Recovery voyage continues....

[Simply me]

Heylo Folks
Been over a year since I touched base here. Felt to drop by and type some words, in case they resonate, someone relates and selfishly to prevent me pondering options which would be unwise at this point...

So, it's now over 4 years sober. I've come off antidepressants, mood stabilisers, reduced anti-psychotics by a third. I am a hell of a lot more present with emotional perceiving and feelings, navigating voice hearing and you know, general life. Not always comfy or easy, guess that's partially why I popped by, to say heylo, remind myself to hang in and send some good vibes to those in need of em....

Gawdess I hardly know where to begin. I got the boot from and packed up my rental home of 11 years. Moved to a compleetely new community 1 1/2 hours away as a rent refugee to afford something I don't drive. Took a foot in the door / toe dip risk on a 6 month lease but did find a space I love, and that lease has now been extended yay! Last but so not least, I have a month ago separated from my partner of 7 years....party on! Ha ha. Seriously tho I'm where I'm meant to be I believe. In many ways and on many levels...

Getting through these challenges without picking up has been huge, yet also it was not so very present in my awareness, and here I be. The lonliness of the separation is pretty gnarly at times, and not numbing it, sitting with it....hhhmmm not my fav hobby lets say. I am crafting and arting like a madwoman, very closely resembling said at times ha ha again. Working towards my second exhibition since sobriety, in September. Distraction and immersion strategies really. Gardening a far whack, both here, in others spaces, and today Landcare for the first time. Earth out and center....

Well, probably won't ramble too much on. If its early days, hang in there, this community and forums got me through. I may have had a bit of a grumble above, a lot of really, but I have made some pretty solid friendships here, developing a sense of connection to land and community aka found a niche of a kind. It's authentic in terms of if you meet me nowadays, you get the good, the bad and the ugly. So if folks stick around, that's pretty satisfying, cos I know it's not a fair weather only deal anymore. Vulnerable making, but real deal. I heard a saying 'connection is the opposite of addiction' that struck a chord.

Yada yada....signing off, blessings and good vibes to all....
Go gently and be kind to selves, n I'll work to do the same...

[Sunflowerseed]

Hi @Simply me,
Congratulation!!! It sounds like you are doing such a great job despite many things has happened in the past year. Thank you for checking back in here to share your feelings and wisdom with everyone.
Looking forward to hearing from you again about your inspiring journey!

[PnorkelPW]

This is soooooo great @Simply me!!! Well done!!! And thanks for sharing this with us, it's a real message of hope and I'm sure there'll be many people who find inspiration in it.

I love the way you write, it really conveys the journey of change and the ups and downs that go with it. You've had a number of experiences to work through over the past year and I'm tipping this year is going to bring much more positive change. You've been through some of the biggest upheavals life can deliver with the move and the relationship breakup but the attitude you've approached it with is just awesome! Reading that you've sat in the loneliness and difficult emotions is rad...........it's sooooo hard to do but it's how we move through the pain. If we don't feel the pain, it just builds up and gets harder in the long run. Life sucks sometimes but there's lessons to be learned and I have this thing where I reckon we build up emotional scar tissue so things don't hurt as much the next time. The only way to build the resilience is to feel it and learn new coping skills. I have a bit of a weird theory too and that's that if I feel all the sadness and get it out of my system, it allows me to feel the good times to their fullest because there's no underlying layers of unfelt emotion.

4 years is brilliant............keep it going!!

Before I go, you mentioned "connection is the opposite of addiction" so I thought I'd share the link to the TED talk by Johann Hari that that quote comes from in case anyone is interested: https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_e ... anguage=en.
It's one thing to make change and it's another thing to maintain it. It's the maintenance that's the hardest and it's near impossible to do alone. Connection plays a big role in this as you've demonstrated this in your move to the new town, your hobbies, etc. I'm sure that if you keep doing everything you're doing then you'll continue making positive connections and reap the benefits of the work you've been doing. You've done all of this and managed the reduction of your meds over the years.........awesome!!!

Keep up the great work and I hope to be reading more awesome updates in the future!!

P.S. I don't reckon you grumbled at all............you just spoke about your life experiences. Life ain't always easy and we need to talk about the hard times too because pretending that everything is great all the time doesn't solve anything.

[gorden]

Great Work !

Keep going strong

I know its hard to stay in control.

Well Done.