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  • Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 612
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Jul 11, 2022 8:47 pm

    Monday, Monday, Monday................how was your weekend???

    I had an interesting experience on Friday and I was very unprepared. I went to a concert and whilst there my mind started to race with thoughts of using drugs. There was something about the music, the lights, and the general experience of being at the concert that triggered me............not to mention that if I'm being completely honest, my mind has been drifting lately and the "what if this time it'd be different?' thoughts have been entering my mind. What's weirder is that psychedelics were never part of my story but of late that's what's been on my mind. I was not ready for the strength of those thoughts on Friday night though.

    I guess I was lucky I was there with someone I could talk to about it all and I've been able to talk to others since. Whenever thoughts of using again cross my mind I always start to look at what's happening for me and why I'm looking for external solutions again. I have to ask myself why I'm looking for an escape because that's what drugs and alcohol were all about for me..............escaping reality. I think my guard was down as well because I was on the tail end of two weeks off work and maybe haven't been as focused on my recovery routines.

    It's not like I was rushing out to use or anything, I was just caught really off guard and after analysing things I've realised that these thoughts have been around for a while now and I've not given them the focus they deserve. They say that relapse doesn't happen when you use...........it happens in the days, weeks, months leading up to it when these thoughts have been gaining power in the back of your mind. So I'm glad Friday night happened because it's given me a real kick up the arse and reminded me that I need to concentrate on my program of recovery again and get back to the things that work.

    I've realised how far my routine had slipped prior to my time off and being on holidays just magnified that. So it's back to basics for me. Time to get back in the routine that has held me strong. I could easily sit back and say that it's fine and I'll be okay but if I don't have an honest look and assessment of where I'm at it could have consequences further down the track. I'm pretty confident it won't..............but there's one thing I know for certain and that's that I can never promise I won't use again. I can only say that for today I'll do everything I can not to............and repeat that the next day.

    I've been to plenty of concerts in recovery and have never had an experience like this. It just goes to show how triggers can rear their heads at any time and we need to be vigilant at all times. Whether you're just starting out on a recovery journey or well on the way...............honesty with self is the most important tool you can have. So where are you at???

    And remember everybody............just because it's not Monday when you read this, it doesn't mean you can't reply. So what's on your mind???

    @Chanelle26 @MisPix @BW @Dinesh @purpleamethyst @Jadda87 @Purse73 @Sunshine12 @Coffey12
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    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 537
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Tue Jul 12, 2022 8:35 pm

    Wow, thanks for being so open about that experience you had on Friday @PnorkelPW, it's great you had somebody with you and that you're tuned in to yourself enough to recognise what's happening for you before actually acting on the thought.

    I think it's so true that the relapse happens emotionally long before physically picking up. There have been so many times when I can see alarm bells ringing because of thoughts and behaviours that are carrying out, and I know there's only one place it's leading. I think that's one of the gifts we get from being in recovery for a while is the ability to notice the signs and make a decision to change things before ending up back on it again. That moment where we can pause, seperate ourselves from our thinking, share what's going on, find a new perspective and adjust whatever we need to. It's things like this that really remind me of the reality that we're in recovery, not recovered and no matter how much time passes, we just do it a day at a time.

    My weekend was great actually, spend Friday night with somebody new I've been seeing which was really really nice while the little man was at his mums. The rest of the weekend was just spent with my son hanging out, playing games and unfortunately not shooting hoops because of the weather!

    How is everybody else going? What's helping you get through these cold winter weekends?
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 612
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Thu Jul 14, 2022 8:47 pm

    Yeah I think it's a part of why recovery takes a few attempts @ScorpionPW ..............we learn from mistakes. Once upon a time it would have been enough to make me slip up and go and use. Over time I've learnt that I can work through those urges. I think that's why it's important to acknowledge and look closely at why a lapse happens so that we can learn the lessons from it. Lapses aren't a disaster..............they're an education.

    Nice to hear you're seeing someone new...............I hope it keeps moving forwards.
    1 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 612
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Jul 18, 2022 8:36 pm

    I hope everyone’s weekend was orright. Mine was really low-key as I had my daughter and she was a bit unwell but by then end of it I felt pretty good coz I’d done a couple of house things.

