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  • Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    For friends and family of people with substance problems. Connect with others here to share support and advice today.
    User avatar
    Vik
    Posts: 171
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:54 pm

    Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Mon Jan 21, 2019 2:05 pm

    This is a great place to get started.

    Image
    Hit reply and perhaps start by letting us know
    1. A hobby or interest you have, and
    2. A favourite inspiring quote (if you have one).
    0 x
    User avatar
    Vik
    Posts: 171
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:54 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Mon Jan 21, 2019 2:23 pm

    I’ll get us started!
    I’m Vik, the community manager here, and I'm really excited to get this community going!

    I have lots of plants that I look after so you could call that a hobby,
    And a quote that I love is “If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda.
    It reminds me to think about how I am looking at the things and to appreciate things going on around me every day :D
    2 x
    Handsome Llama
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2019 4:15 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Feb 05, 2019 4:20 pm

    Hello Vik, My name is Jenny and I am writing to find out what I can do to help my partner. His habit has got so bad I can no longer live with him and I don't like living without him, so I want to know what I can do to help make things better. At this point he blames me for everything and anything, his paranoid delusions are very self destructive and very hurtful to me. I am hurt, lost angry, depressed, hopeful, lots of things but essentially very sad to see the man I love succumb to such a senseless waste of his life. Please advise. Thank you for being out there. Jenny
    2 x
    Jack23
    Posts: 115
    Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2019 4:12 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Feb 05, 2019 9:41 pm

    @Handsome Llama

    Hi Jenny
    Welcome to the forum and thank you sharing your experiences.
    I'm sorry to read that you are going through a difficult time, it is very hard to see someone you care about and love lose themselves. It is important to seek supports for yourself at this stage. Please continue to share your story and hopefully other members will respond soon.
    Take care and all the best.
    jack23
    0 x
    Amanda 565
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2019 2:51 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Fri Feb 08, 2019 2:58 pm

    Hi I've just left my partner due to his meth addiction I'm so lost I want to be there for him but I don't know if he wants me there. His on dating sites looking for a relationship and telling girls he didn't love me but then has been telling me he loves me and wants it to work and get clean. But I'm confused why his still holding onto me when I left, when I was there i tried so hard and he just pushed me away
    0 x
    User avatar
    Vik
    Posts: 171
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:54 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Mon Feb 11, 2019 4:19 pm

    Welcome to the forum @Amanda 565, and thank you for your post!
    So glad to have you here.

    Sounds like a really tough situation to be in, I'm glad you've reached out. Perhaps the community has some ideas for you on ways you can look after and care for yourself at this time?

    Looking forward to reading about how you're going soon.
    0 x
    User avatar
    debsds
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:04 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:10 am

    Hi I am Deb. I am the Mother of a man aged 34 with metal health issues and drug use.
    To make matters worse he is in Perth and I am in Sydney.
    I am struggling everyday to maintain my life, I am someone who copes, but watching him
    go down hill is breaking my heart.
    Sometimes I just want to scream. I hope this forum will give me some insight.
    Thank you
    1 x
    User avatar
    Vik
    Posts: 171
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:54 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Feb 19, 2019 12:41 pm

    Hi @debsds, welcome to the forums! Thank you for your post.
    I love your avatar image - very warm :)

    I can definitely understand that that's a really difficult situation to be in, well done for reaching out.
    Looking forward to this community growing and for you to meet more parents who understand where you are and to share support.

    Looking after yourself is really important, and sometimes something that doesn't come as a priority when concerned about others. Are there some things that you do to try to look after yourself sometimes? How are you feeling this week?

    Vik
    0 x
    PENGUUN
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue Apr 09, 2019 1:39 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Apr 09, 2019 1:47 pm

    Hi,
    I live with a 32 days sober alcoholic who is also the father of my 2 younger children. He doesnt go to meetings which arent for every one i get that. However last night he blamed my for drinking problem. He had been a drinker for as long as i have known him 10year. Only til recently did he wake up and seek help from doc. So now he is on tabs abd seeing a psych once a fortnight.
    My question is how do I stop reacting to his constant bullsh#t, pushing my buttons etc etc. He keeps bringing up past arguments and wont move on. Telling me i have anger issues only because of him. I am going insane. Help me
    0 x
    Brene
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2019 10:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Apr 09, 2019 3:59 pm

    Hello @PENGUUN ,

    Thanks for reaching out to our community.

