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  • Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    A place for community rundowns, special events and announcements from Counselling Online forums facilitation team.
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 324
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Nov 11, 2021 8:26 pm

    Hello and I hope your Thursday has been a good one……….I’m really looking forward to the weekend!! It’s not gonna be great weather here in Melbourne but I’ll have my daughter with me so that’s always a bonus.

    I think it’ll be some indoor activities so it’ll be bowling one day and maybe even the movies the next. It’s been some time since we’ve been able to do this stuff so there is a bit of adjustment to go through as well. I know I’ve been walking around outside without a mask and feeling like I’m doing something wrong. I’ve found interactions with others interesting too. I was at the shops on the weekend and found myself being really self conscious about how close I was standing to others………..but I also found that some people were being really protective of their space too and although there was a feeling of freedom around it was tinged with some trepidation and fear at times.

    I really struggled towards the end of lockdown and found thoughts of using much more prominent that usual………..and it was all about escaping boredom. Even after six years I still have thoughts at times………it goes with the fact that I’m an alcoholic and an addict…………but usually they’re easily dismissed. This last lockdown was just different. Somehow I felt like I’d lost contact with people and in some ways was losing contact with myself. I wonder if anyone else can relate to that thought???

    I’d just lost the structure and routine I’ve worked so hard to get into place over the years. Now that I can start getting back to that it is bringing with it new fears…………or are they old fears that I thought I’d buried resurfacing?? I put on this brave face all the time and try to send a message of positivity through here all the time but the truth is that sometimes I struggle as well.

    So I feel like I’m emerging from the cocoon a bit and it brings with it some excitement too. I’ve heard it shared that fear and excitement are essentially the same emotion……….it just depends on your perspective of the situation. They both bring distinct nerves for me, I know that much.

    So yeah, we’ll start simple this weekend with the bowling and the movies……….maybe actually eat some dinner out on Saturday night. As it’s raining I’ll encourage that we put away screens and devices and try to do some painting or other craft type things. I’ll see what my daughter thinks because she’s the ideas person when it comes to that’s. But then again it may not rain all day like it seems to be predicted. I’ve made that mistake too many times of late. Thinking it’s going to rain all day but it doesn’t and then feeling like I wasted a great opportunity at the end of the weekend.

    So maybe I’ll just try and remember to take each day as it comes………..and keep it simple.

    What’s your plan???
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 406
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Nov 11, 2021 8:46 pm

    hey @PnorkelPW I totally agree with you about the end of lock-down dredging up a lot of emotions. It is a very strange feeling being out after the past two years, and I imagine a lot of people will understand where you're coming from with how the end of lock down has triggered cravings

    @WildeReformed @coda @Bunnycode @Tryingeveryday @awiepoc @JoelD @KathleenRose80 @PhoenixBlack @Chig @Comingclean
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 324
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Nov 18, 2021 8:27 pm

    Another Thursday...............what's on for your weekend?

    I'm just sitting here reflecting on how much pressure plays a role in my urges. I say pressure but I feel like maybe lately it's been stress............is there a difference?

    I'm a perfectionist with OCD tendencies so most of the time the pressure I feel is a result of my own doing. My own thoughts. My own expectations of self. This might sound weird but I use my perfectionism to procrastinate at times and at other times my procrastination is a result of my perfectionism. I have this expectation that I should be able to figure everything out and get it right first time. I know that's not the case deep down but my head tells me a different story and sometimes it can be hard to redirect.

    At the start of the week I was feeling extremely overwhelmed with a number of things in my life and the only way to work through them was to keep fronting up each day and doing the best I can. As I sit here now on Thursday night that pressure has subsided...........because I've pushed through and crossed things off the list. I've addressed some of the issues that were plaguing me and will continue to work through others. As the week has gone on I've started to breathe easier. The thoughts of wanting to use external solutions have subsided and I'll walk into the weekend feeling a whole lot better.

    I guess what I'm saying is that this has been a tough week and tough weeks will continue to happen. It's possible to work through them though to get to the point that the pressure isn't so great and you feel light and happy again.

    Time is a great healer...............how have you got through your week?
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 406
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Nov 18, 2021 8:56 pm

    @PnorkelPW your posts are always so insightful. what you're talking about regarding recognising and learning to manage internal and external stressors is so important and I imagine a lot of people on the forum would relate to what you've been feeling.

    @weary_heart_restless_soul @NewHope @Sweetstuff @Scubak @mylesduffy @Simply me @jarrodm how are you all travelling?
    1 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 324
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Nov 25, 2021 8:37 pm

    Thanks @Lhiver .......today's is a bit reflective too. I just started writing and this is what flowed. I :lol: "hope" you like it
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 324
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Nov 25, 2021 8:38 pm

    Thursday Check-in…………sometimes I wonder if anyone is reading. Then I remind myself that it doesn’t matter. Someone might read it and that’s all that matters. I’ll just hope someone does and that maybe they get something from the words on the page.