    On Saturday I bought a new doona, sheets, and pillows for me and a weighted blanket for my daughter thanks to my recent tax return. I haven’t been sleeping properly and I’ve tried a few different things so thought this might be the way to go. So far I’ve had a couple of pretty good night’s sleep so hopefully that continues. The weighted blanket seems to be working for my daughter too………..maybe I should get one for myself??? Has anyone got one and what are your thoughts on them???

    I also cleaned out my cupboard and got rid of some old clothes to take to the Op Shop. That was one of those tasks I’ve been wanting to do for aaaaages so I just feel better for finally having done it. I just feel a bit more organised and a lot less cluttered. And there’ll be people that can use the clothes so that feels good too. Is there anything you can do to help you feel less cluttered???

    Sunday was a couch day. My daughter baked some cinnamon scrolls and I made a thermos of hot chocolate and we went and watched the waves at the beach in the afternoon. Simple, cheap, and a good way to spend the day. Not everything has to involve money and there are some really easy ways to fill time without spending a fortune.

    How was your weekend???

    @SunflowerSeed @ScorpionPW @Blackdoggriffon1976 @Iwillbeok @Jaysee123 @My Circus @Maud @KiKi22 @Simply me @Pearly @Drourney52 @jday14871 @GhostCleary @Sillybilly123 @Deyfhob @initae89 @Xena9492
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    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 537
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Jul 18, 2022 9:39 pm

    Sorry to hear about your daughter @PnorkelPW, hope she's feeling better. And how good are weighted blankets! I've had one for a while now and it has helped with my sleep sooo much.

    Absolutely love your mention of how really nice quality time together doesn't have to cost a lot of money. It's the company that matters, it can be really simple and I think just showing thoughtfulness to spend that time with somebody is what really counts.

    My weekend was really nice, I got to spend some really nice time with the woman I've been seeing and catch up with some friends for dinner and a meeting on Saturday night. I also got to have dinner with my dad on Sunday after him being away overseas for 6 weeks which was great.

    I've come down with something today so not the best way to start the week but I'm just lucky it's not too busy at work this week so I can take some time off to recover if I need to.

    How's everybody else doing? How was the weekend?
    1 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 612
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Thu Jul 21, 2022 8:43 pm

    Yeah I'm thinking strongly about one for myself @ScorpionPW ............great to hear there's some good things happening in your life
    1 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 612
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Jul 25, 2022 8:35 pm

    Hi All.............how was your weekend?

    My Sunday was pretty low-key. Swim/sauna, life admin, house stuff and a two hour walk on the beach with my feet in the water before a night starting a new series I got recommended. Saturday was a bit more of a struggle though.

    I shared a bit in the Thursday thread last week about my upcoming weekend and I'm really glad I prepared myself. I was due to meet a mate in the city in the afternoon to watch the footy at a pub and then go to a concert at The Arts Centre. There was a late change of plan with the pub though and we ended up at the pub I used to manage...........and where my life really hit a downward spiral that a few years later took me to depths that almost ended me. It was a challenge sitting in there, a challenge sitting in my emotions..........but it was a challenge I surfed through talking.

    Luckily for me there was a lot of people I knew there and it was good to see some old faces but it was sad to see the same people on the same bar stools they were on 10 years ago. I realised how easily that could still be me and I was grateful to be where I am now. There was just some time there where I was looking at the taps and craved a beer like I haven't for a looooong time. I've been in licensed venues but it's rare. I've generally been okay but Saturday was different. Luckily I was able to grab my mate and get him to come outside with me for a few minutes and talk to regroup. The handy thing was that everyone knows my story so there was no-one offering me a beer. The footy got interesting, we ordered some food and the focus changed. I was okay again. As I was sitting on the bar stool drinking my soda and lime the words of one of my counsellors started ringing through my head................"IF YOU SIT IN A BARBER'S CHAIR LONG ENOUGH YOU'RE GONNA GET A HAIRCUT". That's why I don't go to licensed venues much and i always have a plan- see Thursday's thread.

    Anyway...........how was your weekend?? What did you get up to???

    @GretaGarbage99 @Smudgy @Judas @Jude54 @Offthegear91 @antzs18 @packmarker @Sunflowers1
    @SunflowerSeed
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 612
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 01, 2022 8:37 pm

    Hi All...........how was your weekend?

    @Alex&h @Bish @Darlings6 @moosey @lilyhew @lilxmrs @Olly @bigfeelslittle @Paulnm @Mikaylakay13 @User 62e34c76328ed @Carett @Don Fox @blackslate ..................welcome to the forums all

    Did your weekend go to plan? Have fun?? Didn't go so well???


