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  • What would you tell your younger self?

    Gizelle
    Member
    Posts: 33
    Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 9:19 am

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Sun Mar 28, 2021 8:59 am

    Gizele :D
    0 x
    MrsMac72
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sun May 30, 2021 10:25 am

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Sun May 30, 2021 10:43 am

    That you are worthy and important and loved. Take care of your body. Respect it. Love it. Appreciate it. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I am still like this and I am almost fifty. It’s painful, I feel pathetic so I don’t tell anyone anything anymore about the way I feel. It’s a burden.
    3 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 698
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Tue Jun 08, 2021 9:32 pm

    Thank you for sharing this @MrsMac72.

    I can relate big time! I remember for so long, I was so hard on myself and was so good at getting the whip out. Walking through life always seeing something I thought I was doing wrong or only being able to focus on what I should have done differently. I would always feeling shame and this way of thinking would affirm all of the negative self believe I had.

    It wasn't until I was in recovery and I was able to learn how to line my behaviour up with my values that my sense of self and my self esteem started to shift. It still takes practice and somedays are better than others, but most of the time I can be kind to myself and not be so critical of myself.

    I really believe that if nothing changes nothing changes and it takes a lot of consistent effort to shift this stuff.

    Have you found anything that helps you not be so hard on yourself and is there anything you are doing to be kind to yourself at the moment?
    1 x
    CRAZYGRANNY
    Junior Member
    Posts: 11
    Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2021 6:46 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Wed Oct 13, 2021 1:39 am

    At 55 years of age I have only recently been made aware of my broken childhood that progressed into a lifetime of bad decisions and relationships. Never really had the opportunity to reflect on where it all began. I knew my childhood was very abusive and damaging and my parents behaviours and their own childhood brokenness reflected on to my identity as young as I can remember but I unconsciously made a decision not to go back into the memories that scared me. As I moved into each relationship that was a mirror image of what I saw growing up so living in each new dysfunctional relationship became the bigger issue at the time and enough to deal with alone. To be honest it’s only been of recent counseling on trauma that I now have a totally different perspective on how I developed without being aware or helped. I’d forgiven my parents along time ago and reliving these memories have been difficult to say the least. But finally I can see how I envolved to me today and repressing my childhood was ineffective in how it effected every area of my life. The answer is to acknowledge without blame and forgive yourself for what carried out even in my own parenting. It wasn’t my parents fault they did their best from there childhood experiences and knowing that you had no control over this. You were young, innocent and became what you believed to be normal. The key is to heal from your past to be able to move forward effectively and with confidence and self worth knowing it’s never too late to change and have a better future. I would say to my inner child “I love you, you are doing your best and nothing is your fault. Be strong and start really living.
    2 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 698
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Thu Nov 24, 2022 9:16 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this post when I came across it @CRAZYGRANNY...such a good reminder of the importance and power of forgiveness.

    I went through quite a process of learning to forgive my parents as well as my sons mother. Mainly for me as carrying the resentment was harming me more than anybody else and I have since been able to mend these relationships to a really beautiful place.

    It would be great to know how are you're travelling at the moment? :D
    0 x
    User avatar
    qboln
    Junior Member
    Posts: 26
    Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2022 2:49 am

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Fri Nov 25, 2022 12:02 pm

    Pain is temporary. All things change. Self awareness.
    3 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 765
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Thu Feb 02, 2023 9:44 pm

    I can't believe I haven't stumbled across this thread before...............it's been a great read and thank you to all those who shared.

    As a parent these days I feel I talk to my younger self a lot. I share my life experiences with my daughter and when she encounters problems I talk it through with her and tell her how I handled things when I was her age............and what I'd do differently. I've changed a lot over the years and I like to think I've got no regrets because every one of my life experiences has led me to the point I'm at now but there are definitely things I'd do differently.

    I think the one thing I'd tell my younger self is not to care about what other people think. People pleasing was a behaviour that was part of my life for far too long. I was so worried about being left out or laughed at that I never really formed my own identity and I did things because other people were doing them. I liked things because other people liked them. I was afraid to speak up and give my true opinion because I wanted people to like me. That's probably one of the biggest messages I try to get through to my younger self, my daughter. I wasted so much time worrying about what other people think and there's very few that are still part of my life now. Worrying about other kids at school, other people at uni, other people at all the jobs I've worked wasted far too much of my time and energy and caused me far too much anxiety............and depression.

    I've printed and laminated a quote I saw by Rowan Atkinson and put it on my daughter's bedroom wall. It's titled F*ck People......

    F*ck People

    Buy the red car - people will say you should've got blue
    Start a business - people will say you should've got a job
    Get married - people will say you picked the wrong partner
    Learn a trade - people will say you should've gone to college

    Everyone has an opinion about everything.
    You'll go crazy trying to please everyone
    Don't even try

    Listen. Smile. Agree...........and then do whatever the f*ck you were gonna do anyway




    I just love it and although my life has had many ups and downs and mixed experiences I could waste far too much time thinking about things I'd do differently.......................but that's what I'd change if I could go back and that's the lesson I want to pass on to my daughter
    2 x

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