Welcome to our online peer support community. Connect with others making change in their alcohol and other drug use. Join our online community today.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Anonymous. Professionally moderated. Free of judgement.

    Join us Mondays at 8pm - 10pm AEST for Monday Meetup.

    Your posts will automatically appear live on the forum.
  • This is my story

    For friends and family of people with substance problems. Connect with others here to share support and advice today.
    Boloum
    Junior Member
    Posts: 11
    Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2020 4:06 pm

    This is my story

    Sat Oct 24, 2020 4:38 pm

    My husband has been addicted to valium since he was in his 20s. He is 47 now. In between then and now he has also been addicted to Es, Coke, pain killers and at one stage he was eating poppy heads.
    He has cheated on me in a drug fueled daze and has been hard to live with.
    We have 2 children. 7 and 6. Es and coke were before kids.
    The pain relief pills Endone Panadeine forte started when the 7 year old was born
    He added the poppy heads when the 6 year old was born and that lasted about 6 months.
    He carried on with main meds thanks to our shit Dr. And mixing Drs.
    He went on to increasing his valium shit loads through various gps.
    And then buying pain meds off random people.
    He started on tramadol and others like it.


    Adding to this a serious drinker who would binge for days with the help of the pills lifting him up and down and god knows what.
    He started to cut down.
    He stopped drinking.
    And tried to cut down on the tramadol

    In December he had heart failure and nearly died.
    He was in hospital after it complaining of a sore shoulder and got prescribed Endone. Again. So it started all over again.
    He had a defib and pacemaker put in and came home.
    I told the hospital of his history and they reduced his pills.
    He came home wanting to come off them. And managed for a while until lockdown #1 .
    He got heavily addicted again and it was disgusting. And scary.
    With help from a new gp at his clinic, the other one had left. I managed to get the whole clinic involved including the receptionist one day when I really needed intervention.
    He is still taking valium. And very occasionally take the fucking tramadol.

    Why have I stayed?
    I love him.
    Dearly!

    (Yes I'm a dick head)

    It's only this year that I have been able to explain to him how things are from.my side. Now that he has more clarity and care for me and the kids and his own life.
    And so I am taking every opportunity to tell him.and being so open with him now that he will listen.
    He is not getting help himself though and it's that that Is really hard for me.


    I've finally found a counsellor that I can get on with and he has helped me a lot in learning how to express myself.

    Thanks for listening.
    1 x
    User avatar
    tacocat
    Community Builder
    Posts: 105
    Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2020 9:54 pm

    Re: This is my story

    Sat Oct 24, 2020 5:29 pm

    Hi [mention]Boloum[/mention]

    Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.
    I just wanted to take a minute to welcome you here and let you know you're amongst friends.
    I'm hoping our community, along with your counsellor can provide the support you need to get through this.

    Please stay in touch.
    0 x
    Starlee
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2020 10:52 pm

    Re: This is my story

    Sun Oct 25, 2020 7:27 pm

    [mention]Boloum[/mention]
    Thanks for sharing your story. You are not a dickhead for staying, at least if you were to leave you know you’ve tried everything and no one can ever say you didn’t try to help or didn’t give it time etc. that’s a long time to go through all of that. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you and the roller coaster of ups and downs it’s been. Sending you strength. Look after yourself x
    1 x
    Boloum
    Junior Member
    Posts: 11
    Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2020 4:06 pm

    Re: This is my story

    Sun Oct 25, 2020 9:55 pm

    Thank you.
    I am here just to have others to talk to. I prefer writing things down. I need more support. My therapist is great but it's hard to get in to him. I have told some friends of the situation but they are starting to pull away. Or have their own issues going on at the moment. Or don't want to have anything to do with us as a family because of it I guess. So I've shot myself in the foot by opening up to them really.
    So I'm pretty lonely.
    0 x
    Koala_85
    Moderator
    Posts: 83
    Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2019 11:19 am

    Re: This is my story

    Mon Oct 26, 2020 2:32 pm

    Hi Boloum,

    Koala_85 here (one of the moderators on the forum).

    Well done on reaching out. Everyone has their own story and you've shown a lot of strength in accessing our forum to share yours with us.

    Keep staying strong and look forward to your future posts :)

    Regards,

    Koala_85.
    0 x
    HelpfulBee
    Community Builder
    Posts: 189
    Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2019 12:59 pm

    Re: This is my story

    Sat Nov 07, 2020 11:44 am

    Hi [mention]Boloum[/mention] ,

    It sounds like you've been on quite the journey with your husband - lots has happened over a long time.

    It's so great that you're working on communicating how you feel, this can be really hard to do, but is so important.

    I'm wondering if you could share some information on the following, as I think that there would be lots of people who would benefit from hearing more about your experiences:
    • What are the benefits you've found from communicating your feelings and thoughts with your husband?
    • What sort of communication skills and strategies have been helpful?
    • When things were hard, how did you get through? What sort of strategies were helpful during those times? What sort of self-care did you do?
    It's absolutely fine if you couldn't answer all of these questions, but it sounds like you've really made strides in your journey, and your experiences and learning may help someone else here! :D

    Looking forward to hearing more,

    HelpfulBee
    0 x
    Lady Bug
    Community Builder
    Posts: 152
    Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2019 10:49 am

    Re: This is my story

    Mon Dec 07, 2020 6:32 pm

    Hi [mention]Boloum[/mention]

    Just checking in to see how you are going with everything
    Has there been any changes over the past few months?
    Sending you positive vibes
    0 x

    Return to “Friends and family”