    Mine was a bit of a mix. I did most of the things I set out to do with my daughter but I didn't give her the full attention I wanted to yesterday............I was just low energy. We started our jigsaw puzzle and played some Mario Kart on the Wii - yes we still play the Wii - LOL - but we never left the house and I had a nap in the afternoon for over an hour. Time is a precious gift and I feel like I wasted it yesterday but I'm most disappointed that she didn't get the focus she deserved.

    The good thing is that every day is another opportunity to do things better than yesterday and there's no point in dwelling on it because there's nothing I can change about yesterday...............but I can have better tomorrow's.

    Whats on your mind?
    1 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 537
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Tue Aug 02, 2022 10:00 pm

    Thanks for sharing @PnorkelPW, I can really relate to what you're saying. There have been plenty of times where I've felt really exhausted, wanting to give my little one more time and energy but feeling unable to. It's so easy to get the whip out and be hard on ourselves but I really like what you said about looking forward and trying to balance things out to be able to have the energy we want to for things.

    Another thing that helps me with this thinking is realising that my son is loved, happy, has everything he needs and has grown up in a safe and stable environment which is what matters more than anything. All the little things like this can be worked on and I can always shift things to give him real quality time.

    My weekend was really nice spending time with my girlfriend, watching the UFC on Sunday and having dinner with my son and my dad on Sunday night.

    How have things been for everybody else?
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 612
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Thu Aug 04, 2022 8:08 pm

    You're right @ScorpionPW .............I gotta remember to maintain some perspective
    1 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 612
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 08, 2022 8:51 pm

    Hi All..........welcome to the new members........... @Teena @Gaye68 @Rocky01 @Angela8381 @BRW @erinoneill ....................how were your weekends?? Did things go to plan?? Did things get off track?? Are you okay??

    Mine was somewhat quiet but I got to do a fair bit of thinking. I realised how my thinking gets a narrow focus at times and I can develop tunnel vision. I gave up on exercise last week because I was On Call for work which means I couldn't go swimming in the mornings because I need to be available by phone at all times. In effect, I gave up on exercise for the week when suddenly I had a realisation on Saturday morning and I went for a 7km walk along the beachfront instead. I did the same on Sunday. It was my moving meditation which is what swimming gives me as well. It wasn't my usual routine but it was an alternative.

    An hour and a half of walking gave me plenty of time to reflect and think each day. On the Sunday after my walk I went and lay on my rock by the water in the winter sun and let my thoughts just settle. As a result, I'm trying to change my focus moving forwards and instead of getting stuck in what I can't do, I'm trying to think about what I can do. There are always solutions.............it's just that sometimes they're not the solutions we want. They are however, completely workable alternatives.

    I've found that when talking to people in the early stages of trying to make changes to their substance use........and it was certainly part of my story..........they get focused on what they can't do or focused on limited solution paths. An example of this is housing and people will say they only want to live in suburbs x, y & z but there are options in a, c, f, k, m, p, q, t, and v as well. Making change means making choices we don't necessarily want to make in order to find solutions to our problems. Not being able to do this results in self sabotaging and delaying progress.

    Maybe you want to play sport but there's only Tuesday nights available and you're unavailable Tuesday nights. Is there something else you can shift around to open up Tuesdays or not do something so you can play??? It comes down to difficult choices but choices that will ultimately benefit your life in the longrun.

    Is there anything happening for you at the moment where you might be able to shift your focus and open up to new solutions???

    Sometimes it's housing, sometimes it's sport, sometimes it's friends, work, study, food, exercise, etc, etc..............where can you get flexible??
    0 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 537
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Wed Aug 10, 2022 9:56 pm

    It's great to hear about your experience with falling off with exercise then picking it up again @PnorkelPW...I've had a similar thing happening at the moment where I was in a really good routine with my exercise and eating and I was starting to get really fit again. Then over the past couple of months it has slowly fallen off to the point where I'm not exercising at all and eating in a way that's really far away from where I want to be.

    I'm here just hoping that the willingness to pick up the ball and start looking after myself returns. I like what you say about needing to make choices we might not want to make, or that might feel uncomfortable but are choices we need to find a solution or make the change we desire for ourselves.

    I think this is a good opportunity to refocus and re align my lifestyle with what I actually want for myself.

