Introduce yourself here - lived experience

[Jack23]

hi [mention]Gibson76[/mention]

Welcome to the forum.

Using alcohol as a reward for a hard days/weeks work is a strong part of our culture. If you are feeling that you are drinking too much and it is getting to be a problem, then looking for different ways to reward yourself is the way to go.

As you mentioned, it is about taking the time to think about the things you really enjoyed or used to enjoy or would like to do, and taking some time and effort into putting those activities in place.

Some suggestions - sport, exercise, musical instrument, art, classes, group activities, etc.

Please continue posting.

All the best.
jack23

[Skwarli]

Hi Im Nikki
I do wire wrapped jewellery as well as art.
My inspiration is my kids. I have an 11yo girl and a 1yo boy. Im 42yo and I have an ice addiction. Today, well yesterday, it finally destroyed my marriage. I need help. I want to change. I dont know how

[Jack23]

hi Nikki [mention]Skwarli[/mention]

Welcome to the forum.

It takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out for help.

Please share your experiences with other forum members and hopefully you will find the information and support you are looking for.

Take care
Jack23

[Quietaddiction]

Hi everyone

I know I have an addiction, it's easy to get and when I have it I can't stop, works tomorrow no worries just one more. I guess I'm chasing the feeling.

Single and I know I'm a little lonely, I have lots of friends but I hide it well. It's not healthy and I know this but I just want that feeling of the high while I can connect to music and be by myself.

Not sure what this forum will do but it's a start.

[Melody12]

Welcome Quietaddiction,

this forum is a great place for people to talk about their stories of recovery as well as some of their struggles. The members are very supportive and this forum provides a safe place for people to share their challenges.

It takes courage to share personal information and we look forward to your contribution.

Cheers,
Melody12

[Prncss]

Hi my names prncss. My husband and myself have been smoking ice for almost 13 years only been full on smokers for the last 7 years after losing my brother in-law in a drinking accident under really bad circumstances. After seeing the crash site and his dead body on the ground we both have ptsd and anxiety disorders. And found the only way to relieve them symptoms was to use. I have also had my husband in ICU 3 times after attempted suicide. And since been arrested for drug related crimes had our kids taken from us they now live with my parents and are doing good. They are healthy (my daughter has type 1 diabetes) and happy. After that we got kicked out of my husband's family home of 37 years and had 6 hours to move out lost all our belongings then been moving around a lot in hotels and friends place. I haven't been able to hold down a job as always wanting to get high so take time off or to hung over to go. My husband has work related injuries so wasn't allowed to work. We now have a stableish house and my husband has done a course in logistics as he can go back to work. I currently studying cert 3 in business but haven't been going due to getting into the drugs again. We both know we have to stop to get anything better in life. We go threw the withdrawals and anxiety every fortnight but as soon as payday comes we give in a get that dam drug and do it all over again. We have gone a few months before with out it but we find the. Lonelyness is what pushes us back to it as every person we know are addicts as well. Would like to see how other people have gotten passed that

[Prncss]

hi trying so hard I'm hoping that you are conquering your demon. I'm trying after 12 years and losing myself and everything I loved and cherished. What have you been trying. I need to change my life completely but don't know how or what to try

Hi I'm new here
I'm 36 ,addicted to meth
I just wanted to let a few thoughts out

Everybody has things they don't like about themselves , including me.
We all think things like
"Wish I was skinnier "
"I hate how short I am"
"I suck at that,wish I was better"

Personally I'd like a set of better legs and I suck at folding washing and playing poker.
I wish I'd made better choices sometimes and I don't like that I'm almost 40 now and still have nothing like a grown up should. A house with nice things, ring on my finger by a man who loves me, 2.5 kids and 10 sausage dogs. The perfect family dream lol.

I'm so sad because I know I almost had it all and what I did have was a dream to me. I was genuinely happy and secure there for a bit and life was good.
I'm devastated that it was taken from me , I was heartbroken ,completely lost and everything changed in a instant.
Life then became too hard to deal with in my head and I can admit it . I thought "screw this!!" And I broke down.
I broke down big time.
And I started using .

I'm so angry because i let myself fall , let my failures and fears become my demons and follow a path which led me to bad situations and I let myself become that word we all shudder when we hear...... An addict.
I hate that word so much.
So disappointed that I let a stupid substance (whatever it was at the time) become my warm blanket to hide in rather than take life on like a proper person.
I'm so sorry to the ones I let down, gave up on or blocked out. i just didn't want to hear anything anymore and knew I couldn't handle the reality of what I'd lost or had to do.
So I didn't listen.
I just blocked it out in anyway that I could to make it silent.

I turned into someone I didn't like for a while and even tho I'm much better and so proud of where I am at this point I think I'm still waiting for the real me to reappear one day.

