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  • Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 111
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sun May 09, 2021 12:10 pm

    Hi @Softpumpkin,

    Just wanted to check-in and ask how are you? How was your week and how is your weekend going? Are you having another AA meeting this week?

    Also, to post a reply, scroll down to the bottom of the discussion/thread until you see a button that says 'Post Reply' and click on it. Hope this helps. :)
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    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 111
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sun May 09, 2021 12:20 pm

    Happy Mother's Day everyone!

    And welcome to our newest members @Mishme, @Justoverit, @ShreeBS, @Emilylauren and @ACP765 . In the forums you'll find some useful information, stories of others whom have had similar experiences to yours, as well as the support of the community.

    Please feel free to post an intro about yourselves, and let us know if you have any questions on how to navigate the forums. We look forward to hearing from you. :)
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    Cooper92
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 4:10 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sun May 09, 2021 5:51 pm

    Hi everyone,

    Thanks for introduction Lhiver. I've been trying to quit drinking and gambling recently after about a decade of hitting them both pretty hard. Both alcohol and gambling have caused a lot of troubles in my life and broken down a few good relationships and I've messed up a few jobs from drinking and calling in sick a lot. I didn't realise how much of a problem I have until the last couple of years since moving to Sydney. I don't know many people so gambling and drinking have replaced any kind of social interaction and I believe if I keep going to this road I will lose my job that I've worked very hard to get. I also need the anxiety, guilt, hangovers, financial costs and other BS that comes with these addictions to stop, it's becoming very exhausting.

    I've tried to quit by myself a few times in last year or so and its turning out to be quite difficult. Once I fail I go on a bender and it takes a few months to resurface. I haven't reached out for support until this time and my friends and family don't know how much control these things have on me.

    Any tips for controlling urges would be really appreciated. I am seeing alcohol everywhere and it's so ingrained in everything I do.

    I think if I can quit drinking I will also be able to quit gambling because they go hand in hand for me.

    Thanks and appreciated the support. Starting day 1 today.
    1 x
    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 111
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sun May 09, 2021 6:24 pm

    Hi @Cooper92,

    First of all, I wanted to acknowledge your courage in coming here to seek for support for the first time and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Secondly, congratulations on starting your Day 1 today!

    I'm very sorry to hear all of the negative consequences that alcohol and gambling have brought into your life. They do go hand by hand more often than people realise. I'm glad you've found these forums, you've come to the right place for some support.

    I highly encourage you to have a read at the following:
    -A dangerous combination: When drinking and gambling come together
    -Preparing to cut down or stop
    -Understanding and managing cravings

    If you consider you require more support, you can speak to a counsellor in NSW 24/7 for free on 1800 422 599 (Regional) (02) 9361 8000 (Metropolitan).

    @ScorpionPW and @Craig PW may be able to share with you more about their own experiences with recovery.

    Please reach out at anytime, we're here for you.
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    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 111
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon May 10, 2021 11:05 am

    Welcome to our newest members @Lizmil1971, @Jhop7711, @Bellcat & @Tiiu!

    In the forums you'll find some useful information, stories of others whom have had similar experiences to yours, as well as the support of the community. Please feel free to post an intro about yourselves.

    Looking forward to seeing you around in the forums. :)
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    Craig PW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 95
    Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2020 1:35 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon May 10, 2021 9:59 pm

    Hi @Cooper92........I identify with your post a lot. The more I drank, the more money I needed and I was already working 60 hour weeks so gambling was my only option. It was also a way of dealing with the lonliness because I could sit in a TAB or casino and be surrounded by people and chat to those around me. I was isoalting in a crowd of people. I drank to celebrate the wins and I drank to drown out the losses. I was walking around numb in the end.

    The term exhausting is spot on too. It's just so mentally and physically taxing and the shame prevented me from telling people. It just hung over my head ALL the time. It slowly wore me down and took a great toll on my mental health. I actually did lose one job because I slept in and then just didn't get out of bed to go. They probably would have forgiven me but at that stage I'd given up on myself so my solution was just not to go back...........not one of my finest hours.

    This sounds really cliche but maybe sharing your situation with friends and family will help. If they know your situation they might make themselves available to call when the urges hit. One of the quickest ways to stop an urge is to share it with someone. In my experience it takes away its power and stops that loop thinking that cravings cause. I remember one night in particular when I drove out to see my dad and brother. I was deep in debt and struggling to see a way out. Anything of value I had was in cash converters, a loan at cash converters, Nimble loan, credit cards maxed, overdraft maxed and I just couldn't ask mates for any more money and owed dad a bit at the time too but the reasons for borrowing were all lies. I was wishing for a way out and didn't like my solution. I sat at the kitchen table and just laid it out to them. I wasn't asking for more money.........I just needed to stop the lies and get some fresh perspective on how to work my way out of it. Together we came up with solutions and being able to call them and speak honestly when I was struggling really helped.

