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  • Knowing I need help more than wanting it.

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sat Dec 05, 2020 10:27 am

    Knowing I need help more than wanting it.

    Sat Dec 05, 2020 10:39 am

    I haven’t slept properly in months. The last few weeks or even months feel like a massive blur. Between passing out because of Alcohol intoxication, benzos, GHB and staying awake for days on MDMA, Meth, Cocaine, anything I can take I will.

    I haven’t been sober for more than 2 days since May, I thought I had it handled since I had a job and compared myself to some people who are a lot worse off than me, but I don’t ever want to be that bad. I want to learn to control it because I don’t want to miss out on fun, but I feel like as soon as I have a drink it’s going to turn into an ice bender. I don’t want to lose my friends, but I know I’ll be able to seek it out if I need to

    I don’t know if I only want to stop abusing stimulants, if I just need sleep. But my body feels like it’s shutting down Going to a GP today, just wondering if there’s any chance I could see some form of a healthy balance between having fun with party drugs here and there and having a “normal” life. I just am always looking for something to do
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    Community Builder
    Posts: 78
    Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2020 9:04 am

    Re: Knowing I need help more than wanting it.

    Sat Dec 05, 2020 2:02 pm

    Hey [mention]angie23[/mention] thanks for reaching out and joining the forums. It takes a lot of bravery to join and post, so good on you.
    It does sound like you've been through a tough time lately so good on you for seeing your GP today. I hope the appointment went well.
    I hope the forums provide you with some advice/strategies/assistance to achieve your goals.
    What's motivating you to make these changes? I'd love to hear about your "why"
    Remember we have a 24/7 webchat if you ever want to speak to a counsellor about everything.
    We are here for you and so are all the forum members.
    Take care, @angie23,
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    Community Builder
    Posts: 191
    Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2019 12:59 pm

    Re: Knowing I need help more than wanting it.

    Sat Jan 16, 2021 7:29 pm

    HI [mention]angie23[/mention] ,

    It's been a while since we've heard from you here at Counselling Online. How have things been going?

    It sounded like you were in the process of starting to think about making a change, but weren't quite there yet. Like you had one foot in and one foot out. Change is like that, there are probably lots of reasons you want to continue using - your substance use has a purpose after all. But also some reasons you want to make a change.

    It's a tricky and confusing spot to be in, but it's also super normal. Heck, I bet lots of people here in this forum have experienced similar thoughts.

    We'd love to hear more about your journey, and where your at with it all now so reach out some time!

    - HelpfulBee
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    Peer Worker
    Posts: 99
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Knowing I need help more than wanting it.

    Mon Jun 07, 2021 8:43 pm

    Hey @angie23 ..........I wonder if you're still visiting the forums???

    Has there been any change since you posted this?

    If not..........is there anything we can do to help?

    If you're out there let me know as there's a lot to your post to respond to. I stayed trapped in addiction for much longer than I care to acknowledge because of the amount of time I knew I needed help but just didn't want to make the necessary changes.

    Is anyone else who read this feeling the same?
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