    Hope is an interesting thing…………you can’t touch it but you can see it. I see hope in other people and it’s part of what helped me turn my life from addiction to recovery. Seeing other people who had achieved what I wanted to achieve and started to live a life without drugs or alcohol. In addiction I lost hope but then I found it again. Hope is a state of mind. If you don’t believe in it or you stop looking for it, you’re unlikely to ever find it. If you can just keep believing in yourself or believing that you want a better life you can find hope.

    Blind faith and belief can be difficult to maintain and that’s what the addiction wants to take from you. It wants you to believe that you’re not capable of change and you’ll never be able to live life any differently. The fact is though………….everyone is capable of change. It comes down to the choices you make. One good decision cam give you hope and prove that you’re able to do things differently. Even if you don’t manage to maintain that change it’s a sign that you can do it. From there it’s a about learning how to maintain that change. You never know if just having one more try is going to work. If you keep hoping you’ll keep trying and if you keep trying you can eventually make lasting change.

    I can’t count how many people I’ve spoken with over the years who have suffered in addiction and all but given up hope. Some have given up completely and the sad news is that not everyone makes it through once they lose hope. But I’m here to tell you there is hope. You know how I know???? I know because of the countless people I’ve spoken to who have achieved change. I know because these people are still here to talk to even though they came close to giving up all hope. Life can seem hopeless at times but if you can just keep believing that change is eventually possible then there is a better life out there for you.

    You can find hope by sharing here on the forums, by just reading what’s on here, by talking to other people who are trying to turn their lives around. Hope exists in SMART Recovery meetings, at NA and AA meetings. Hope exists in your drug and alcohol counsellors office, on the end of the phone when talking to DirectLine or another counselling service. Hope exists if you can just keep believing in it even when things seem like they couldn’t get any worse. Hope exists when you wake up the next day saying “I’m never doing this again”.

    Today I hope I can stay in recovery. I hope others can find recovery. I hope others can find hope. I hope I can keep evolving, that the world is a better place for my daughter to grow up in, that friends and family are safe. I hope I can sell my car, I hope the possums don’t wake me up tonight, I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow. I hope all sorts of things…………….I hope that one day I might be able to sing.

    Remember just because you can’t touch it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. There is hope for you. What are you hoping for???
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 406
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Nov 25, 2021 9:26 pm

    how's everyone tracking as we get close to the weekend?

    @Betterme1 @treble @Lubly @Ralphie @Eli7 @vanillabunny @Bothango
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 324
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Dec 02, 2021 8:26 pm

    Happy Thursday all………..I can’t believe that we’re in December already and another year is almost over. It’s been a tough two years but we’re coming through the other side and we’ve done it by just getting through each day……………it’s just like trying to stop using……………you just gotta keep fronting up each day and eventually the hard part will be over.

    This year has had some very challenging moments with a dark period towards the end but it’s another year that will end very soon with a new one to follow. Days tick by and it can sometimes they feel like there’s no end in sight………but they do end. When you’re in the early days of detoxing it can feel like it will never end. It feels easier to give up and keep using rather than fight through it to get to the other side. But it will end. It will get easier. There will be tough times to come………….and if you take it a day at a time you can get through it.

    Why waste another year using when you really don’t want to? Why wait another day? Start talking to someone who can help you on the path to change, your GP, psych or counsellor. BY starting today or at least starting to prepare today you’re already ahead of where you were going to be. There’s never a “good” time to stop. There’s never a perfect time to stop. A reason to continue using can always be found and justifications will always ring through your head………..but that’s the easy way out and if you take it you’re in for another year of using. Of anger, guilt, shame, remorse and self pity.

    If you’re thinking about making a new Year’s resolution to stop using………….why not start now??? Or at least start planning now.

    @ScorpionPW and I are here to help. If you have any questions, comments or thoughts please tag us and let us know what’s on your mind
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 324
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Dec 16, 2021 8:34 pm

    Thursday again but this one is a bit happier for me. I've been pretty unwell for the last week and a half...........well just extremely tired and there were days where it felt like all I did was sleep. Today is the first day I've really felt a return of my energy. There had been improvement but this is a different feeling. It's like a fog has lifted. The good part about that is that I feel a bit more improvement is on the cards tomorrow too and I'll be close to back to normal. It kinda feels a bit like that day when you're detoxing and have been feeling like crap and then you wake up one day and feel sooooo much better.

