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  • Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    Simply me
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:51 pm

    Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    Sun Oct 06, 2019 6:23 pm

    Heylo folk,

    Thanks Cat7 for your support eh!

    There I was getting all sassy that I'd got through a month booze free, when yesterday hit. Admittedly I'd had a big day previously, first meeting of a new support group I'd had input into planning. It went great, but groups definitely not my usual comfort zone. Backlash time. Couldn't focus on anything to distract myself, restless n agitated, voices, no energy but mind going blah blah. Ill be honest, I had to a) take some extra psych meds and b) retreat to doona land. I didn't feel good about either, but was losing it. Didn't pick up the alcohol.

    Today I woke up, and was determined to set a different tone. I did feel better for having slept most of yesterday afternoon, and through the night. So, I went for a bush walk, solo, to a local lake for a swim. Hours there, so peacefull. I just knew I needed some nature time. Then when I got home, feeling lighter, I did some high quality scavenging through a skip bin, and carried load after load of pavers and tiles to use in the garden. Going most of rest o the day. My body felt tired, yet calm. My partner built a beautiful path. Now there's a stash for me to edge almost the entire garden :)

    These two contrasting days highlighted for me the dance between allowing rest, and exercise/activity that can be called for on this kinda journey. Sometimes all you can do is retreat n shut down, other times you gotta push on through to get moving. Being that you can, as needed. I'm not a gym person, but walking n swimming, gardening, I can do. Free stuff where u don't need gear is good in my world. Its just my version....

    One day my aim is to get off the psych meds, long term goal. Been on them 20 something years, tried few times. Lessons like this, sucky as they are, will be learning curve for toolbox down that road. I hope. Gotta be.

    Thanks...
    0 x
    User avatar
    Vik
    Posts: 171
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:54 pm

    Re: Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    Mon Oct 07, 2019 3:40 pm

    simply me that's really awesome to hear, congrats on reaching the month!
    It's been a pleasure getting updates on how things have been, looking forward to the next months for you.

    Well done on getting through the weekend. Sounds like you're doing a really great job with the self "nourishing" you spoke about and reflecting & adapting.

    Take care :)
    0 x
    Simply me
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:51 pm

    Re: Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    Thu Oct 24, 2019 6:13 pm

    Thanks for that Vik!

    Now hit just over 9 weeks! Shall simply share some of what I'm experiencing in case anything strikes a chord, excuse the rambling....

    Had a stint of grumble bum/anger coming up days, when again couldn't focus to distract very well. I rode it out somewhat ungracefully with the odd getting something done betwixt. Its like all the **** Ive stuffed under the rug popped back up to say hi! I thanked it for coming, but explained it can move on, as I'm learning new ways to take care of myself in the now. Repeatedly, sometimes in foul language...

    I structure my own days, and I'm having to learn that I needs be do just that in some ways. Creating new habits and eeek routines even, to start and end the day. Aside from those based around caffeinated beverages in morningk, alcoholic ones in the eveningk (or earlier I shan't kid myself). I still have multiple coffees but ALSO have a swim aka immerse in saline, go for an ambling beach walk and check out the bird life. Rough right?! Now my partners joining me :)

    I'm crafting madly last few days especially (remember that anger), inspired by a woman named India Flint especially. That's helping. I hand sew clothes, that sounds fancy, but translates to I don't have a sewing machine and I like the look of running stitch. Hillbilly stitchin'. I also use plants, mostly Eucalyptus leaves, to dye op shop finds and what I've sewn up from those I've butchered. Cranking the volume on all that, so that make during day and then at night 'embellish'. That translates to doing running stitch excessively but somewhat meditationally on said items to reinforce joins in fabric. So they don't fray, and I don't have to think too much...

    I've been journalling a fair bit eh. Strategies, simply flow of thoughts n feelings. Also worked out, that when I'm feeling disconnected from my spirit guides, I can do a question / answer dialogue with them, and that feels pretty solid. Ripples out into day....

    I'm coming to a place of juggling distraction with nourishment, for both cravings or distress. Same deals it seems.
    If all else fails I chat to a counsellor here, or a friend who knows what I'm doing. Sometimes I just do anyways, to go 'made it through another - insert time frame' or simply to chat...

    Anyways, thanks...
    Blessings n good vibes...
    0 x
    User avatar
    Vik
    Posts: 171
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:54 pm

    Re: Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    Mon Nov 18, 2019 9:31 am

    Simply me how's things going?
    0 x
    Simply me
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:51 pm

    Re: Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    Fri Nov 29, 2019 1:30 pm

    Heylo Vik, Folk,

    Thanks for asking! Am now 3 months booze free. Pretty stoked!

