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  • What caused the relapse?

    This is a space visited by peer workers who have a lived experience of addiction and recovery and is an opportunity to relate to and draw hope from those who have been through similar things as you.
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 99
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    What caused the relapse?

    Thu Jun 10, 2021 9:44 pm

    A bit of a tough topic here but if you can understand what it was you're well on your way to making sure it doesn't happen again.

    I see it all the time.........I did it myself more than a few times. Being adamant that this time I'm serious. This time I'm never using again. No matter what happens I'm never going back to using again..................but it happened again and I was back in the cycle. That's actually what's helped keep me on the straight and narrow this time............knowing that I've made this promise too many times before and every time I was dead serious. I've now learnt from this and will never make the promise that I'll never use again. I can't make that promise. I've proved too many times that I can't keep it. What I can do though is promise myself every morning when I wake up that today I'll do everything I can not to use. It helps take the pressure off and keeps it simple.

    Some poeple think relapse happens when you pick up and use but the relapse happened well before this. It happened when you didn't acknowledge the thought you wanted to use again. When you kept it to yourself and pretended it wasn't happening. Pretended you didn't need to talk about it. Sharing is essential in recovery. It was happening when you started to explore the thought of using and wondering if you could get away with it. When you started to fantasise about what that "just once more" would feel like and trying to convince yourself that you'd be able to control it this time. When you started to think about how you could do it so that no one else would know about it the relapse was well and truly gaining momentum. By now you're probably hanging out with old friends and going to places you said you'd never go to again.........but "you're fine".

    These secret thoughts are the relapse..........you just haven't used yet. Maybe you're heading to the pub every Saturday night but "it's okay because I'm not drinking"............the words of one of my counsellors ring loudly in my head here........"If you sit in a barber's chair long enough you're gonna get a haircut"

    You've weakened your resolve. Life throws a difficult moment at you like a fight with the partner, a hard day at work, missing out on a rental or your centrelink payment doesn't come through. Maybe your train is late one day and that's the final straw or you're having a great day and just have a lapse in concentration and say yes when someone offers. Either way when you finally use you think "f%$# it!! and there's no turning back. So you see the relapse didn't happen when you used.............it had been building for a long time leading up to it.

    So....................what lead to your relapse and what can you learn from it?
    2 x

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