    It sounds like a really difficult situation to be in. We're appreshaite you connecting with our community for support.

    Looking after yourself is really important, and sometimes something that doesn't come as a priority when concerned about others. Are there some things that you do to try to look after yourself sometimes?

    Thank you :)
    Brene
    0 x
    Hello1612
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:23 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:35 pm

    Hi Guys,
    I’m not sure if I’m posting this in the right place. My name is Kate and my boyfriend of 2 years is a “former” heroin addict and is on the methadone program. Unfortunately, I found out this week that he has been using. I’m so out of my depth with anything drug related and I’m not sure what steps I need to take to help him. I want to be supportive and understanding but I have no idea where to start. I’m hoping someone in this forum can draw on their personal experiences and give me some advice.

    Thanks so much
    0 x
    Blippi
    Posts: 50
    Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 11:29 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Thu Apr 18, 2019 1:41 pm

    Hello @Hello1612

    Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post.

    It sounds like a really difficult situation for you and your boyfriend to be in, It is hard to know what to do specially if you feel you're like out of your depth.

    Hi @debsds , hope you are well. What are some strategies that have work for you in terms of supporting a loved one?

    Stay in contact with us and keep checking in for more support.

    Blippi
    0 x
    Jelm
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2019 4:19 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Thu Oct 03, 2019 4:27 pm

    Hi my name is Jenn, and I have a brother in law that is an addict and everything that goes with that, lying, stealing, feeling sorry/angry etc etc. My husband, his brother, feels he needs to, what I call enabling him, helps him all the time, as we all have, then turns around and abused him verbally, then my husband gets over him till he again cors back sorry for everything, wants to Ikill himself, and the cycle starts again. I can see what it does to my husband, but I sound mean when I say that his brother needs to stand on his own 2 feet etc etc. What do you do, I wish the mental health could keep him in for longer, cause it's never long enough. I needed to vent that, and more. 🤔
    0 x
    Hercules
    Posts: 38
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 4:07 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Thu Oct 03, 2019 4:55 pm

    Hi Jenn,

    Hercules here, one of the Counselling Online forum moderators. Welcome to the community, and thank-for you sharing your post.
    I'm sorry to hear of your experiences, it sounds like you're in a very difficult position. Often people in these circumstances experience a cluster of difficult emotions such as helplessness and disempowerment, particularly when they view a loved one lose themselves within the vortex of addictive behaviour.
    Looking after yourself is really important, and sometimes something that doesn't come as a priority when concerned about others. How do you self-care and show yourself compassion?
    It is important to seek supports for yourself at this stage. Please continue to share your story and hopefully other members will respond soon and shed light on strategies that have been helpful/have been unhelpful for them.
    Take care and wishing you all the very best.

    Kind regards,

    Hercules
    0 x
    Jelm
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2019 4:19 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:11 pm

    Thanks Hercules it's nice to say what's on your mind without fear of hurting someone's feelings or them thinking I dont know how it feels to have a brother in trouble. I dont and I dont know how I would be if it was my sister, or child, I would want to be there for them. But many a Dr Phil shows have taught me one thing and that's enabling someone is actually hurting them and not letting them have a chance to get to the depths and come back up again, when all you want to do is loolook after them and keep them alive. If anyone can give me advice on how to get my hubby to see that when his brother continually asks for help, which we have done in the past, that he needs to say no.. His brother is a mess, but we have put him into so many rehabs, caravans, mens accommodation etc, that he thinks he can do what he likes, cause my hubby will fix it. I'm tired of fighting over this, so I dont say my opinion, just listen these days. If I'm wrong then please tell me, Im not afraid of admitting Im wrong. This is out of my scope of practice, I'm a general nurse, not a mental health nurse. But thank you for this forum, It feels comfortable here, dont know why, but feel this is where I should be. 🙂
    0 x

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