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  • When did you recognise you had a problem?

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    Simply me
    Posts: 69
    Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:51 pm

    Re: When did you recognise you had a problem?

    Wed May 26, 2021 8:47 pm

    Some ponderings, take anything that resonates and leave the rest...

    Grief is a shapeshifter indeed. Its range of emotions can be anger, sadness, hysteria, physical pains, or a combination....all challenging to navigate without picking up. Not sure which ones are coming up for you, that might decide the kinds of activities that work for you? What you need to express. If the gyms not working out what about tai chi /qigong, or yoga? It's said even looking at images of folks doing an activity you're working towards turns those parts of the brain on. Vision boards can give ideas. We are in process, things are evolving....

    I'd agree with @Craig PW gathering supportive n safe beings who are also on a path of nourishing themselves. Both in whatever your inclined towards ways be, and maybe help to discover/ explore some new ones. A class / group, mayhap going with a support person if possible, can mean you get the input and benefits whilst you 'outsource the motivation'. I would say in the same breath though to be gentle on the pressure, if you miss something, so be it. Grief can make you want to just curl up n doona therapy, and I feel some days that's ok. Its part of acknowledging your losses...
    Animals, and plants, are also amazing with this stuff, so onto it. If you can walk or hang with one, that's great. Walking is free, no need to engage if you're not feeling it. You head off and out n see where it leads. If angers coming up, faster, if low mood, ambling. Amblings a great pace for observing surroundings. If you can get bare feet on the earth, even better....

    I find hope is an antidote to feeling ****. Anyway I can nurture it is fine by me in those dark times. I'll be a dag here and say kids / young adult movies and books can do it for me. They're written to inspire the imagination, and future folks. Maybe head for a library and check out the kids / young adults section. When I've been in grief my focus is effected, and shorter books and visuals get in there faster....

    Crafting is my go to. Journalling, writing it out.....

    I believe we actually do take care of ourselves as best we can in any given time. It's just some of the tools that get short term results, suck longer term. For me it's been about finding tools that are kinder on our systems, those we care about. And when I have a wtf moment where its beyond me, I reach out. My Dad once said to me, 'Never be to proud to accept help' and I took that to heart.....

    Blessings and good vibes
    4 x
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 153
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: When did you recognise you had a problem?

    Thu May 27, 2021 9:41 am

    I think @Craig PW and @Simply me had some great suggestions. I know for me it's really helpful to get a snapshot of what works for others so I can get ideas to try for myself.

    I think the key is to find out what works for you @Shaz83. Like, your recovery is as individual as your fingerprint so it will be made up things unique to you but we all start at the same point, and that is the admission that we need help. Which you have done here, which is not an easy thing to do and I take my hat off to you for that.

    I'm curious as to how things are for you now and if you've made any progress around trying anything else to start seeking help?

    Something to remember as well is that this is also a space where you can just talk about what's going on for you and find people to relate to, even if actually putting action into changing things feels too overwhelming at the moment. We don't have to be outcome focused and my hope is that you are able to find some connection and some hope.
    2 x
    Craig PW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 95
    Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2020 1:35 pm

    Re: When did you recognise you had a problem?

    Thu May 27, 2021 9:49 pm

    Great post @Simply me ...............some solid sharing of what's worked for you

    The last part has really set my mind racing...................."never be too proud to accept help"

    So often I talk to people about not being to proud to ask for help. Or too ashamed. The longer I've sat here letting that thought roll around in my head though, the more I've realised that what most oftens leads me back into difficult times is not being willing to accept help. It prevents me from asking for help because I don't want to accept that I can't get through it on my own...........or I can't figure it out on my own. That stubborn independent streak is one of my biggest defects. It's what kept me trapped in addiction and denial for so long and it's what shows up in my journal when I realise that I'm getting overwhelmed by life sometimes.

    I fall into the trap of the "I knows"

    I know what I need to do..........I know what I should do...........I should know what to do...........don't tell me what to do..........I know what works for me.............and other such classics that are clear signs I need to take some action and correct the balance in my life. Over time I've got better at recognising this stuff earlier which is a credit to my trusty journal.............doesn't mean that I don't fall back into the trap at times though.

    In all this, being able to accept help is paramount because if I'm not going to accept help I won't ask for it.............this is the paradox that keeps me trapped in the cycle longer. Sometimes I have to accept help from people I don't want to accept help from. Sometimes it's from people I don't know and I just have to trust in their intentions and ability to help. Sometimes it's from people who help me all the time. I struggle with these people most because I don't want to feel like a burden or I question whether I'm giving enough to them too. If I feel like I've been taking a lot recently and not giving, I'm less likely to ask for and accept help from them because I tell myself it's been one way traffic lately and I need to figure whatever it is out on my own.

    Thing is........I don't have all the answers. Sometimes I need to accept help...........most of all when I don't want to.

    Thanks so much for sharing that @Simply me.............I love the things I read on these forums
    1 x

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