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  • Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 147
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Jul 20, 2021 9:41 pm

    Thank you so much for jumping on here and reaching out @Exfitspo. It helps us all for you to share and it takes a lot of courage so I take my hat off to you for that!

    Addiction runs through my family too, my parents actually met when they were detoxing. I have also fallen into the trap of comparing myself to others, thinking others are worse or not as bad, trying to find reasons why seeking help wouldn't work for me. Then I heard somebody say I was speaking as if i was "terminally unique" and that really resonated with me. I eventually realised that if I was unhappy with where my addiction had brought me, if I was unable to change it on my own and I felt trapped and hopeless then I needed to accept the fact that I didn't have control and all I could so was reach out for help.

    I'm wondering if you have reached out for support anywhere else and if you would like any more info on different groups and support networks you can access?

    We are always here if you either just wanna let it out and connect on the forums or if you wanted to be pointed in the direction of other help as well :)
    3 x
    Exfitspo
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2021 7:53 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Jul 20, 2021 9:56 pm

    PnorkelPW wrote:
    Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:43 pm
    Welcome @Exfitspo and really cool that you’re able to recognise the situation your finding yourself in and the direction that can take you. I knew that was happening to me but was too proud and too far in denial to do anything about it soon enough. I really identify with the thoughts about not being as bad as others too.

    Questions…………what do you think you can do to turn things around? What do you think will work for you?


    I was like...am...like that too haha! I haven't told my husband I've sought help as I am too proud and didn't want any judgement if I have set backs. I've tried and failed before and I wanted this to be something I can bounce back from myself

    To turn things around...ive bought a heap of non alcoholic drinks in the fridge as treats! Developed a hot chocolate and mocha addiction....haha
    Trying workouts at night instead of the morning...a quick 20 minute workout or yoga at night helps shift your mood so much! Im still having a drink most nights BUT not every night and instead of having too many im just having a couple and really enjoying them and I've felt satisfied to STOP. Well...so far :lol:
    2 x
    User avatar
    teapot
    Moderator
    Posts: 48
    Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2020 2:54 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Jul 21, 2021 7:07 am

    @Exfitspo Having some non-alcoholic drinks in the fridge ready to go is such a great strategy. Do you find that doing some exercise in the evening helps you to wind down after a big day?
    1 x
    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 155
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Jul 21, 2021 12:49 pm

    Welcome to our newest members @Ontheinsideithurts, @Dup and @Sunflowers1!

    The forums are a safe and non-judgemental space to share and connect with other people that have gone through similar experiences. Please feel free to post an intro about yourselves. Would be great to know what brought you to the forums or perhaps you have a specific question we might be able to help with.

    Looking forward to hearing your stories. :)
    0 x
    Exfitspo
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2021 7:53 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Jul 21, 2021 7:48 pm

    teapot wrote:
    Wed Jul 21, 2021 7:07 am
    @Exfitspo Having some non-alcoholic drinks in the fridge ready to go is such a great strategy. Do you find that doing some exercise in the evening helps you to wind down after a big day?

    I think it does! I really prefer to do my normal workouts in the morning...but I've been doing brief 20min zoom workouts with my friends each night this week and I've noticed how much better I feel afterwards. Amazing what getting your blood pumping for 10 minutes can do :)
    1 x
    Jetpilot
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Fri Feb 26, 2021 2:18 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:19 pm

    Hi, just want to welcome @sueB to the fourms, what brings you to the forums for support?
    0 x
    Jetpilot
    Junior Member
    Posts: 6
    Joined: Fri Feb 26, 2021 2:18 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:26 pm

    I also want to welcome @KimbaMaree mb , @Annie2405 and @Sarah999 Sarah. this a safe place to reach out and connect for support.
    0 x
    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 131
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 22, 2021 1:51 pm

    good afternoon @Rachel28 ! welcome to the Counselling Online Forums, these forums are a place for you to share your journey and to connect with us!

    When you feel ready you can post here! Maybe you can start with telling us what brought you to the forums? :D
    0 x
    WildeReformed
    Junior Member
    Posts: 13
    Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2021 2:46 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 22, 2021 2:16 pm

    Thank you for responding to my post @PnorkelPW @ScorpionPW @Lhiver

    @Lhiver I can take away from my lapse that I wasn't listening to myself or paying attention to known triggers. My biggest trigger is anxiety in social situations where drugs or alcohol are involved. I went to a party where I knew both would be present, along with people that I was friends with before recovery. I was anxious going into it and knew it would be a poor decision but also wanted to be supportive for a friends birthday. I now know that in order to continue with recovery, I need to not put myself in that situation again and listen to my inner voice. It was frustrating because this is a lesson that I have had a couple of times. I just need to remember it.