    I acknowledge having said that, day to day life, comes with it's ooh it would be so easy just to pick up n numb challenges. My 'moments' are when difficult emotions (and conversations) arise, I'm over-tired or over-whelmed. It's a signal or red flag to take some self care down time...

    That recognised, the clarity and focus Ive gained are valued, well enough to continue to haul ***, basically.
    A week or so ago I spent some 6 hours working on outlining my goals, short and long term, in as distinct a form as possible. Part of the processes to do with the National Disability Insurance Scheme, which I was recently approved for. It was pretty confronting, but actually real good to do. It meant mapping out potential pathway/s of what matters to me. So worth doing. Probably never would have happened it if wasn't asked of me, but it was, n that's cool from this end of the process. It also showed me that I'm on my way, or in (slow) motion towards these things, and part of that continuing, is staying sober. Bugger it. No seriously, it's satisfying and empowering in ways that continue to surprise and sneak up on me. It's funny how many 'casual' drinkers are blown away when I tell them I've been without a drink this long, you can see em kinda twitch nervously n look for the door...

    Ive been using alcohol as a crutch since I was about 14, so it's like reprogramming your whole response system. It's been my used the most freeway, and now I'm exploring travelling on a wee dirt road. Way more my style, just a bit odd at times...

    Anyways, hope all are navigating their own ways through the labyrinth. Seems like no one path works for all eh. My Grandpa was with AA for 50 years. Me, can't do it. Although his wise sayings from there, often pop into my awareness, and I do still believe the Serenity prayer pretty much kicks ***, just without the God bit for me...

    Thanks...
    1 x
    Green
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2019 10:49 am

    Re: Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    Mon Dec 02, 2019 6:40 pm

    Hi @Simply me ,

    It sounds like you're working really hard to make some of these changes a reality. These changes must be really important for you if you're willing to work so hard for them.

    Take care,
    Green
    0 x
    User avatar
    Vik
    Posts: 171
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:54 pm

    Re: Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:15 pm

    so impressed simply me, thanks for sharing!!!
    0 x
    Simply me
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:51 pm

    Re: Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    Wed Dec 11, 2019 6:19 pm

    Ummm cheers Green n Vik! In a nonalcoholic beverage type way! ;)
    1 x
    User avatar
    Vik
    Posts: 171
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:54 pm

    Re: Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    Thu Dec 12, 2019 10:24 am

    How are you feeling about the holiday season @Simply me ?
    0 x
    Simply me
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:51 pm

    Re: Just over a month no booze, aiming for 6 months...

    Fri Dec 13, 2019 6:53 am

    Determined Vik. Also keeping things real low key, and I can which is a blessing. Me, partner n cat...

    It will be hard for me, a number of my closest family have passed over the years, and my thoughts turn to them this time of year. There's a grieving, sense of loss. However, they will be with me in their own ways. My brother for example was definitely present ('scuse pun, humor necessary) yesterday when I bought my fella the crankingest version of a swiss army knife out, a 'leather man'. It has virtually every hand tool known in a fold away form, portable DIY. It's a matter of 'reframes' I guess. My Granma was with me when I found a second hand gathering of hand painted wooden Christmas decorations on half price day at the op shop. My Dad would be proud of where I'm at as the year draws to a close....

    My partner and I are having some challenges, probably not alone in that one! He suffers from depression at times and it's active in the now, he really doesn't feel like doing anything....I'm a chronic crafter and immerse myself when things get tough. So between my crazed doings and his not, there's a disconnection and frustration between us. I have a lived experience of depression too, so I get it. We do continue to love each other, weirdly, so all we can do is hold that and ride the **** wave! Ha!

    Also, you know simple stuff. Celebrate with good food, thoughtfull gifts and giving folks time, sounds boring? Mayhaps gettin' old! I find Xmas pud n prawns exciting this year! Although I seriously felt like a bourbon n coke a couple of days ago, so the cravings still exist, especially with heat the idea of a 'cold one'. The gaps between them have increased, and I hear this will continue till they peter out eventually, that'll rock for sure. Not pleasant sensation in ones body, mind n spirit....

    That's probably enough from me. Taking it slow n easy. Being real clear with folks that Im not drinking (sometimes repeatedly) and won't have it in the house, boundary up. Think that's scared a few participants away but the trusty ones respect n support it / come over anyways. I'm not really a groups person by nature, so perhaps I'm lucky with that. I also dig a good cuppa...

    Have a good turning of the wheels year all!! Look after selves....
    Thanks...
    0 x

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