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Is it pain or is it addiction?!

Posted: Fri May 17, 2019 6:10 pm
by horsecrazy4eva
I recently well early February this year sustained a traumatic injury, as a result of this injury I required pain relief.

I am still experiencing some pain, not as strong as what it was at the time of injury.

I am worried the pain I am experiencing is actually “phantom pain” and this is leading me to control it with pain relief

I am following the pain relief guidelines so am not going over the recommended daily limits

I am hoping someone could provide me with pain relief addiction personal experiences

Was there actually any pain you were experiencing during your addiction?! Like pain as in physical or nerve pain?!

While addicted were there days you could last on a within guidelines limit?! Or were you always going over the guidelines?!

Re: Is it pain or is it addiction?!

Posted: Fri May 17, 2019 8:18 pm
by Hercules
Hello @crazyhorse4eva,

Hercules here, one of the Counselling Online forum moderators. Thank-you for your post, and welcome to the community :)
It sounds like you've been through a lot. I'm sensing that you're wanting to hear other people's stories to see whether others identify with your experience, and are wishing to stay within the guidelines to maintain your journey of recovery. I'm hoping others on the forum can shed light on their journeys, and I look forward to hearing updates on your journey and other people's experiences.

Kind regards,

Hercules

Re: Is it pain or is it addiction?!

Posted: Tue May 21, 2019 12:37 am
by horsecrazy4eva
Here I am back again,

So I tried to drop the pain relief again, I dropped from prescription level to over the counter level, again with that thought “surely I don’t need it”

I made 3 days and my pain returned, but also some swelling at the site of the injury returned

Maybe this is the sign that it is real, and it’s there?! Maybe it is actual true real pain

The headache and pain has not really gone away since going back I went back on the prescription level stuff.

What does this tell me?!

It tells me how simple it really is to self medicate, I mean right now to stop my pain I could “double dose” how easy that is, I mean what just once?!

No no no! This is not the way to go, for if you double dose once, the body will “want” that level continued to stop the pain signals from being sent through

Ultimately I am one lucky person, my pain is not debilitating like some others are, I went on a website about chronic pain,

My eyes popped out of my head when I read about the medications some were on!

So what can I do?!

Well sadly there isn’t much, but I must tell my GP about this experience again, I may need the “extra strong/hospital grade” like once or twice, last time I did that, it bought the pain under control and the prescription level was able to keep it there

The other part of my brain experiences a mix of emotions,

Anger - why is this pain still here, why can’t this pain just knick off, the interference it has, ok only little but still

Sadness - maybe this is actually permanent, like how many years will it be at this level, why why why?! Then tears fall from my eyes

Agitation - When the pain is there, and something is going to get me pissed off, my fuse is so short, sometimes it’s already there from the moment I open my eyes from sleep

Anxiety - this pain, boy it’s hard to work with, sometimes I need to lay down, how on earth do I do that with a job?!

Frustration - oh this is a classic, “I know someone who was in hospital strength pain killers and still worked so what is your problem” oh this just drives me insane this very thing, they just don’t get it?!

Embarrassing thing - the whole checking the time and keeping track of that last time you took the pain relief, working out “now what time was it, what is the time now, can I take it, and also the whole taking the drug as well, I mean yes maybe I do need it,

As you can see the mixed of emotions and thoughts

I get it I get it! How dam easy it is to become addicted! The whole feeling pain physically and just wanting it to stop, yet the medications you take just don’t cut it, the interference with sleep, getting in that correct sleeping position! Then if I lay down too much I get aches and pains in other parts of my body, it’s telling me - ah! You?! Get up, get out, get excercise, get moving,

Oh my god! Did I forget to mention how my fitness level has suffered?! Oh yea! If I ain’t in pain the anxiety does kick in

I actually think the other day I burned out! Oh wait so I did forget to mention, during my attempt to stop with prescription level pain relief, not only did I get a headache, but my god! I could have sleep 23 hrs out of 24 no problems, eeekkkk, it was horrible, every movement felt like I had run a fast race and was exhausted that was bad

So what happens now, well I have to wait until I see a specialist doctor, known as a chronic pain specialist, they will do an assessment and check out what to do, maybe change onto other types of medications ones that are not classified as pain relief as such, but more blocking the pain signals, I don’t know

What I can say is I thank GOD every day for pain relief, and thank GOD I am in fortnightly visits with my GP, just to be sure, I swear I always check with them and the pharmacist “am I addicted?!” To get a no your injury was traumatic, then to ask in a panic “has someone found out I am taking this and for a while and doesn’t think it’s well managed” I get a reply “no, you actually aren’t on a high dose, I mean god, very little, it’s not super hospital strength so I think you’re ok”

Well that’s a relief to hear every time but that paranoid feeling sets in, within minutes of leaving, maybe this is an addiction that hasn’t been picked up

Well bring on the chronic pain specialist

Re: Is it pain or is it addiction?!

Posted: Tue May 21, 2019 1:07 pm
by Calvino01
Hello @horsecrazy4eva

I'm Calvin one of the Moderators.
Thankyou for sharing your experience.

I really like how you have expressed your feelings here and you've given a good break down of what things have been like for you.

You've shown a great deal of self-awareness.
It can be quite a stressful and overwhelming process along the way.

Hope all goes well with the specialist.

Kind regards,

Calvin