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  • Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    NachoCowBoy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2022 11:40 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sun Jul 03, 2022 5:40 pm

    Hi @PnorkelPW

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post. I committed to posting 1 post a week for myself and I was struggling with what I would write this week so it was great to log in and see you had posted a reply to me with some questions to consider.

    I definitely cannot stop at one drink, and lately the only way I stop is by blacking out. I wake up in the morning with no recollection of the night before, making dinner, arguing with my partner over something stupid, ringing random people etc. Like you I am sure that the only way I can have control over my drinking is to not drink at all.

    I AM willing to accept life without alcohol. It is a scary thought but my family is more important than alcohol and it is the main thing that is keeping me motivated. I know that I can do this and I need to prove that to them.

    The things that are helping me to stay on track so far:

    1. Every morning and every night I check how long I have been alcohol free - I would HATE to have to start that timer again.

    2. I ask myself what I have got to lose if I have a drink - I reflect on how very close I was to losing it all, and remember that I am still on shaky ground. One wrong move from me now and it's all over.

    3. I ask myself what have I got to gain if I do not drink.

    4. I remind myself I cannot just have ONE drink.

    5. I remind myself of the health benefits that I can already see - improvements in my blood pressure, my gut / digestive health and my weight.

    6. I read several chapters a day of "This Naked Mind"

    7. I read reddit's r/stopdrinking sub at least twice a day.

    It's been 13 days, 18 hours for me without a drink and I feel very happy and excited and motivated. My blood pressure has completely returned to normal and I have lots of energy and a new found positive attitude. My partner is happy with my progress and if I can continue on this path then I will have saved this relationship as well as the relationship with my children and his children. My proudest moment was when my partner told me this week how happy he was to see the old NachoCowBoy returning and perhaps even a new better version emerging as he kissed me and hugged me. Obviously I still have a long way to go in gaining his and everyone else's trust, but I am off to a good start and yes I am very proud of myself.

    I went to my first counselling session on Friday, my homework is to write a letter to myself in 3 months from me now. What do I expect of her, what I want from her, what my goals for her are. I have confidence that me in 3 months will be even stronger than I am now. As long as I don't let myself get complacent. I will give the letter to my counsellors next week and they will give it back to me at the end of my 12 weeks.

    I hadn't considered AA or group style recovery meetings. I have always been uncomfortable in group settings, but I do see the value in meeting other people who have their own stories about their journey combating alcoholism and their own techniques and tools that I could work for me too. I can already see how hearing (or reading) other people's stories is helpful. I particularly want to thank you for sharing yours with me and offering your support.

    Thanks for reading and getting me writing :D
    2 x
    Tinkerbella
    Moderator
    Posts: 13
    Joined: Sun Aug 16, 2020 9:22 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sun Jul 03, 2022 7:48 pm

    @PnorkelPW I just read you post and found your positive enthusiasm quite inspirational. You are so actively working towards a better life and already reaping the rewards. Thanks for sharing you strategies.
    2 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 543
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon Jul 04, 2022 10:14 pm

    Hi @NachoCowBoy ……………wow that list is amazing!!! I’m glad to hear you’re making positive steps forwards and have been sober for 2 weeks!! The recognition from your partner must have felt pretty special. I think the recognition from other people is one of the things that kept me motivated. Often we don’t feel like we’re progressing as much or feel like we’re still struggling but other people notice change. It’s important to hold on to that and use it as motivation to keep moving forwards.

    One of the mistakes I used to make was using that recognition to think that I was okay again and that maybe I could try drinking again because people felt like I was back to “normal”……….whatever that meant. I hope you can use the recognition as motivation to continue not drinking and maintaining the positive pathway you’re making. When you’re writing you’re lists maybe you can highlight the changes others are seeing in you?...........such as the improved relationships with the children. They will notice the changes.