    My weekend was busy but also wonderful. Spent some amazing quality time with my girlfriend at the hot springs on Saturday night and had my mums birthday on Sunday which was a bit of a mixed bag because of my sons behaviour but it ended up being ok. It's hard at times and a lot of energy but I am grateful for all of the relationships in my life even when they're challenging and frustrating.

    How was everybody elses weekend/how have your weeks been so far?
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 612
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Thu Aug 11, 2022 8:56 pm

    I've managed to swim every morning this week so far @ScorpionPW ...................it's hard to get started but just takes that first one or two days for the body to remember how good it makes you feel.

    You got this mate
    1 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 537
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Thu Aug 11, 2022 8:58 pm

    Nice one @PnorkelPW, that's great to hear :) Thanks man, I reckon I'll get started again soon...
    1 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 612
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 15, 2022 9:09 pm

    Hi All………..I hope your weekend was okay.

    Mine was spent with my daughter and then my dad came over on Sunday and stayed the night. Spending the time with him was good but he wasn’t wearing his hearing aids and I had to repeat everything I said. There were times where I just gave up when he hadn’t even heard anything I’d said. I know my daughter just gave up too. The thing that kept running through my mind though was this…………just be grateful to be spending the time with him because time is something that you can never get back.

    I had no plan for the Sunday but it’s amazing how quickly a day can be filled even on a crappy rainy day like we had. After picking him up from the station we went for a half hour drive down the coast to a bakery that does that best cinnamon donuts I’ve ever tasted……..a big claim I know!! We grabbed a hot chocolate and drove to just sit and watch the waves, the few people crazy enough to be out sailing, and just talked for a while. From there it was a drive back along the scenic route taking some time to pull over and admire the views. We grabbed some cheap lunch at the food court and then found ourselves ten pin bowling.

    As we were bowling I was amazed how much fun I was having. I looked around at all the different people and everyone seemed to be having fun too. Some played multiple games and some just played one. It was just a fun way to spend time and it got me thinking that it’s something I’d like to get together with friends and do too. Even to get some of the work crew together for some fun after work every now and then. From there it was back to watch the footy followed by fish and chips and a movie. A full day. A cheap day. A fun day……………….a day without drugs or alcohol.

    That’s what took some time for me to understand when it came to breaking the hold addiction held over me. I had to create a life that involved things I didn’t want to lose to addiction. When I was in my early teens I was playing tennis, basketball, badminton, footy and pennant golf……….by the time I was 18 the only things I was doing on the weekend was drinking, working, and hanging with friends…….but drinking was what I looked forward to most. As time went on and the years went by work, drinking, and drugs were the most important things in my world and unfortunately I put everyone and everything else in my life second.

    When I lost my marriage, house, the chance to be a full-time father, employment , and all the money I had I had nothing else to lose and addiction took me places I never imagined. After rehab I started to rebuild. I started to accumulate things I never thought I’d have again and a lot of that was things like self esteem, confidence, respect, values, integrity, and hope. Some of it was a solid relationship with my daughter, ex-wife, friends, family, work colleagues. Some of it was employment, study, a future, financial security. Some of it was walking at the beach, exercise, dating, concerts, hanging with friends, country drives, watching television, going to the movies……….and trying new things.

    There are times where I think about drink, drugs, and gambling but it’s all the things I just mentioned that stop me from going back. When I had nothing to lose it was easy to keep going back and stay stuck in that world of addiction. The merry-go-round just kept turning. As I built my world as it is now………which took time and requires constant adjustment………..they became protective factors because I know that if I go back to drink, drugs, or gambling then everything I’ve worked so hard to build can disappear in the blink of an eye.

    There are always going to be times where temptation strikes and sometimes it hits harder than others. Making change to your life involves creating a life where drink and drugs aren’t needed. A life that you’re scared to lose if you try it again. I’ve tried having drink and drugs in my life too many times with the outcome always ending in a mess. I don’t want to go back to that. There’ll be no such thing as just one drink or just one drug…………I know that for a fact.

    So I’m asking you…………

    What do you want your life to look like?

    How do you want to fill your time?

    What do you enjoy doing?

    What would you like to try?


    Do you have any questions??

    @Sunflowersandpumpkinseeds @Elie @Chubbakitty @SAL77 @Jleelee @Terje @In confidence @Bartok @Outback @Dashie22 @SnoopKatt @Julskitt @LadyHay
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