Checking in to share my day

[Minnie mouse]

Day 10 no cannabis, yayyy go me! Today I had a face to face counseling session and it went really good. I consented to sharing information about my progress with my employer so fingers crossed I can get back to work soon. He was really happy that I have connected with you guys and practicing strategies like mindfulness, meditation and sharing my story. Understanding and recognizing my triggers has been so good, every day I'm feeling like I've got so much more control over my addiction. I think so far the hardest part was actually admitting to myself that I have a problem with cannabis. The next session will be talking about potential relapses. I was nervous as hell when I first went in but came out feeling relieved, talking with you guys has given me so much confidence so I can be honest about myself with the psychologist.

[Bamboo [facilitator]]

That's fantastic @Minnie mouse 10 days well done! |It's so great to hear that you had a good face to face counselling session You are making really good progress. What are your plans for the rest of the day?

[Xr81]

My days been good. I went out today in the bush. Nice to get away from things.
So often though out of nowhere "get a drink, one wont hurt, you can control it".
But I know I cant stop at one and cant control it. I didnt get one.
I used dope full on for 30 yrs. I wasted enough on it to have bought a house
In the end I realised it was chasing the wind. Trying to get high like the first cone got me yet none of the others that day ever got me there. Yrs wasted getting bent with the wrong slant on life. The people I scored off of and hung around with just for the sake of the dope I cant even believe I was so screwed up to think they were friends.
Good your seeing how much of a waste of life it is.

[Minnie mouse]

Good onya xr81. I love going bush too. I work as a gardener in a rural council so do a fair bit in the bush. It's so wonderful to explore and appreciate our beautiful country, I could spend hours looking for wildflowers or fungi, or just taking in the peacefulness. Such a beautiful distraction from the confusion and thoughts about how the addiction is messing me up.

[Xr81]

Good to hear Minnie. Hang in there and fight to good fight. I every day am driven mad by "come on its ok" by my own head. So much that I think "where is this coming from?" But I know its just my addiction. I would have never thought yrs ago this would be me now. But it is. Today it drove me mad. I was having a good day. But I think I got into the failure/reward syndrome. A bad day, failure, "oh well have a drink" used to be have a bong, or "Wow great day celebrate dude have a drink (or then bong). It was a two edged sword but each side if it did or does damage.
Hang in there Minnie. Better straight than bent.

[Lhiver]

@Minnie mouse , congratulations on this week! It sounds like you're in a really great place at the moment, and have some really good tools in place to keep your on track! Do you have any plans for the weekend?

@Xr81 sometime sit can be really hard to break those negative thought patterns, it's always important to remind yourself that there are ups and downs in any recovery journey and some days are more challenging than others. Do you have any techniques to help break those negative thought patterns?

[Minnie mouse]

@Xr81 I can totally relate to that reward/ punishment. Just a couple of days ago I had a lovely chat with my daughter on the phone, as soon as I hung up I was so happy I found myself wanting to have a joint WTH I didn't though and decided that I was gonna feel that joy, so overwhelming it made me cry. My feelings have been numbed for so long, every emotion seems so intense.

[Minnie mouse]

Hi all, Its been 15 days now since I used cannabis. The last couple of days has been a bit tough. The nightsweats and dreams have been doing my head in, but last night meditation really helped the bad dreams. Still getting the sweats but not sure if it's the dope or menopause Today was a hectic day looking after my 2 yr old grandson for the first time.I was lucky enough to have my other daughter around with her little girl to help out. When they finally left I was feeling pretty strung out and usually would have a joint to calm down. Instead I sat on my comfy new recliner had a cup of sage tea and whole block of lindt chokkylol probably counterproductive but... meh, made another day without the weed. Still not back at work, they are waiting for reports from health professionals before making a decision. Had an online chat here yesterday when I was feeling really crap. It got me out of the moment. Hope you all have doing ok

[Peace Dove]

Hi @Minnie mouse,

Congratulations on reaching Day 15!!!

Sorry to hear the last couple of days have been a bit tough. I'm really glad meditation helped with the bad dreams. Might be worth asking your GP about the sweats.

That's fantastic! Good job! It's ok to be kind to yourself, I bet the lind chokky was worth it. (Now I want one too, lol).

Oh, I hope the reports won't take too long. You've been doing great, and implementing all of these positive changes into your life. Hopefully the reports will show that.

It's great you reached out to the Online Chat. It's fantastic you've got so many supports between your family, counselling, meditation, the forums and accessing services available when you need them.

Minnie, you've been doing such a marvellous job these past two weeks, and I truly hope that you're employer will see that in the reports so you can get back to work soon.

Thank you! And please keep us posted.

[Minnie mouse]

Today I volunteered a urine drug screen test. My doctor suggested I do one to show my employer that I'm being proactive. Its been 17 days since I last had cannabis, I'm a bit nervous of the results but at least I know the level will be lower than my last oral swab. I really hope my employer recognizes that I am serious about stopping cannabis use. They will be contacting my doctor today for feedback, she is happy with my progress. I am too

[teapot]

@Minnie mouse so great to hear about your achievement! Are you noticing any changes in your energy levels and mood now that it's getting out of your system?

[Minnie mouse]

Thanks teapot, I have not been as cranky this week I'm lucky to have a very patient and understanding partner. I'm feeling pretty tired though as my sleep has been pretty crap. I know when I get back to work (I'm a gardener for a rural council) the sleeping will get better. Nothing like a hard day's work for a good sleep.

[Lhiver]

@Minnie mouse , it sounds like you have a lot of really supportive and caring people around you! I totally agree, a hard day
s work sends you right off to sleep! Do you find the work cathartic?

[Minnie mouse]

@Lhiver I love the work I do, literally get to smell the roses lol.

[Minnie mouse]

Feeling frustrated today My employer still hasn't received any reports from my GP and psychologist. It's like the right hand isn't communicating with the left. I signed forms for release of information, boss is waiting for GP to make contact, GP is waiting for boss to make contact. Psych doesn't know what info to give. I just want to go back to work Feels like I'm pushing shit uphill. "deep breaths minnie" My partner says to me kumbaya lol