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  • Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 248
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sun Sep 12, 2021 2:00 pm

    Hi @ATG,

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. It's great that you've reached out for support, this can often be one of the hardest steps so well done.

    Sounds like your relationship with your wife is a very important and strong motivation for you. You've already gone through long periods of sobriety, so you have proven yourself it is possible and you can do it. Often people will initially give it a try on their own and then come to the realisation that they need more support. Lapses and relapses are part of the process, and each attempt helps you keep getting better at it. Have you considered getting support from a GP?

    I'm going to tag our peer workers @PnorkelPW and @ScorpionPW and a few members that you might like to connect with: @OceanSky, @Simply me, @UltraViolet, @CatMumofone, @Nugnug @apples123 @BonsaiBeginner @WildeReformed @Katiee @Alvarosyd
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    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 222
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon Sep 13, 2021 9:55 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing @ATG, one of the main things I've gotten from what you've shared is that addiction doesn't discriminate.

    Sometimes it doesn't matter how things look on the outside, and it's also remarkable how we can function even when struggling with addiction, from the outside looking in nobody would know.

    I can relate to what you're saying with the binging as well. For me, even when I went periods of time where I thought I could control my substance use, it ended up taking so much energy and occupied so many of my thoughts to maintain the illusion of control, but it never lasted long.

    I'm wondering if you have reached out for help in any other support networks, if you have very tried any support groups before or if this is the first place you're reaching out?
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 192
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon Sep 13, 2021 10:17 pm

    Hi @ATG and welcome to the forums……..thanks for sharing. In just a few short words your story reminds me so much of mine………..unfortunately I waited until a few years after I lost my marriage to have a serious tilt at a life of abstinence. I’m not going to sit here and say that if you stop now you’ll be able to save your marriage but I am going to say that if you have a serious crack at it you’ll put yourself in the best position to do so.

    My life was full of stops and starts……….I even managed to get 7 months up at one stage before making the mistake of thinking I’d be “able to control it this time”. Just Saturday night turned quickly in to Friday and Saturday nights which was followed by a cheeky Tuesday for steak night and then Thursday for footy tips………pretty sure you know where this is going. Unfortunately for me my drinking became from the moment I woke up to stop the shakes to the moment I passed out at night……….and that on top of the lies and issues associated with other addictions ended up costing me my marriage.

    Eventually I hit rehab because that’s what I had to do at the time. Knowing that every time I’d stopped before I’d ended up starting again and going further down the rabbit hole. They say there’s no such thing as rock bottom because there’s always a trap door and I’d found trap door after trap door after trap door……….I was lucky to survive. What I learnt in rehab was what addiction is………what an addict is………..what an alcoholic is. I learnt that I was an alcoholic and an addict. I learnt that I couldn’t get off that merry-go-round without help.

    You see I always thought an alcoholic was the guy on the park bench drinking out of the brown paper bag. I remember seeing a guy outside the Vic Market drinking a bottle of metho when I was about 10 and that was my picture of an alcoholic. I also thought you had to drink every day to be an alcoholic but that’s not true. I always knew I drank differently to other people………there was no off button and if you asked me to come to the pub for a few drinks that what’s I did…………I drank. It wasn’t about the conversation or the company, it was all about the drink and I had to cram as many as I could into the time I had……….I binged. When I was at school I used to spend the whole week thinking about the weekend because that’s when I got to drink. I’d plan how we were getting it, where we were going, how I was going to get away with it and how I could fit as much as possible in………..that’s an alcoholic………I’d just never understood it.

    Drinking dominated my thoughts and I had to learn to deal with that because I’d proven to myself that I could stop………..I just never proved I could stay stopped………until this time round and I’m almost at 6 years. I’ll never make the promise that I’ll never drink again because it’s a promise I’ve never been able to keep. What I will promise is that I’ll do everything I can today not to drink.

    For me it took a 3 month stint in rehab and becoming a part of the AA fellowship because I couldn’t do it alone. Maybe seeing a drug and alcohol counsellor will help you, maybe you’ll need extra help but I recommend starting with a conversation with your GP. My GP was amazing and is still a great support when needed.

    I’d love to hear how you go and am happy to answer any questions or share more if it helps………….just don’t give up trying.
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    Spyrina
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2021 8:05 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon Sep 13, 2021 11:35 pm

    I failed
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 247
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:26 am

    @Spyrina I'm sorry to hear that you've had a lapse, but a lapse isn't a failure in any capacity. Recovery is a journey which has its ups and downs, and there will be challenges along the way. Right now the important thing to remember is you can get back on track and start again. Be kind to yourself right now, remember we're here to support you. It might be worthwhile to look at this as a learning experience, what strategies were working and what weren't and how can you better prepare yourself?

