Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

[Bamboo [facilitator]]

Hi everyone it's that time of night for Monday Meetup, we'll be live until 10pm AEST

With the long weekend approaching, what structure and strategies have you got in place to keep you on track with your recovery goals?

Share with us your favourite tips on how to politely decline a drink or what activities or hobbies you do to pass the time.

Perhaps you've just recently started speaking to a Counsellor. Let us know how your experience has been and it could shed some light for others who are building up the courage to do the same.

Welcome to our newest members @Milkway @bryson @Jimboss91 @WorriedLovedOne @CuPOFCakE let us know what has brought you to the forum. Do you have any questions for us? We look forward to hearing from you.

[Rexy]

Hey everyone,

Welcome to our Monday Meetup this evening, we'll be running until 10pm AEST

This is our weekly catch up, everyone is welcome to join in!

How has your week been? Share with us your story and topics you'd like to chat about.

Thanks!

[Help21]

Good evening from Brisbane, I would like to seek help. My fiancé and I regularly take ICE and I would like some help or tips on how to say No when he offers it to me or asks me to join him. Deep down I want to say No but it is at that point now where i just want to spend time with him and that is the only way it saddens me to see that he’s spending so much time away from our kids and I. There’s so much more to type but I’ll stop there for now

[Calvino01]

Hi there @Help21
Welcome to the forums! We really appreciate you sharing with us.
It can feel quite difficult when someone close to us also uses substances as that can be a major influence too.
Have you considered having a chat with your partner about your concerns/feelings and wanting to spend time with him without it being solely focused on using ice?
Maybe explaining that this is something you would like to change, might spark a constructive conversation.

Any other members have any thoughts or support for help21 at this time?

[Craig PW]

Howdy!

Thanks for checking in to Monday Meetup.........I'll be here till 10pm AEST to chat about whatever is on your mind.

As a little bit of background for you I've been in recovery for about 5 and a half years now and my addictions spanned numerous substances and behaviours. It took a long time for me to get on top of things but life is a whole lot better now.

I've spent the last three years working in the Drug and Alcohol field and learn from those I work with every day.........both staff and clients.

If you've got questions I'm happy to share and offer whatever advice I can.

I definitely don't have all the answers.......... but I've got my personal experience and that of those I work with to draw on .

So it's Monday Meetup..............what's going on for you? How's the week been? How was your weekend? How can I help??

[Deyfhob]

Howdy

Not a lot happening for me tonight. In a lot of pain from teeth issues which were caused from substance abuse so right now just trying to take my mind off it.

[Deyfhob]

How did you go about finding new friends once you started your recovery? As I’m sure you know friends circle is something that once you realise you have an addiction needs to change, as keeping the same circle can lead to relapsing, so I’m interested to know what steps you took for this?

Cheers

[Keita]

Haven't had alcohol for a month and a half now. I feel like I'm coping so far. I've had days where the sun was shining and the bbq was blazing and I could have done with a nice cold beer in my hand but I know never ends at just one. I sometimes find myself thinking "damn i could do with a beer right now" but as fast as the thought comes, it goes away. So I'm taking it day by day. This has probably been the first time I've gone cold turkey with alcohol willingly. The other times, I've been pregnant, so obviously I stopped when that happened.
But, it's still going. So I suppose that's worth celebrating.

[Craig PW]