    The ups and downs of life are like that and there are periods where life is hard to face. Sometimes it's about retreating until you feel better. Other times it's about soldiering on and pushing through. Eventually the tough stuff passes and things are okay again.

    This weekend is gonna be a bit mixed because i have a Christmas thing with part of my family and it's going to be a drinking session for my brother and his mates. I have a plan though because I'll have my daughter so we'll go for the early part of the afternoon and stay till they start to hit that annoying phase as the grog starts to do it's thing. That'll be my cue to say goodbye because "I have to get my daughter home". It's not my weekend with my daughter but it'll be good for her to see her cousins and I wanted a backup escape plan. Maybe I'll be fine and be comfortable for longer but these boys drink hard.

    Family. Christmas. Booze = Escape plan

    What's your escape plan for when things get tough???
    0 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 324
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Dec 23, 2021 8:25 pm

    I hope you're feeling alright today...........I'm in a weird place right now. I'm excited because tomorrow is my last day of work before a week off but apprehensive because I'm feeling some extra pressure about the week with Christmas and New Year thrown in...........but I'll talk about NYE next week.

    As Christmas has got closer I've become a little more settled because most of the hard stuff is out of the way and I have a plan for the rest. Planning is the key. I usually plan my Christmas Day alone after seeing my daughter in the morning...........that's how I protect myself and I love the solitude on the day. It'll be cool to have her with me this year. In a couple of early years I went to the AA Christmas which was cool but later years I felt the call for the solitude.

    One year I went to a mate's house and that was a big mistake. A boozy Irish Christmas lunch!!! What the hell was I thinking????!!!! Needless to say I did not last long there.

    This year Christmas morning will be spent with my daughter and her mum like every year and then I'll bring my daughter back to my place for a week. Boxing Day we'll head off for the day to see my mum and then a few days to chill and get up to some fun before dropping her off on NYE. My daughter is my security blanket..........always has been through recovery...........but I'd never put the pressure on her of telling her that. Early years I planned time with her because i knew when I was with her I couldn't mess things up. She's still a security blanket these days only I'm armed with more tools to protect my recovery too.

    I've crafted my plan over a number of years.............what's your plan?
    2 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 324
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Dec 23, 2021 9:50 pm

    A shout out to some of those I've chatted with this year and wishing you a safe Christmas

    @Peace Dove
    @Lhiver
    @ScorpionPW
    @Deyfhob
    @initae89
    @Katiee
    @WildeReformed
    @CRAZYGRANNY
    @BonsaiBeginner
    @CaptainKirk
    @tea123
    @teapot
    @Dogmum
    @johnno
    @PhoenixBlack
    @Strugglingmum
    @Tryingeveryday
    @Becoming cynical
    @OceanSky
    @Nugnug
    @CatMumofone
    @Minnie mouse
    @TheDees
    1 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 316
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Dec 23, 2021 11:15 pm

    You too @PnorkelPW, I hope you have a beautiful time with your daughter and it's so nice to hear how she is such a source of strength and security for you.

    For me, Christmas has never been overly sentimental, It's all about my son now and watching his happiness and excitement which as brought more meaning to the day for me.

    I have an uncle who I would always fight with at Christmas because of our difference in worldviews. Since being in recovery though, I have stopped deliberately challenging him, accepted him for who he is and now know which topics of conversation to avoid. As a result, him and I have a great relationship now and he is a really important person in my life now.

    How is everybody else holding up over this time of year?
    1 x
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    teapot
    Moderator
    Posts: 75
    Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2020 2:54 pm

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Sat Dec 25, 2021 7:29 pm

    Happy Christmas @PnorkelPW and to everyone else too!

    Christmas can be a tough one so don't hesitate to reach out here or with a counsellor on the chat service if you need some support ♥
    1 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 324
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Dec 30, 2021 8:23 pm

    Just wanted to check-in with people and see how you're feeling about New Year's Eve tomorrow night? If you have any questions and happen to be on the forums tonight I'll be here till 10pm tonight..............or even if you just want to share some tips or some of your fears about the night I'd be happy to talk about things with you
    1 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 316
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Thursday Check-in - How to stay sober on the weekend

    Thu Dec 30, 2021 10:33 pm

    Hey @PnorkelPW, such a good point and time to reach out and offer support. This can be such a tricky time of year and I think it's important to prepare.
    As for myself, I'll be going out in my hometown of Byron Bay with some close friends, I'll be driving myself and I'll be with my girlfriend so if at any point anything gets a bit much we can leave when we want to and enjoy the atmosphere for as long as we want.
    There's been some new years where I've gone to the parties that one of the 12 step fellowships have put on.
    What's your plans @PnorkelPW?
    0 x

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