    I didn't identify with 12 step recovery like AA at first. It took me a number of attempts over a number of years but eventually I got it. That helped me immeasurably in the end and helped me establish a new network. Maybe AA or GA could help especially as you're in a new state. You could make some connections there with people who are trying to do the same thing you are..........not drink or gamble.

    Is there a sports club you could join or try a new sport? Tennis clubs are usually pretty quiet or even start some lawn bowls. I come up with some crazy stuff sometimes but you never know.........it might work??!!

    Planning and structuring your day can help. It's bloody hard when everywhere you look there's an ad for booze so plan to get to nature and away from the pubs. Go camping for the weekend. Head to the movies or hit the beach but go to a different beach each time. Head to a country market. Delete the banking apps from your phone so you have to actually go to the bank to get money. Decrease your withdrawal and transfer limits. Leave your bank cards at home and just take enough cash for the day. If you're with someone else ask them to hold your wallet so you can't access the cash. What I found was the more I opened up to people and let them in, the more help I got. People generally want to help. The shame will keep you trapped so hopefully you can find a way to share it. My experience was that people didn't judge. They might ask questions but it wasn't judgment.........it was them trying to understand.

    The good thing is that you are starting to understand your patterns and trying to do what you can to stop it. When people know you're trying not to drink they won't offer you a drink. Maybe they'll start to do things with you that don't involve drinking too.

    Let me know how you go and if you have any questions please yell out............I'm happy to share and explore this more with you

    Good luck
    1 x
    Craig PW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 95
    Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2020 1:35 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon May 10, 2021 10:01 pm

    @Cooper92 you might like to look for a counsellor in your area too. Spending some time with someone who can help you understand your urges and work with you on solutions can be invaluable
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    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 111
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed May 12, 2021 8:28 am

    Welcome to our newest member @Spankypompay!

    Within the forums you'll find some useful information, stories of others with similar experiences and the support of the community.

    Please feel free to post an intro below or tell us a bit what has brought you to the forums. :)
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 78
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu May 13, 2021 3:52 pm

    Welcome @KSS_ !

    The forums are a space to share your story, share tips and tricks for recovery, and to give and receive support from other members of the CounsellingOnline community.

    There are loads of great threads that are well worth checking out! Tonight we have Check-in Thursday, and one of our peer-support workers will be online between 8-10PM!

    I look forward to hearing from you,

    L'Hiver :D
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 78
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sat May 15, 2021 10:40 am

    @Hem , @Redline , @Ellie87 and @Juniper , Welcome to the counselling online forums!

    Hopefully you'll find some useful stuff here and encouraging discussions!

    I can recommenced our Peers for Peers section, viewforum.php?f=49 , as a great jumping off point to get to know a few of our other members and read their stories. As well as to read advice and stories from our Peer workers!

    I'm looking forward to hearing about your own journey's and seeing you all around the forums! :D
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    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 111
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sun May 16, 2021 1:46 pm

    Welcome to our newest member @Demelza!

    Within the forums you'll find some useful information, stories of others with similar experiences and the support of the community.

    Please feel free to post an intro below or tell us a bit what has brought you to the forums and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.

    :)
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    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 111
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon May 17, 2021 2:33 pm

    Welcome to our newest member @curlygirl36!

    In the forums you'll find some useful information, stories of others with similar experiences and the support of the community.

    Please feel free to post an intro below or tell us a bit what has brought you to the forums and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.

    :)
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 78
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue May 18, 2021 8:53 am

    WElcome @redbarron , @“The past is done”-but future is on you- , @Mary2021

    This is a space to share your experiences and journey through recovery. We're all here to support and learn from each other, and there a lots of great threads that you might be interested in checking out!

    When you feel ready you can share your story here, and reach out for any tips and tricks from our other members! :D
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 78
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue May 18, 2021 1:27 pm

    Hi @caleb998 ,

    Welcome to the forums! This is a space to share your journey through recovery and receive tips and support from others who have had similar experiences.

    When you feel ready we'd love to hear your story :)
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    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 111
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue May 18, 2021 6:30 pm

    Welcome to our newest members @stb1960 and @outlander@123!

    In the forums you'll find other people with similar experiences, the support of the community and some useful information for yourself.

    Please feel free to post an intro below or tell us a bit what has brought you here and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.
    :)
    0 x

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