    I love that letter writing exercise you’ve been given by your counsellor and I like that you’ve set a goal to share on here once per week. I’ve tagged you in the Monday Meetup page. It seems to be just me sharing each week but it’d be great to hear from you as well and might be a way of getting that one post per week. It might also help others to share as most people on here seem to just read and not add posts. There’s also the Thursday group………same deal. Something that has worked for me is journaling. I’ve journaled every day since my first day in rehab and I’m scared to stop 6 and a half years later. It’s the one thing I’ve maintained. I keep it short, just a page in an A5 notebook. I keep it short so it’s not a chore or overwhelming and forces me to consider what’s going on the page.

    If you do decide to go to an AA meeting remember this…………you don’t have to share if asked. It’s totally okay to pass. I know people who didn’t share for months when they first got there and others who shared on the first night. It’s up to you.

    Anyhoo……..enough from me again (I tend to get carried away when responding to people – :lol: :lol: ). It’d be great to hear how things keep tracking. There can be ups and downs but just keep focusing on the positives.

    Great work so far!! I look forward to hearing more of your progress moving forwards.
    1 x
    SunflowerSeed
    Community Builder
    Posts: 47
    Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2022 10:33 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Jul 05, 2022 11:15 am

    How are we all? :)
    Welcome our new members~~
    @sam_edney36 @AdelTest @BTW22 @MummzaSmith2022 @ebowtheletter @VV @luneattikus @Fishcake @Bethred @Romiaka @User 62c2c354c6edb @Sexybeast82 @rotar @ISN @GEeGEe22
    This forum is a non-judgemental space for you to safely seek help and connect with each other. You are welcome to share your story or just introduce yourself in this post. If you have any question, just @ myself or @Lhiver . Our peer workers @PnorkelPW @ScorpionPW are also here to provide you some tips and strategies they found helpful in their journey.
    :D
    0 x
    ISN
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2022 2:49 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Jul 05, 2022 3:06 pm

    Yes, hi thank you for the welcome. It's a long road ahead but ...... it starts today!
    0 x
    SunflowerSeed
    Community Builder
    Posts: 47
    Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2022 10:33 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Jul 05, 2022 3:58 pm

    Hi @ISN ,
    Yes it is a long journey. But a good start is half way to success~
    Just be mindful there will be ups and downs along the way, but there will always be help available to help you. So feel free to chat with us in this forum~ :D
    0 x
    Bethred
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:53 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Jul 05, 2022 5:41 pm

    Hello. I've let my (meth) dabbling escalate to daily use. I've been on and off for many years now.
    If I'm honest and call this a relapse this would be number 3. (I don't consider party drugs a relapse).
    My drug use is a bandaid, I know that.
    Posting here looking for someone to talk real, open and honest about using with, maybe a support person to vent too will get me through a detox..
    I cant talk to friends or family about my current struggle. I cant bear to see that look of fear or disappointment. I haven't seen it many years and don't want to go back there after so much time to heal the wounds. Strongly considered going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting tonight, have never been to one before. But what if I see someone I know there? too risky..
    When thinking about the person I was when I started abusing drugs, to who I am now.. I am so proud of myself. I hope that by having a little support I can get back on track
    - Beth
    1 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 460
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Jul 05, 2022 8:55 pm

    Hi @Bethred,

    I take my hat off to you for being so open and honest about where you're at, I know how hard it can be to reach out.

    I can relate a lot to what you're saying, it took me a long time to realise that my drug use was just a band aid that I used to cope for so long. It was the only way I knew how to cope with life so it was really scary when the drugs stopped working for me.

    Narcotics Anonymous helped me a lot, I tried to manage my use for years, swapping one substance for another, seeing only certain drugs as a problem but not others. Ultimately, for me, I discovered that I couldn't succesfully or safely use anything, no matter what I did I would always end up back in the same place. It wasn't any one drug that was the problem, it was the addiction in my thinking and that I didn't know how else to cope with life.

