Another excuse to use I've often told myself is that after a bender, I am so productive.
@initae89 Excuses, justifications, reasons………..they’re all the same. The fact that you recognise it is a great thing
What I always found with the justifications I used was that they weren’t sustainable………nothing about my using life was ever sustainable……….things just went slowly downhill. What I thought was productive was actually far from it………..the crashes turned into negative productivity pretty quickly and the scales were tipped well out of balance
Try writing down the reasons you don’t want to use and when the justifications start presenting in your head read over your list and speak them out loud. See if you can flip your thinking back to not using………this is another delaying technique which you’ve been doing such a great job of implementing so far.
I have to say I’m really enjoying reading your posts……….the early days are so bloody hard. When was the last time you had this many days up??? Journalling is so important to me and I’ve noticed I need to flip my mindset with that every now and then too. Sometimes it’s important for me to look at a day and only write about positives. It can be really easy to end up focused on the negatives and write about the crappy feelings day after day………..how hard it is. Every now and then try to look at what was good about a day………it might be that you were on time for work, that you smiled a couple of times, a nice lunch you ate or maybe it’s just the fact that you were able to work through the cravings. I’ve noticed that you’re already doing that and it’s awesome to read.
Thanks heaps for sharing your journal on here……….you may not realise it now but there will be a lot of people reading this and identifying with what you’re saying. You’re not just helping yourself on here, you’re helping others. The best thing is that these days you’ve written about on here are going to continue to help other people for a long, long time.
I've been telling myself that I want to stay in recovery because I want to stop having to fight so hard to stay in recovery. If that makes sense at all.
I also love this quote of yours……….it really struck me, had me thinking for ages and makes a lot of sense
The early days are sooooo hard and that’s ultimately a part of what inspired me to stay on track. I just didn’t want to put myself through those early days again. Every time I went back into addiction it was harder to pull myself out again and I regretted that decision to use again more than anything. If I’m being completely honest I don’t know if I’ll make it out of another relapse so I’m determined to make the most of this one.
The first week is usually the worst and once you’re through the physical battle it become easier to keep winning the mental battle. Staying in recovery is always a battle but it gets easier over time. It’s great to see that you’re modifying your mindset and simplifying your thoughts about a day at a time. I’m always reminded of the question “How do you eat an elephant?”………….the answer is one bit at a time. Keep taking it day by day and focus on the positives……..you’re doing an amazing job