Welcome to our online peer support community. Connect with others making change in their alcohol and other drug use. Join our online community today.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Anonymous. Professionally moderated. Free of judgement.
  • Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Lea12
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Sat May 07, 2022 7:29 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sat May 07, 2022 7:44 pm

    hi, l am a mum of 2, married and my drinking red wine every night is uncontrollable. l drink nearly 2 bottles every night. l'm sick of waking up hungover, going to work feeling crap and l really don't know what it's like to go to sleep/wake sober.
    2 x
    Astraia
    Moderator
    Posts: 37
    Joined: Fri Feb 26, 2021 1:34 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sun May 08, 2022 4:22 am

    @Lea12 Hi Lea, mum of two and courageous person!

    Thank you for giving yourself a chance to start a conversation in this forum. We are glad to see you here.

    I can see that your alcohol intake has become frustrating to you and that you would like to make a change in your life. That is a positive place to be, Lea. Change takes time but it is possible.

    Remember that you are not alone. Once you start getting familiar with the content of this forum, you will see that some of your peers have been in a similar position as yours. This is a great opportunity to learn from them and work on your unique path that will work for you.

    We understand that sometimes it feels as if there is no way out of your situation. However, having the right support by your side is crucial to achieve your goals, Lea!

    This forum is a safe space for you to share your experiences and learn from others. :) Welcome!

    @Lhiver @PnorkelPW @ScorpionPW
    1 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 456
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon May 09, 2022 9:52 pm

    Hi @Lea12 and thanks for sharing with us.

    I remember feeling like that……..there is hope though. I drank that way for many years and eventually ended up drinking from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep. I drank all the time and part of that involved top up drinking and having just enough during the day to keep the ill feeling at bay without tipping me over the edge. In the end, feeling that way all the time was a big part of the reason I started to seek help………..I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

    It started with a conversation with my GP about how much I was drinking and was the start of a journey that lasted another 6 years………..but one where I wish I’d taken the action to stop drinking sooner. I kept thinking that I’d be able to control my drinking and would stop for a period of time and then start again thinking it would be different this time. Every time I started again it got worse. I always thought that one day I’d be able to drink like “normal” people.

    Eventually I ended up in rehab which was the best move I ever made but I wasted many years getting to that point. If I’d been able to make the decision to completely stop drinking earlier I would have saved myself years of anguish, pain and suffering.

    Have you spoken with a drug and alcohol counsellor? They’ll be able to work with you to establish goals and strategies to help you cut down and maybe stop if that’s your goal. I found out the hard way that I’m built differently and that once alcohol hits my system I can’t stop. The only way I can control my drinking is to not start at all.

    Alcoholics Anonymous meetings formed a big part of my recovery too. I found other people who were trying to achieve the same thing I was and I found out that my thinking wasn’t as crazy as I thought it was. There were other people who felt the guilt, shame and remorse I felt all the time and there was a safe space to talk about it.

    What are you trying to do?? Cut down?? Stop completely?? What help is it you’re looking for??

    I’m happy to answer questions or share my experiences. It’s been 6 and a half years since my last drink which is something I thought was impossible. Just tag me in your post and I’ll get a notification to respond.
    2 x
    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 552
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue May 10, 2022 8:48 am

    Good morning everyone! Welcome to the forum our newest members @Minnie123 @BigBird89 and @KittenKryptik

    These forums are here as a safe space for you to find support, connection and advice during recovery.When you feel ready you can introduce yourselves in this thread here.

    If you have any questions you can use the @ symbol to tag myself or our wonderful peer workers @ScorpionPW and @PnorkelPW :D
    0 x
    Diogenes
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue May 03, 2022 9:50 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed May 11, 2022 8:12 am

    Hi.
    Thanks for the welcome from Lhiver.

    So I recently signed up here as part of the process with my new therapist and its agreed upon I need specialist counselling, again. I have done it in the past about 15 years ago, outpatient at Moreland Hall. Counsellor or whatever just threw naltrexone at the problem, which gave me immense migraines and he literally fell asleep during a session, so I basically sobered up out of spite and become a work/studyaholic.

    Am almost 47 now I've been socially/binge drinking since I was around 12, occasional cannabis from 14, which became a regular thing when I started working full time at 17/18 and was able to afford/access it easily.
    Lots of heavy drinking during 20's, tamed down to minimal social drinking in 30's, then started self medicating with alcohol and cannabis to deal with a dysfunctional/abusive relationship.

