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Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2021 5:42 pm
I’m just after peoples advice on making friends in sobriety. I know that in leaving my old life behind I had to let go of the friends I had from that world as well. I used for many years so unfortunately didn’t really make any friends along the way that where clean. I have made a friend at work but she lives almost 2 hours away. I would like to make some friends locally but I wouldn’t even know where to start. I don’t even know if my anxiety would allow me to meet new people. I guess I’m just feeling a bit lonely these days and I don’t want the boredom bug to come hit ‘me. Any advice tips much appreciated
Re: Making friends
Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2021 5:59 pm
@Katiee you've touched on a very important topic for many in sobriety. Moving forward many times also involves leaving behind friends or certain social circles.
Have you thought of activities you could join as a strategy to meet people or perhaps volunteering? What kind of hobbies do you have?
@Deyfhob has expressed he's also been experiencing this exact same situation as you.
@ScorpionPW any advice on what has worked for you in this regard?
Re: Making friends
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2021 2:32 pm
It's a great question and an important thing to explore @TheDees.
A really important part of my recovery was discovering which friends I could keep in my life and who I had to cut out (which was really hard and painful with some people). It was the people who could do other things with me, like get a coffee instead of go to the pub. Also the people that didn't try to convince me that getting into recovery wasn't the right thing and that "I was being brainwashed", that "I should be able to control it".
This left a big void because I had to let go of people whom I thought would be life long friends. The remedy for this for me was attending peer groups and surrounding myself with a recovery community. It was essential for me to make new, healthy connections and if I didn't have that supportive environment around me I don't think I would have stayed in recovery for very long.
Another thing that really helped me was a creative outlet. Writing and recording music was such a huge part of my recovery in the beginning, having somewhere to put all of the excess energy left over from stopping using.
I know you're a bit further along your journey now @Katiee, it would be great to know what places you have found new connections and overcome loneliness on your journey?