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Do I stay or do I go?

Posted: Wed May 13, 2020 7:33 pm
by Ally22
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s asked the question. Feeling like I can’t talk to the people in my life because I know they will say I should leave and that reality is hard to swallow.
Sitting out the front in my car because my partner is drinking tonight. Again. Don’t want to be here. Don’t want to go to family because the thought of explaining it is too much.
I want to leave. I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I’m done. I’ve put 7 years in. He’s my absolute favourite person, the best person I’ve met. He’s my best friend and man do I love him. How do I let go of the guilt, the worry, the wanting to support him. How do I leave?
I know I need to leave for me. I know that’s the best decision. But I get paralysed by the fear of losing my best friend and feel so incredibly sad for what he’s life is going to look like without me and let’s be real I feel responsible for him.

Re: Do I stay or do I go?

Posted: Thu May 14, 2020 9:19 am
by SnowGlobe88
Hi Ally22,

Welcome to the forums. It's great to have you here.

I'm one of the moderators for this community. What you have described, sounds very challenging to go through. When you're talking about one part of you knows it's right to leave and the other part wants to stay and take care of him, this is a very normal response. The things you're going through are confusing and sound like an emotional roller coaster. I'm wondering what supports you have in your life? I see you don't feel comfortable talking with your family. There are free counselling services that can help with what you're going through. You can access a referral through a GP or contact your local drug and alcohol counselling services.

Have a look around the forums as there is lots of helpful posts and blogs on similar concerns.

Take care,
SnowGlobe88
Moderator