    Prior to covid I spent close to 2 years doing recovery for a back injury, drinking a lot to cope with being unable to work and all the related crap I was dealing with, along with the prescription opiates and benzos.
    Through that period and the covid lockdowns it became a bottle of whiskey or gin a day, maybe 2, few bottles of wine, some beers, several grams of weed a day.
    I managed to remove alcohol containing sugar or caffeine, just wine and beer now and I'm not drinking constantly every day currently. I generally have a week off and can occasionally keep it to a bottle of wine on weekends but I am drinking in unhealthy ways, I often wake up at midnight/1am after a few hours sleep and if there's wine here or beers in the fridge I'll start drinking to deal with the sleep deprivation and boredom, hoping it makes me sleep which ends up making me wired/party mode will turn into a 12 hour drinking session alone in my room, chatting with mates, "working" on my creative projects and getting nothing of any significant quality done. Often cancel appointments, obligations or social activities and basically have no patience or tolerance for people.

    Will drink until I hit the wall and end up in bed for days catching up on sleep and then just feeling constantly fatigued. Sometimes it can creep back into several day benders, using hair of the dog to pick myself up, which just ends up in more fatigue and indifference, becoming very sisyphean.

    Looking to get into firstly an outpatient assessment with a competent counsellor that is going to work in conjunction with my therapist and gp and unravel the many layers of my self medicating triggers.
    Whether it's managing it into responsible social drinking or eventual complete sobriety I am unsure, I want to be realistic and set goals that are going to help me be capable of full time work in the future and aren't going to lead to a major relapse or weeks long bender.

    Regards
    1 x
    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 552
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed May 11, 2022 3:29 pm

    heya @Diogenes thank you for being so open with us and sharing your experiences. It sounds like your early treatment was pretty frustrating, I have to say though the idea of getting sober through spite did give me a giggle. It's good to have a driving force haha.

    It sounds like you've done a lot to get to a stage where you have a certain level of control over your drinking. Getting yourself to a bottle a weekend is great, but I can see that those other less healthy habits, drinking to get back to sleep, 12 hour binges etc. have been difficult habits to break.

    I'm wondering, outside of counselling, what techniques you have to break these patterns?

    I'm gonna tag our peer workers, @ScorpionPW and @PnorkelPW for their insight
    :D

    Let us know how you're travelling
    0 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 456
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu May 12, 2022 9:03 pm

    Hi @Diogenes and thanks for sharing with us. I gotta admit that just like @Lhiver I did have a laugh at getting sober out of spite.........doesn't matter how you did it though.......you did it!!

    I might start at the end of your share because I was struck by how clear you were about what you want from your counsellor and I think that's just brilliant. Finding a counsellor that suits your needs is a major part of the battle and one way to help that process is to be able to tell them your needs and what you want from the counselling. I love that you're looking to get the team approach happening with counsellor and therapist to work towards a common goal too. I'm sure that between the three of you, you'll be able to work out what your ultimate aim is as you go. I've learnt over the years that there is no "one size fits all" to recovery and it takes time to figure out where you want to get to and how you want to get there.

    It seems you've been through quite a bit over time and through that there's a great deal of self awareness that's developed. You know it's an unhealthy lifestyle and it's landed here for a range of different reasons. Covid hit hard for a lot of people and I know plenty of people who had long term recovery time up that relapsed through that time. Something that struck me is that you seem to have quite a few interests and social connections and I'm wondering if they could be a good assist when working with your counsellor and therapist. Having things to do and people for support can really help get through the difficult early stages..............and might just actually get some of those creative projects completed and more underway.

    I tried to control my drinking for years and did used all sorts of strategies as far as just weekends, once per week, and much more...........but I could never maintain it always ended up with me back on the drink 7 days per week and ultimately from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep. Eventually I had to make the decision that the only way I could control it was not to start drinking............but like I said..........there's no "one size fits all" to recovery and you will find out what works for you.

    Thanks for teaching me a new word too! I had to look up the meaning of the word sisyphean but I really resonated with it.

    I'd love to hear how things progress for you, and if I can support in any way just tag me and let me know.
    0 x
    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 552
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sat May 14, 2022 11:40 am

    good morning and welcome to our new members @CHEEKY666 @Quietude @Maxumis @Mishy @Nomoreday1s @Cyclamen @Nicalodian83 @applehelper

    These forums are here for you to find support, connection and advice during recovery! If you have any question feel free to tag myself using the @ symbol!
    0 x
    applehelper
    Junior Member
    Posts: 5
    Joined: Sat May 14, 2022 11:27 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sat May 14, 2022 1:14 pm

    Thanks for the welcome @Lhiver :)

    This forum is such a god send!