Ive accepted that addiction changes you, people are stupid if they don't realise that.Its a disease and its forever and its the biggest battle that no-one can understand unless they live it and to those who judge me or anyone else about something they know nothing about I say...
"You people will never have a happiness like I will when I finally can say I'm all better now and Ive won my war.
Wont it will suck to be you that day? lol . "

I've also met some amazing people and their stories give me the belief it can be beaten but also the understanding of just how much can be lost or destroyed.
It really is a war and not everyone makes it.
But please keep fighting everyone.
Don't ever give up.
I can't give up, it's just not who I am.
I'm fighting day by day.
But I still give in to it and I don't know how I can make my brain see.... this stuff is evil.

Someone asked me " are you happy within yourself?"

Deep down at the core of me with all the bullshit gone.
Ive thought about it and my answer is
yes I really am.
I'm always give it a go and try my best which is all I can do.
I move through life always with the faith in power of good.
I stuff up but I actually learn and always strive for better.
I'm caring and love to help others just for the sake of it.
I give when I can and always appreciate the importance of every thing can help whether big or small.
All in all
I really do like being me
I'm awesome the way that I am and that's that
although I'd be more awesome with a caramel frappe and a ferrari....just saying lol.
Hang in there everyone , we are doing alright
Happy Monday xx

[Prncss]

hi poison Ivy I'm trying to kick the habit to and the thing that get me is the loneliness and my family and friends judging me and not offering support. Would like to connect with people that understand.

Hello everyone,
I enjoyed reading the introductions, so thank you! Hello I’m Poison Ivy ... I’m female, single, no children and I struggle with an addiction to crystal meth. My drug addiction doesn’t define me as a person, it’s just one aspect of my life , and I would very much like to change it so it no longer has a place in my life at all. I wanted to connect with others who know the struggles, the judgement, the abandonment, the isolation and loneliness of addiction. So I don’t have to feel like I’m on my own all the time.

Thank you for reading
Ps I love painting and my dog

[Prncss]

hi I did post earlier but forgot to say my hobbies and they are photography and crafts like knitting and crochet and stuff like that I colour as well. I want to start working out would like to be that person
that goes for a run for fun.

[Melody12]

Hi Prncss,
Great hobbies, I am thinking you have a wide variety of things that can be great to sink your teeth into. You mentioned you were keen to start running, run for fun, let us know how that goes for you.

Melody12

[Simply me]

Heylo folk,

This is kinda embarassing because today I didn't reach my goals with this work, so feel a bit of a dag introducing myself now, but here goes. I guess I figured most, if not some, of you would get that, and I feel I am generally moving forward. I am aiming to moderate my alcohol intake, and doing well most days with it. 2-4 standard drinks 2-3 days a week, 4 days abstinence = goal. Sounds so anal, I never even knew what a standard drink was eh! So, anyhows, went over today. Bigger picture tomorrow I pick up and reset.

Eagles when they are riding on the thermals see the broader landscape, so trying to maintain similar outlook, although hit some turbulence....

I found abstinence wasn't working for me, so giving this way a shot. This has been some 20 or more years of a journey for me, starting with binge drinking to avoid traumatic memories. Followed by working on processes. I have gone years at a time without booze, but does seem to return. Trying to manage the intensity of that in the now...

May we all be the Eagles inside....

[Cat7]

Hey [mention]Simply me[/mention]
Welcome to the forum. I love the eagle analogy, your perspective is very refreshing and I think lots of people on here can relate to it too. The journey is all about finding whats going to work for how your currently going, and this can be such a hard process. So well done on continuing the journey, keep reaching out for support and good luck with your current goals.

I look forward to hearing more from you.

Cat7

[apples123]

Hi.
Day 43 off ice... i think i should be happy but this week, I've felt very low. Last week friends and family said i was very bubbly and happy and brighter... and i felt different, like "happy" but this week I've got a horrible gut feeling that something might happen or ill relapse....
My tongue and mouth are still cut up and my teeth are grinding... and i dont know why...
Any advice?

[Cat7]

Hey [mention]apples123[/mention]
Well done on getting so far it really is a massive effort. I think everyone has there ups and downs, and to be kind to yourself when your having a low week is important.

Its normal to worry about something happening like a relapse because you have worked so hard, and it might have been your old way of coping but now things are different. Focus on what has gotten you through so far, lean on your supports and keep looking towards your goals and future. Others on here might have some other suggestions that have worked for them when thinking this way?

Take care
Cat7

[apples123]

Thank you @[mention]Cat7[/mention]

I am still living in the same unit where me and my ex smoked but I'm moving next week - can't come quick enough... I think I'm anxious but excited to start fresh.
It was an emotional abusive relationship so the last 43 days has been really really hard... police, court, avos and admitting to my family I had a problem.

My goal is to reach 50 days... then 60 days....
Start fresh in a new house, get my kids back and smile.