    When I found NA, it gave me so much hope to meet people who had been through similar things to me but who had found a new way of life, without using. It gave me a lot of hope but it was really scary sitting in a room full of strangers feeling so vulnerable and messed up in the head. The responses I were given were ones of kindness, understanding and compassion without expecting anything in return. Slowly, I started to feel like I was in the right place, kept coming back and was able to build a new life in recovery.

    There are also lots of online meetings as well as face to face so if you wanted to check out a meeting but the thought of going to one where you might know someone you could always try jumping on Zoom. You could log into a meeting anywhere and see if it gels for you.

    I hope you continue to reach out on the forums and we're always here if you wanna chat :)
    1 x
    User 62af0ba5659f0
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2022 9:49 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Jul 05, 2022 9:59 pm

    Hi, I love to colour in, browse online shops or watch tv series!

    I would like to become a qualified BAS agent and get a work from home job as a bookkeeper!
    I would also like to raise children who don't have the same issues that I do! :shock:
    1 x
    SunflowerSeed
    Community Builder
    Posts: 47
    Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2022 10:33 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Jul 06, 2022 10:48 am

    Hi @User 62af0ba5659f0 , welcome to the forum~ :D
    It's lovely to know you have something you enjoy doing~
    Thank you for sharing these~ ;)
    0 x
    SunflowerSeed
    Community Builder
    Posts: 47
    Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2022 10:33 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Jul 06, 2022 11:10 am

    Hi all~ how are we today? :D
    @Jamie.boadle
    Welcome to the forum~~
    This forum a safe place for you to get help and connect with each other. We have some lovely peer workers here @ScorpionPW and @PnorkelPW . They have some tips in what helped them in their journey so look around~ If you need help with anything, just @ the peer workers or myself and @Lhiver :)
    1 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 460
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Jul 06, 2022 8:44 pm

    Hi @ISN, just thought I would touch base and see how you're going? I remember my first few days were pretty rough but I had some good support around me. If you feel comfortable sharing where things are at for you if you want just want to have a chat about what's happening for you we're always here :)
    0 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 460
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Jul 06, 2022 9:30 pm

    Hi @User 62af0ba5659f0, thanks so much for sharing. Whats a BAS agent and what series are you watching at the moment?

    I can really relate to what you're saying about wanting to raise little ones that don't have the same issues. My parents went through addiction as did I. I'm lucky to have broken the cycle with my son so far as he has only ever known me in recovery, I've been clean the whole time he's been alive and he is 9 now :D
    0 x
    SunflowerSeed
    Community Builder
    Posts: 47
    Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2022 10:33 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 07, 2022 11:00 am

    Hello all~
    How are we all feeling today?
    Welcome our new member today~~ :D @Nevergoingback
    This is a safe space for you to share and connect with each other. We are here to help you to go through your journey.
    Our peer workers @PnorkelPW and @ScorpionPW have some tips and strategies that helped them in their recovery. Myself and @Lhiver are here to help as well, so let us know if you need help with anything~ :D
    0 x
    Bethred
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:53 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jul 07, 2022 7:32 pm

    @ScorpionPW

    Thank you for your message of support and sharing your experience.

    Can I ask -Did you bond with any members of the NA group that you kept in contact outside of meetings? or was it purely your own drive that pushed you through?
    What did you do to fill your evenings and spare time sober? I know myself, as soon as my brain starts thinking *Hmm now what to do Im bored* I already have a bottle in my hand pouring a glass or Im sitting there rolling one or sending texts chasing.. or I search for something new to experience, meet up with someone from an app or accept an invite to a random party, new is exciting, spontaneous and often irresponsible.
    I go on autopilot.
    A behaviour I retrained my brain out of before.
    But here I am again.. Should I go back to the same therapy’s that worked all those years ago? Can I even say that they ‘worked’ if Im here now?
    Is this a common theme amongst addicts or is there a deeper issue at play?
    Thank you for the zoom suggestion, theres really no excuse not to give it a go.
    Can you suggest any other peer support chat services available? Im surprised at how little I found searching online
    0 x

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