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  • Monday Meetup

    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 625
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Tue Apr 12, 2022 8:19 am

    heya @bh16 thank you for sharing your story with us, it takes a lot f courage to open up,m so good on you.

    It sounds like the last few years have been particularly difficult for you. You've mentioned a few different things you've tried in the past which haven't worked for you, are there any techniques which have helped?

    I can hear how frustrated you are in this situation, when you've tried a few things and they haven't worked it can feel particularly defeated. How ever, instead of viewing them as failures, look at them as learning experience. Why did these specific things not work? You've mentioned boredom and a lack of motivation being big factors. How can you target the boredom and help build up your motivation?

    Addressing those aspects, and creating a clear approach for how you'll move forward in recovery is incredibly important, otherwise it can feel overwhelming to know where to start.

    @PnorkelPW and @ScorpionPW
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    bh16
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2022 2:07 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Tue Apr 12, 2022 9:33 am

    Thanks for the reply.

    Im currently studying Cert IV mental Health (online class about to start).
    I will navigate around the site and do some reading up on different topics.
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 625
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Tue Apr 12, 2022 9:39 am

    Studying is fantastic @bh16

    You might find this section useful https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/making-a-change

    If you need any extra support or have any question, feel free to tag myself or @PnorkelPW and @ScorpionPW
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 548
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Thu Apr 14, 2022 8:58 pm

    Hi @bh16 .......thanks for sharing.

    One of my favourite sayings is "I failed my way to success". Whilst I really dislike the word failure I really like this saying. I agree with @Lhiver that there are always lessons to be learnt. I found it hard to think like that at first but as time went by and I started to ask myself "WHY" it didn't work I was able to start to find new solutions. I think a lot of people look at detox or rehab and hope they are the silver bullet to success but change takes time. People do multiple admissions because each time they learn something new and go back out to try it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it works for a short time, others for longer. What's important is not to give up. People are often unsure what to expect from detox or rehab as well so that first admission can just be about understanding what to expect and the next time you go back you feel a bit more comfortable.

    Have you thought about why things haven't worked?

    Boredom is hard and a lot of people struggle. Just starting something is the key. When struggling for motivation I have to force myself to just start. Once I'm up and moving things flow from there and I always feel better just for doing something. Sometimes it's gardening, a walk at the beach, cooking a meal, doing the housework, listening to music, going for a swim.............what do you like to do? What did you used to like to do? What's something you've always wanted to do but haven't tried yet?

    Trusting your gut and resigning is okay. Too many people stay in jobs where they aren't happy and it ends up doing more harm than good in the long run. There are plenty of other jobs out there to have a crack at.

    Covid affected a lot of people and I was one who put on weight and lost motivation too. I've spent this year getting back into shape........slowly and I feel much better overall. Can exercise be a focus for you..........even just simple walks each day to get some fresh air and movement. It doesn't have to be hard core gym stuff or anything. Maybe joining a local community walking group?
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    Azura
    Member
    Posts: 36
    Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2019 10:25 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Mon Apr 18, 2022 5:26 pm

    Hi all
    My weekend went ok. I got through it without using . Thanks to here and having a few things planned to do. Yesterday started to feel hard craving wise but this evening is worse. It's already getting dark which helps and I did make it through all of today. I kinda got irritated at a friend on the phone earlier. Fully on me and I feel like an unkind unstable person. I txt her apologizing for my negativity. She is unaware that it's day five of withdrawal for me. I guess it highlights to me one good reason not to use. I want to be able to rely on my self mentally. And for others to be able to rely on me.
    I did have a great day Friday and Saturday with a niece. And helped a friend clean today.
    Am pretty tired so that makes it easier to go to bed early .
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 548
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Mon Apr 18, 2022 8:11 pm

    That’s Easter done and another long weekend over. I’ve had my daughter, arranged an Easter egg hunt, survived a visit to see mum, spent time with friends, got some sunshine and fresh air, begun preparing my house so I can start painting it like I’ve been talking about for over a year, seen dolphins swim beside the ferry we were on and much more.

    Long weekends can be tough and staying busy is important for me………I think I found the balance between rest and activity.

    How was your long weekend??
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 548
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Mon Apr 18, 2022 8:20 pm

    Hi @Azura ………..withdrawal is hard and it can be full of reactions to people and situations that are out of character. Great work by owning it and apologising to your friend. I’ve always found that by making amends quickly it settles my mind and makes it easier for me to keep moving forwards. One of the biggest rewards from being substance free for me has also been the stability in my thinking and actions. I find that these days I take action instead of reacting, I hope you can find that too.

    I hope you get a good night’s sleep and if I can support or help in any way then just let me know.
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 548
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Mon Apr 25, 2022 8:22 pm

    I hope your weekend was safe……….what did you get up to?

