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  • Alcohol turns me into a monster

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Mon Dec 02, 2019 8:51 am

    Alcohol turns me into a monster

    Mon Dec 02, 2019 9:38 am

    Admitting you have a problem is never easy.

    Hi everyone, I am a mum in her thirties. I pride myself on being such a good mother to my children. I also think I’m a pretty good wife (most of the time). I have a great job, have some good friends around and enjoy getting outdoors to the beach or fishing whenever we can. I study part time too, I’m a great cook and enjoy creating cakes for friends and family. Sounds pretty normal right?

    But, there’s a problem. When I get the occasional chance to get out which is not very often, I binge drink & turn into an absolute horrible person towards my husband.

    I have no self control and black out. I get verbally abusive and make some really poor choices. Quite simply, I am so ashamed of the person I become. I know it’s not me.

    My husband and I have some unresolved issues regarding his verbal attacks and insults on me when we have a disagreement. I guess I internalise that pain and it comes flooding out when I get drunk. No excuse though for my behaviour.

    I know I have a problem. I want to be the best version of my self all the time. Even if I have a few wines after work I get depressed and down so it’s not doing me any good at all. When I have cut it out before I have so much energy and am happy.

    Looking to reach out for support. I want to ditch the alcohol completely this time, forever.

    Thanks for listening.
    1 x
    User avatar
    Senior Member
    Posts: 206
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:54 pm

    Re: Alcohol turns me into a monster

    Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:12 pm

    Welcome @Mumlife101 and thanks for your post.

    You're absolutely right - it's never easy, and posting can take a lot of courage so well done on taking this step! You're certainly not alone in having a mostly normal life and family life, but having probles with what you called binge drinking.

    Sounds like you're feeling strong about drinking being not being good for you, with even in small amounts effecting your mood, and it's inspiring to hear how determined you are :)

    How are you doing this week with your goal?
    You also might find this activity about making a plan for social events helpful?

    Looking forward to hearing an update :)
    0 x
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sat Dec 07, 2019 4:10 pm

    Re: Alcohol turns me into a monster

    Sat Dec 07, 2019 6:00 pm

    It's so hard to give up alcohol when our culture revolves around alcohol being part of celebrations and catch ups. I am a mother as well. There's alcohol abuse on both sides of my family which made me a higher risk of being an alcoholic. I only recently started drinking alcohol again after 10 months of sobriety. It's a constant battle.
    0 x
    Senior Member
    Posts: 133
    Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2019 4:12 pm

    Re: Alcohol turns me into a monster

    Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:37 am

    hi @P@Ph03n1x

    Welcome to the forum.

    Thank you for seeking support, it takes a lot of strength and courage to look for help.

    Please read through stories that interest you and please share your experiences with other forum members.

    Take care and all the best.

    0 x

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