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  • Do I stay or do I go?

    For friends and family of people with substance problems. Connect with others here to share support and advice today.
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed May 13, 2020 7:26 pm

    Do I stay or do I go?

    Wed May 13, 2020 7:33 pm

    I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s asked the question. Feeling like I can’t talk to the people in my life because I know they will say I should leave and that reality is hard to swallow.
    Sitting out the front in my car because my partner is drinking tonight. Again. Don’t want to be here. Don’t want to go to family because the thought of explaining it is too much.
    I want to leave. I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I’m done. I’ve put 7 years in. He’s my absolute favourite person, the best person I’ve met. He’s my best friend and man do I love him. How do I let go of the guilt, the worry, the wanting to support him. How do I leave?
    I know I need to leave for me. I know that’s the best decision. But I get paralysed by the fear of losing my best friend and feel so incredibly sad for what he’s life is going to look like without me and let’s be real I feel responsible for him.
    0 x
    Posts: 47
    Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2019 12:52 pm

    Re: Do I stay or do I go?

    Thu May 14, 2020 9:19 am

    Hi Ally22,

    Welcome to the forums. It's great to have you here.

    I'm one of the moderators for this community. What you have described, sounds very challenging to go through. When you're talking about one part of you knows it's right to leave and the other part wants to stay and take care of him, this is a very normal response. The things you're going through are confusing and sound like an emotional roller coaster. I'm wondering what supports you have in your life? I see you don't feel comfortable talking with your family. There are free counselling services that can help with what you're going through. You can access a referral through a GP or contact your local drug and alcohol counselling services.

    Have a look around the forums as there is lots of helpful posts and blogs on similar concerns.

    Take care,
    0 x
    Junior Member
    Posts: 18
    Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2020 9:04 am

    Re: Do I stay or do I go?

    Fri Sep 04, 2020 2:32 pm

    Hey @Ally22
    I thought I would check in with you and see how you are going with everything
    Have you found anything useful or interesting on the forums?
    Remember we have a webchat available 24/7 and family/friends are able to get support there too!
    - its open 24/7 and it's staffed by drug and alcohol counsellors
    Take care :)
    0 x
    Junior Member
    Posts: 5
    Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2020 3:19 pm

    Re: Do I stay or do I go?

    Fri Sep 04, 2020 7:37 pm

    Are you still here?
    I'd like to chat with you about the situation if you are.
    0 x
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2020 8:19 pm

    Re: Do I stay or do I go?

    Sat Sep 05, 2020 1:44 pm

    And this is my next problem .. exactly the same . I will be watching your replies .. it’s another tough gig this one xxx
    0 x
    Posts: 89
    Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2019 4:27 pm

    Re: Do I stay or do I go?

    Sat Sep 05, 2020 3:21 pm

    Hi @Ally22 , I am Melody one of the moderators. I can see in an earlier post you wanted to chat with a moderator. Wanting to chat with someone sounds like it would be beneficial for you as well as supportive.

    I am going to revisit some info supplied by previous moderators which I think may be helpful -

    [*]You can obtain free counselling services by obtaining a referral through a GP or contact your local drug and alcohol counselling service,
    [*]As well this forum has lots of helpful posts and blogs on similar concerns.
    [*]If immediate support is something you would find helpful Counsellingonline has a webchat service available which is 24/7 where family/friends are able to get support - its a 24/7 service staffed by drug and alcohol counsellors.

    I hope this information helps and please continue to post and let us know how you are going.
    Warm Regards,
    0 x
    User avatar
    Junior Member
    Posts: 14
    Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2020 9:54 pm

    Re: Do I stay or do I go?

    Fri Sep 11, 2020 4:39 pm

    Hi @Kate58 and @Fossilize

    We haven't heard from the original poster in a while, but I noticed you were both interested in this topic. Is there anything either of you would like to share around this subject?
    We're non-judgmental and always happy to listen.

    Hope you're both well...
    0 x

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