feeling low

[Iwillbeok]

Things have been --- different, new job, new people, not knowing where I fit in. In general things have been going good, but there's still that doubt, that uncertainty!!!!
My husband has been amazing, but he doesn't really understand my role, my unwavering commitment. He sees things more in black and white. His upbringing was harsh, "this is the way it is!", sort of thing.
My emotional responses are hard for him to deal with, my struggles are not insignificant, but, foreign????
We have the same morals and values, but, I don't always feel like I always live up to his expectations/standards.
We were both very much loved, yet he was held up to a much tougher standard, much tougher expectations, always compared, always measuring himself against others.
I come from a more liberal, open, artistic background. opposites attract????? Absolutely, we always come back to US,. But! his initial response is, most times harsh, BUT, from survival instinct.
20 odd years down the track and we still regress to our past experiences, our past behaviours and upbringing..
He explodes, I retreat and try to figure out what has happened. I try to explain, but he is still trying to process what has gone WRONG!
He tries so hard to listen and respond, but, a lot of the time, he still reacts negatively before he thinks of what I am trying to convey.
I love him with all my heart and inside know how much he is trying to support me, I try to let him know, it's just taking time for it to sink in/sync.
Thanks for listening and being here.
Just,,,,,,,,Thank You

[Tired_mummy23]

Thanks for sharing, it’s hard when our significant other doesn’t see eye to eye in the most best of times, I hear more and more stories of women opening up and communicating this behaviour of there loved ones. I feel men in general have a hard time recognising when they’re wrong or admitting even being open to the possibility. Good luck

[PnorkelPW]

Relationships are tricky @Iwillbeok and to get through 20 years is amazing!!

Change can be hard, especially a new job. I always go through a period of anxiety and adjustment which doesn't just affect my worklife. It tends to creep into other areas of life too.

Have you thought about seeing a counsellor or psychologist to help you work through the change process? They might even be able to help with some relationship advice and communication strategies. Even after 20 years we can all keep learning and growing and on that note.............it's not all up to you. Maybe the two of you could look at some relationship/communication help so that you're working together. Relationships are a two-way street and it's not always up to one person to take responsibility.