    How are you travelling today?
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 247
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:28 am

    welcome to the forums @effycat!

    You'll find here a community of people who have come together to support each other through their recovery journeys! This is a judgement free space, so when you feel comfortable feel free to write a little about yourself here, maybe what brought you to the forums today?

    I'll see you around!
    1 x
    Wyatt103
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2021 7:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Sep 15, 2021 7:38 am

    Hi everyone

    I’ve joined because my alcohol consumption has increased significantly. I’ve tried to stop , reduce but have only managed a day or two of sobriety before beginning again. Currently, however, there hasn’t been a break in consumption for a while. I suffer from anxiety and depression which I have realised today is exacerbated by my drinking. I wake each morning with guiltily feelings and vowing to stop…and the mild hangover keeps this line of thought until the same time each day where I feel anxious about going without a drink that evening. It’s like a carousel of events….

    I have always been an anxious/depression person and am medicated for this.
    I live with others who drink sensibly and they are concerned, but even their concerns fall on deaf ears at the moment.

    Looking forward to meeting others

    Wyatt
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    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 248
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Sep 15, 2021 9:30 am

    Hi @Wyatt103,

    Welcome to the forums! And thank you for sharing your story with us. It's great that you've reached out for support, this can often be one of the hardest steps so well done!
    Sounds like you just had a very important realisation about the "carousel of events" between the anxiety, depression and alcohol consumption. Have you spoken to a GP to help you reduce your alcohol consumption?
    I'm going to tag our peer workers @PnorkelPW and @ScorpionPW and some members you might like to connect with @OceanSky @UltraViolet @BonsaiBeginner @Nugnug @Simply me
    :)
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    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 248
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Sep 15, 2021 12:07 pm

    Welcome to our newest member @Spyral!
    In the forums you will find an incredibly supportive community you can connect with in a safe and non-judgemental environment. You might like to start navigating the forums going through the Peers for Peers section. Please feel free to post an intro about yourself, would be great to know what brought you here?
    Looking forward to following your journey. :)
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    Arteen
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2021 6:37 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Sep 15, 2021 6:41 pm

    Hi everyone ✋

    Not sure what to say about myself, going through a rough time which is probably a lot of us here, I’ve been struggling with addiction and also recent ptsd dual diagnosis waiting for more treatment. My normal interests are gaming, spending time with my partner and my fur kids and not just living on basic functioning. I’m a writer, love to learn and am studying but it’s on hold for now.
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    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 222
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Sep 15, 2021 8:55 pm

    Hi @Wyatt103, thanks so much for sharing with us and it sounds like a really difficult spot that you're in, stuck between a rock and a hard place.

    I remember it was similar for me, whenever I could stop for short periods of time my mental health and the darkness in my thinking would get unbearable to the point where I would pick up again. Then using ended up exacerbating all of the reasons I started in the first place so it really was like a vicious cycle that felt like there was no way out.

    For me, I couldn't have any meaningful life change until I accepted that I needed complete abstinence, got help to detox safely and got on going support through 12 step groups.

    I'm wondering if you've tried to reach out for any other support to help you stop drinking safely or if you're simply in a place where you don't feel like you're ready to stop yet?

    Just know that no matter where you're at we are here for support and I hope you continue to reach out and share your journey with us :)
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 247
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Sep 16, 2021 3:40 pm

    hi @Arteen welcome to the forums.

    thank you for sharing your story, it takes a lot of courage to do so, so good on you.

    it sounds like you have been having an incredible difficult time lately. Being in that liminal space of waiting for treatment is difficult, and is made harder when you're managing dual-diagnosis.

    I'm going to tag the peer workers here as they may have some words of advice for you @PnorkelPW @ScorpionPW

    It sounds like you have a lot of passions and interests in life, which is great to hear! I think the important thing to keep in mind at the moment is to take it one day at a time and to be kind to yourself. Have you been able to keep up with your interests lately?
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 247
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Sep 16, 2021 3:42 pm

    welcome to our new member @Enoughs enough

    The counselling online forums are a judgement place for you to share your story and journey through recovery.

    When you're feeling comfortable you can share little about yourself here in this thread :)
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 247
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Sep 16, 2021 7:35 pm

    hey @Spyrina

    I just wanted to check in and see how you're going?
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 192
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Sep 16, 2021 9:18 pm

    @Spyrina no such thing as failure...........just lessons to be learnt

    I'm reminded of the sayings that "A winner is just a loser who had the courage to give it one more go" and one of my personal favourites.........."I failed my way to success" - think about it and don't give up on yourself
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