    I didn’t achieve all the goals I had set out, in particular painting the house………but I did get some done and that’s what’s important. I felt a sense of achievement when it was done because I haven’t painted before and I can do more over the coming weeks. I also managed to rest and reset my head ready to go back to work next week. I’ve had 11 days off and I had two goals……..paint the house and get refreshed. I made plans to make my last day a god one too so I played golf this morning, went for a swim and a sauna afterwards and finished the day with a massage. So whilst I didn’t get all the painting done I did get it started and I am going back to work feeling refreshed………..some goals achieved and others still in process.

    Did you have any goals for the weekend? How did you with them?

    Did you have goals around your drug or alcohol use? How did you go?

    We don’t have to achieve everything we set out to but we can learn from the experience which helps us the next time…………..what did you learn that could help you next time????
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 548
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Mon May 02, 2022 8:23 pm

    I hope you're all okay......Mondays can be tough at the best of times but in active addiction Monday's can be harder. Maybe you haven't had the weekend you had hoped for or planned and have woken up feeling a bit worse than usual. It's not just the physical but the mental side of things that can be tougher.

    I've been reflecting on my weekend and what's sprung to mind is that I've been lacking strategy of late. It's great to have plans and goals, activities to do, a support network and everything else that people suggest but without strategy it can all fall apart pretty quickly. And not just one strategy..........it's important to have strategies in case things don't go to plan too.

    I've found that without strategy it's easy to distracted or overwhelmed. So no matter what your recovery goals are.........what's your strategy to make it happen? It's great to say I'm gonna get clean and sober but how???
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 548
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Mon May 09, 2022 8:47 pm

    Hi All……..another weekend done. I hope you got through safely and that Mother’s Day was okay. It may be important for some of you to continue accessing your support networks if yesterday was difficult for you. If I’ve learnt one thing, it’s that talking helps. It doesn’t necessarily solve anything, fix anything or make the problem disappear……….but it helps ease the pressure. By sharing with others you can find reassurance, connection, strategies and just get the thoughts out of your head.

    I made the decision not to see my mum which was based on a number of factors. A big part of it was safety for her as I’d been around a number of positive covid cases last week and didn’t want to risk giving it to her. Another big part was that I needed to look after myself. It’s a difficult relationship with mum. I love her……….but I find it really hard to be around her and it affects my mental health and in turn, my overall wellbeing. There was also the two hour drive there, the time there and the two hour drive home that I wasn’t up for this weekend. I wrestled with it for some time but this is what boundaries are about……….enforcing boundaries involves difficult decisions.

    Boundaries are about doing what’s best for you and can be difficult for other people to understand. The changes required to establish a life of not using mean putting yourself first and protecting your recovery. I found it hard at first because when I was in active addiction I lived an extremely selfish life but in order to live in recovery I had to get selfish again. I’ve coined the phrase “positive selfishness” and that’s what my decision not to go see mum was based on this weekend. I just felt that it would cause me more harm than be of benefit to her.

    No matter which way we go at times we are never going to please everyone………and trying to do so just ends up sending me around the twist. What I’ve had to learn is to be okay with not pleasing everyone but stay confident in the fact that I’m making the best decisions for me based on the right reasons. In active addiction those selfish decisions were never for the right reasons………..now they are and I find reassurance in that. I need to be able to look myself in the eye in the mirror and the more I’ve been able to make these decisions, the more I’ve been able to find certainty in the person I’m becoming. I’ve been able to find alignment.

    It’s taken me some time………….but I’ve got there

    How do you go setting boundaries?

    What do you find difficult about it?
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 548
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Mon May 16, 2022 8:31 pm

    Hi All, I how was your weekend???

    Of late I've been feeling quite unproductive. I've been finding that things feel like they're piling up around me when it comes to house stuff and I'm just not getting anything done. I'm trying to remind myself that it's okay not to have everything perfect all the time and that it's okay to have an afternoon nap..............like the hour and a half I had on the couch yesterday afternoon. I tell everyone else its okay to rest and to listen to their bodies but I'm not great at taking my own advice.

    When I think about the week I had I'm not surprised I needed the rest. I was up at 5am every day to exercise, worked a 50 hour week, had two nights of 4 hours sleep and then a relatively busy weekend with my daughter. Is it any wonder I decided to put the housework off till next week and just had a nap instead. That's where the balance is...........but maintaining the balance is important. I don't want to go too far the other way and stop doing things all together because that's a sign that maybe I'm not travelling too well. I wrote a picec on that a couple of weeks ago...........about my environment reflecting my headspace. When I goo too far the other way and stop cleaning and my environment gets messy, it's a good sign that my headspace is getting messy too.