    @ScorpionPW This is really the only place I have reached out. I don't really have any support systems (besides my partner who does his best!) in place as I left all of my friends behind when I started recovery and moved to places where no one knew the old me. It's been good to have a clean slate but difficult because whenever I do tell people about being an addict and in recovery the response is always that they can't believe it ... my partner calls me a chameleon because I'm so good at covering up and blending in. So, now I don't really tell people.

    @PnorkelPW Thank you for sharing that. It is true, I am surrounded by people who don't have an addiction. Everyone will have a picnic and bring drinks and I always feel like such an outsider, constantly asked what I'm drinking or if I want one. I should just come out and say why I don't but the responses have been so awkward in the past that I feel bad for making someone else feel bad. I've managed to find friends from very different worlds and I always thought it would make it easier but it can sometimes make it more isolating.
    1 x
    WildeReformed
    Junior Member
    Posts: 13
    Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2021 2:46 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 22, 2021 2:21 pm

    @Exfitspo taking it one day at a time, celebrating every win (no matter how small), exercising, and using distraction really helped me when I first started recovery. It sounds like you are doing all of the right things and I wish you all of the success. It's great that you have a goal (baby) and that you are connecting with friends when you would normally be having a drink. You've identified some of your triggers and are working on finding coping mechanisms. CONGRATULATIONS- it's a huge acheivement.
    1 x
    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 131
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 22, 2021 2:44 pm

    @WildeReformed that's a really good thing to learn. It can be frustrating having to stumble a few times, especially when it's a trigger you've already recognised, but recovery has it's ups and downs and I can hear the determination in your voice. And the situation you're describing is really hard! Of course you want to be there for your friend, and sometimes we think that the situation won't be too bad and that everything might be okay, but it sounds like listening to your gut feeling is going to be the best route for the time being. Be kind to yourself right now.

    I love the encouragement you've give to @Exfitspo ! Taking it one day at a time, having clear goals and keeping some good distractions up your sleeve are so important. What distractions do you use, @WildeReformed ?
    0 x
    Annie2405
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 11:07 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 22, 2021 7:05 pm

    Hi everyone, I joined the forum because I have a problem with alcohol and want to stop drinking all together. I was hoping people might have some useful tips. My drinking is at a point where I will do it without anyone knowing and get to a point where I black out and don’t remember anything. My partner has reached his limits with my blackouts but he doesn’t understand I have a problem within me where I constantly fight the urge to drink. He just thinks I’m a lightweight that’s overreacting. I just want him to see the seriousness of it and give me the support I need. I’m sick of disappointing him. I hadn’t had a drink for 3 days which is good for me, then yesterday for no reason I drank a bottle and passed out.
    1 x
    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 131
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 22, 2021 7:55 pm

    Hey @Annie2405 I just want to say it's really great you've reached out, it can be really hard to take that first step, so good on you. Not having that support form your partner is incredibly difficult, it can feel incredibly isolating when those around you don't understand what's going on.

    I'm going to tag our peer workers @ScorpionPW and @PnorkelPW . They are a font of knowledge and advice and may have some useful tips for you right now.

    I'm also going to tag some other members @Simply me @Katiee @Alvarosyd @WildeReformed @Exfitspo just to share any support or advice they have.
    0 x
    Katiee
    Member
    Posts: 44
    Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2019 10:54 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 22, 2021 8:00 pm

    @Annie2405 hey Annie welcome to the group you’ve come to the right place. This place is really supportive and been a good place for me to turn to in times of need
    2 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 95
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 22, 2021 9:27 pm

    Welcome @Annie2405 ...............One of the things I've learnt along the way is that I'm not like other people. I can't just drink a couple of nights per week because when I wasn't drinking, I was thinking about drinking............or thinking how I was going to get through the day without drinking. I learnt that that's what they call cravings and that that's what sets me apart from "normal" people.

    I always knew I drank differently to most people and that once I started I didn't stop but I had this overinflated opinion of myself and thought I was somehow better than other people because I'd drink harder and longer than they would. What I didn't know was that cravings are part of what makes me an alcoholic. "Normal" people don't know what it's like to have to fight those thoughts and urges all the time. That's why I found AA meetings helpful. I was around other people who understood my struggle. Understood what the cravings were like. Understood what it was like to honestly not want to drink but having to fight so hard not to do it.

    I'd recommend talking to an alcohol and drug counsellor first and talking about strategies to see if you can work through some solutions together.

    Keeping busy is always good. Maybe going for a walk after dinner and then having a bath or a shower. Read a book instead of watching television. Doing mindful things like jigsaw puzzles or colouring books can be good. Do you play a sport? Have a hobby? What about some boardgames or a yoga session? A workout after work or study can be helpful too.............anything to tire you out a bit then a meal and bed.

    Have you tried anything in the past that has worked?
    0 x

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