So I thought I might share what I struggle with most about the weekends.............balance..........I'm constantly trying to find the right balance. Sometimes I plan too much and after a busy week I feel all this perceived pressure I've placed on myself to get everything done. The reality is that it doesn't actually matter how much I get done.........as long as I get through the day safely it's been successful. I know that sounds really cliché but it's it's the truth and the longer I go in recovery the more I understand it. Ironically, the longer I go in recovery the more I think I should have this all worked out by now too.
The other side of the coin and probably the more dangerous side is when I don't have enough planned and I get bored.........or worse.......I get bored and lonely. I feel like I just want the weekend to chill out and do nothing but nothing is the worst thing I can do. Nothing leaves me feeling unfulfilled and by the time Monday rolls around I feel like I wasted the weekend and that starts my week off badly because I'm down on myself for wasting two days off. Starting the week in a negative frame of mind is never a good thing.
So what's the answer????...........I plan things to do and I prioritise as I go. I allow myself the freedom to change my plans and fit some nothing time in if that feels right but I always try to have some form of achievement in there somewhere. Whether that's mow the lawns, get out for a bush or beach walk, fix something around the house (or rather make it a little less broken because I'm a hopeless handyman)............it just doesn't matter. All I know is that if I go into the weekend without a plan I always come out the other side feeling like I wasted an opportunity.
So my advice is to plan and plan to achieve something. Reflect on it too and work out what you can do next weekend to build on what you've started or to adjust the balance in the right direction.

What gets you about the weekend?

[Deyfhob]

@Craig PW i have to agree with the being bored and lonely, it my biggest struggle right now is that I’m so lonely, then I start to think too much and despise myself and the self loathing starts, ugh it’s definitely hard

[Deyfhob]

@Keita i think it is very much worth celebrating, well done. You should be proud of yourself

[Craig PW]

Hi Defyhob,

So true..........you gotta find a new network. It took time but for me 12 step recovery played a big part. I was going to three or four meetings a week and got involved by getting service positions. This got me talking and learning from those with strong recovery programs in place and they helped keep me on the right path. I shared my struggles with them and they shared their experiences with me. Who better to learn from than someone who's been through it. I found people to call when I was struggling, meet up for a coffee and we'd support each other. I know 12 step recovery isn't for everyone so I'd recommend finding some other Peer Network. SMART Recovery is great if you haven't checked it out I'd highly recommend you do.

The other thing is putting yourself out there and getting back to a sport or hobbie you used to do. Whether it's tennis, footy, gym, learning to play an instrument, skating, fishing, collecting, photography, bushwalking or whatever else you're into, finding a club or group of people to do it with is what will help keep you motivated. This isn't always easy, you gotta get vulnerable and look for clubs or groups through google but once you do you'll find some likeminded people and start enjoying yourself again.

Meetup is a great app where you can find all sorts of activities and groups to join. I used it for a couple of things and found it really helpful. Like all things online though, use your judgment and do your research before just meeting people you don't know. Trust your instincts and talk to others about you plans to stay safe.

So ask yourself the questions.......what have I stopped doing that I used to do to have fun?? What have I always wanted to do but haven't tried????

Challenge yourself and see what happens. I hope this helps and I'd love some feedback and to know what you're thinking about giving a go. Keep me posted on what works and what doesn't but don't give up trying.

I'm massive on not trying to do everything alone. Whether it's a Peer Group for recovery or some other activity you're interested in, not doing it alone is key to staying safe.

[Craig PW]

Awesome work @Keita!!!

A month and a half is an amazing and definitely worth celebrating!!! Staying strong on a sunny day with the BBQ going is not an easy thing to achieve, especially early on.

What I love most about what you said is the recognition that it never just ends in one for you. That's something I have to remind myself all the time because if I start there is no stopping and it's only going to end in eventual disaster for me. Day by day is how it's done and I used to hate that saying "A day at a time" but it's the simple truth..........and simple makes recovery easier.

Can I ask how you're filling your time and staying motivated?

[Craig PW]

@Deyfhob , just wondering if you have numbers to call when that self loathing starts?

Directline is an awesome number to keep in your phone and call in times like those 1800 888 236. It's confidential too so if it's not in your contacts take a few seconds and put it in there

[Craig PW]

Will wind it up for now.........Thanks @Keita and @Deyfhob for joining me. I'll be doing the Monday Meetups moving forwards from here so I hope you can check in next week and keep me updated on how things are going for you