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Should never have touched the ****

Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2019 12:45 pm
by Vh383
Long story short.
Loved to party when I was younger, anything and everything under the sun. Had to be the last one going every time at the party.
Settled down and found a nice woman. Unfortunately ice made its way into our lives and neally every weekend for just over a year and our lives have been stuck in a vicious cycle.
Monday to Friday is fine, Friday arvo hits, beers then up till Monday night.
Can’t break the cylcle and my partner is dealing with phycosis.
Am mentally , physically tired and fed up with throwing away my money to cunt drug dealers. But it plays you against yourself and is hard to win.
Cut out the triggers etc yeh easier said than done.
I forgot what a normal life is, would give anything to be back there.

Re: Should never have touched the ****

Posted: Tue Sep 24, 2019 3:38 pm
by Vik
Hi Vh383, welcome to the community and thank you for sharing your story.

Definitely sounds like you're sick of the cycle, and eager to get out. I hear you that hearing about cutting out triggers can get repetitive for you, is there anything that you have found works for you though? Or anything that you think you'd be open to trying out?

Sorry to hear about your partner, how's she doing?

take care

Re: Should never have touched the ****

Posted: Sun Sep 29, 2019 11:55 am
by Vh383
Since that post, we have both stopped. All it took was telling someone and reaching out. Don’t get me wrong it’s hard sometimes, the urge isn’t there for me anymore, I’ve wanted out for a long time. It’s now the mood changes and all the rest of it now I have to control.
But all in all I we have overcome it.
Definitely something you don’t want in your life

Re: Should never have touched the ****

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 3:36 pm
by Vik
hi @Vh383 how are things going for you lately?
Your last post was really positive! Would love an update

Re: Should never have touched the ****

Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2020 9:52 am
by Vh383
Went even further down to a even lower, darker spot neally killing myself and my loved ones. Very sad and disappointing now have to live with most likely permanent damage to airways.
Dumbfounded to myself how silly you can be to have no care about anything else at all.

Soul destroying ...

Was always on the road outta here but I guess I won’t be looking back now.

Re: Should never have touched the ****

Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2020 6:45 am
by Ningnong
I just wanted to check in with you. I have read your thread and I can relate to how you're feeling. In my past, there have been times where I have been able to get off this drug and stay clean for some time, only to relapse and fall further into drug abuse, with worse negative impacts on my life each time.
I know how it feels to just sit and think about all the bad choices you've made under the influence of this drug, all the people you've hurt, and hate yourself entirely.
I haven't found the magic pill that will erase all that, or the quick fix that will finally set me free from the hold this drug has on my life, but I don't want to give up, ever. Even though I sometimes feel like I am drowning in my misery, I can still find reasons to live, and continue to try and beat this thing.
I just wanted to encourage you to do the same. You are important, and you are worthy. Please don't give up trying to beat this.