    Im an average professional who has been dabbling with various illicit drugs over the past four years. Never would have expected I'd find myself in this kind of life, but I've been in a peer group (gay men who hookup) where lots of things get shared around.

    I'm particularly concerned about recent and increased use of ice and GHB.

    Outside of all this, I am a bookish sort who loves to learn and travel and cook. Maybe a bit trite, but these things give me so much joy. I've been so busy and stressed lately, though, that I've been turning to "quick fixes" :S
    1 x
    SoberMe2022
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Mon May 16, 2022 12:01 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon May 16, 2022 12:04 pm

    Hi guys
    I’m Em, 40yo single mum from Brisbane. Ready to stop the drinking and take control of my life. Today is day 1!
    0 x
    Firehorse
    Moderator
    Posts: 68
    Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2020 5:45 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon May 16, 2022 4:26 pm

    Hi SoberMe2022
    Welcome to the forums

    That is great today is day 1 Of you taking control and making changes to your drinking .

    Keep checking in and reaching out for support as you need

    Thank you for sharing
    1 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 369
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon May 16, 2022 9:58 pm

    Hey @SoberMe2022, that's so great to hear that you're making the decision to have a go at stopping agaib, thanks so much for sharing that.

    I think back to my day 1 and how sick, scared anxious and desperate I was. Many years later and I still find myself doing it one day at a time because it's what ended up working for me. I remember being told in my early days that if my head hits the pillow at the end of the day and I haven't picked up then it's been a successful day no matter what else happens.

    It would be great to hear what's helping you through and if you have any supports in place to help you take control of things again?
    1 x
    Skit
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue May 17, 2022 10:08 am

    I’m really not confident to quit. But some part of me always wanted to quit.

    Tue May 17, 2022 10:43 am

    Hello everyone my online name is skit, I am originally from japan and been living in Melbourne for the past 17yrs.
    I started using meth since I was 21yrs old ish and I still am addicted to ice.
    I tried so many counseling sessions at different clinics, been consulted by GP, phycologist, psychiatrist, but longest duration that I could have a continuous break was 2 yrs max. Then I started smoking, instead of injecting once in every 1-3 month.

    Since December of 2021, I relapsed severely after experiencing a very frustrating event with a girl that I was seeing at that time, then I started to inject again to release my anger. I didn’t know what to do with the negative emotion.
    That was the trigger of my current relapsing and it’s getting out of control. It’s like my brain is hijacked by ice. I am highly addicted right now.

    And what made my relapsing worse was that i started to buy bigger amount than before in order to make it cheaper per 1use.

    Finding a dealer who was almost available 24 hrs, lives 5mins away from my place, did not help at all too. Now I’m on it almost every week since I bought my last 1g and I still have some left.

    This same mistake happens to me for cannabis use too. When I buy large amount of cannabis, I just can’t stop. I get on it every day till it runs out.

    I am so wanting to quit ice right now, but I know what’s gonna happen by end of tmr. I’ll start to use the leftovers so that this current badge is over and I’ll be relieved from this horrible cycle. Then I’ll have a break for 1-3 months, but I’ll eventually start again. Same sh*t for the past 20 yrs.

    I’m really not confident to quit meth and cannabis, but i still haven’t given up yet.

    Thanks for reading this long message.
    I need help.

    Skit
    2 x
    User avatar
    teapot
    Moderator
    Posts: 98
    Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2020 2:54 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu May 19, 2022 2:03 am

    Hi @Skit welcome to the forums, you've shown a lot of strength in reaching out and sharing your story, and a lot of insight in recognising what has been the most difficult for you.

    You've done this before (2 years, wow!) and you know what's helpful for you when you're ready to take that first step. We're here for you on this journey.
    0 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 456
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu May 19, 2022 9:52 pm

    Hi @Skit and welcome to the forums...........thanks for sharing with us.

    I remember those days of buying larger amounts to make things cheaper but it only ever ended up with me using more and slipping further into addiction. I think it's amazing that you're able to stop for 1 - 3 months at a time.

    I read that you've connected with psychs, counsellors and GP's over the years. Most of the time we wait until we're stuck in the cycle of using to turn to them. I'm wondering if you've thought about turning to them when you're in your 1 - 3 months of not using so they can help you stay on that path???
    0 x

    Return to “Lived experience: A space to share your journey, advice, strategies and support”