    So yeah..........I'm okay with my afternoon nap but I have to get the housework done next weekend...........I have to keep the balance.

    How do you find trying to keep the balance???
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 548
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Mon May 23, 2022 8:40 pm

    Hi All...........for some reason the saying "You don't always get what you want but you get what you need" keeps running through my head lately. It's really easy for me to get carried away with thinking about the things I want which leads me to frustration and disappointment. By focusing on my wants all the time I never end up happy because it just leads to me wanting more............kinda like when I'm in active addiction and I just want more and more of whatever it is I'm putting in my system. Learning to accept what I have has been a major learning. It simplifies things and quietens my mind.

    One of the hardest things about making change is that we can tend to want that change to happen quickly...........but it takes time. When I was getting into recovery I wanted it and I wanted it now. I was having trouble seeing that I was getting it a day at a time. I wanted what other people had. They had years in recovery, financial security, confidence, employment or study................they seemed happy and that's the thing I wanted most. When I look back on that time, I realise I had what I needed. I had 12 step meetings, a sponsor to help me stay on track. I had food in my belly and a roof over my head. I had public transport to get me around. I had the ability to find work. I had the wreckage I'd caused in my life to inspire me to stay focused on recovery.

    These days I'm really focused on the language I use and I try to think about whether things I'm focused on are wants or needs. I encourage you think about your wants and needs and if you find that you're getting frustrated with life, have a think about which one you're focusing on.

    Thoughts???
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 548
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Mon May 30, 2022 8:17 pm

    Winter is coming!! I'm really not looking forward to driving to work in the dark and driving home in the dark. My mental health suffers.

    As the cold weather is setting in............which it definitely is this week here in Melbourne...........I'm starting to try and focus on staying motivated. It can get harder to get out and about, easier to stay in bed...........motivation can really drop off. Well for me it can.

    It's not easy to make changes to your substance use. In fact it's bloody hard to stop. One of the things people talk abut all the time is finding things to do. Occupying your time. Finding new people and things to connect to. But that can be hard when it's wet and cold outside and the temptation is to just stay in. That thought crossed my mind this morning when I got out of bed and it was colder than it has been.

    This year I've made a real effort to get up at 5am and exercise before work because that's something that works for me. It hasn't been every morning, probably 3 - 5 days per week and it hasn't always been easy. I've had to come up with solutions and I sometimes sleep in my bathers and hoodie or gym gear so that I just need to get up and go in the morning because it's cold and getting changed is sometimes the only barrier I need to keep me in bed and skip exercise. But I have to focus on my motivation. The fact that I feel sooo much better when I do. The fact that I've lost weight and feel so much better about myself. The fact that there's still a lot more work to do on that. Towards the end of last year my motivation was at a real low. Coming off the back of Covid, I'd put on 13kg and I was bordering on the edge of depression again. That became my motivation because thoughts of using had begun to get strong again and I just don't want to go back there. Watching TV is cool but if I spend too much time sitting on the couch watching TV the black dog starts trying to sneak in the back door.

    I'm glad these thoughts are happening now because I can start to list my motivations to stay in front of it. I'd just love to get through a winter without having taken steps backwards again. I'm forced to start thinking about how else I'm going to occupy my time. I'd started to play golf again but during winter that's not always an option so what can I do to replace that??? When it's too cold for my beach walk what am I going to do??? When it's cold outside how am I going to avoid eating all the feel good winter food and packing on the kg's again??? How am I going to challenge myself???

    Maybe it's jigsaw puzzles and reading books. Maybe it's ten pin bowling and snooker or pool. Maybe it's putting on my ski jacket and getting out for a walk anyway because the fresh air and exercise is essential to maintaining positive mental health. Maybe it's looking up some healthier recipes and spending time learning new dishes to cook. What other suggestions do you have for me???

    These are all the questions I need to start asking.................what questions do you need to start asking??? How are you going to stay motivated????

    On the plus side...................it's only 18 weeks until Daylight Savings!!
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    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 548
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Mon Jun 06, 2022 6:35 pm

    I'll be posting all Monday Meetup stuff back in the original thread...........join us over there
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    IceOneBro
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2022 5:38 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup

    Thu Aug 04, 2022 6:48 pm

    Throughout life, you have to face difficult life situations that hurt the psycho-emotional state, after which the person may experience mental or neurological disorders. Unfortunately, medication is almost always prescribed in such cases, but there is also alternative help. These are primarily positive emotions from meeting with friends, traveling to new places, and spending time with pets. However, if the landlord of the apartment in which you live is against having a pet in the house, you can use the help of esaregistration.org and get special papers based on which it will be legal. I wish I could help you, and I hope I can.
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