Help me fight the urge

[Betterme1]

Hey guys , good luck and I wish you a life free from ice and seed it sows.

Straight to the point , I'm done with it, its pure evil, But I know ill get the urge and cave into it . From people who quit ice alone, without the support of friends and family how did you fight the urge? What's the most extreme thing you did to stop you from relapsing? How long does it take for the urge to truly disappear. I'd use for 1 week straight then nothing for 3 or 2weeks then I'm back on .

[quitequiet]

Such a great question @Betterme1 ! Am keen to see people's responses.

[Lhiver]

heya @Betterme1 I just wan to start off by saying great question and also thank you for sharing where you're at and the challenge of lapses and relapses, I know many others in this forum can empathise with that constant struggling. It's always important to keep in mind that lapses and relapses are part of the recovery journey, they'r frustrating, but it can be useful to see them as a learning experience, what worked and what didn't, why this specific trigger etc.

I'm going to tag some members and our peer workers here as they may have some words of and ice for you about cravings!

@initae89 @Katiee @PnorkelPW @ScorpionPW

let us know how you're travelling. We're here to support you

[PnorkelPW]

@Betterme1 welcome aboard and I love that you’re jumping straight in with the questions

I’ll be straight up and say that my addictions were many and varied but ice wasn’t one of them. What I can tell you though is that urges are urges and whether it was substance addiction or addictive behaviours like gambling or sex the urges are just as hard to work through. I’ve spent the last number of years working with others living with addiction and surfing the urges comes down to a few simple things…………the trouble is that doing them doesn’t come simply.

I’ll admit I’m a bit reluctant to answer this but I will anyway.

What I can tell you is that urges subside over time. The thing is when you’re in the grip of a craving that can is near impossible to believe. Every thought, every bone in your body, every second is consumed with using. The other thing is that even if you get through an urge……………they come back. That’s why the term “urge surfing” is used………the waves keep coming and going.

I remember having cold showers at 3am to try and shock my body into a different state and give me something else to think about other than using. I went and stayed at my mum’s for a few days at one point and did a mini home detox because I knew I’d be kept on a close watch. That worked because of the change of environment. It’s not real extreme but I’ve also grabbed a pen and paper at times and written about why I have the urge. Writing about it has helped change my perspective and prevent me from acting on the urge. The things I’ve found most helpful have involved other people but you’re asking about getting through it alone…………I’ve enlisted the help of others at all hours of the morning making phone calls and heading round for 4am cups of tea. Maybe enlisting the help of others is the extreme for you???? The hardest way to beat addiction is alone………….anyone who’s been through it will attest to that.

You know what else can help get through an urge………..masturbation. Extreme?? It works!! Like the cold shower it changes your body's physiological response and anything that does that is a winner. Maybe a bike ride, some push ups, cartwheels or any other form of exercise will help. A cold wet tea towel over your eyes is a good one too.

You may have heard of the four D’s……….Distract, Delay, Drink Water, Decide. It might sound dumb but it works. Things like going for a walk, listening to music, cooking a meal, playing an instrument, drawing a picture, gardening, making something in the garage…………these are all things that can help you move through an urge. Getting through the first one proves you can get through another one. Getting through it alone though really adds to the degree of difficulty. There are help lines out there to call and they’re a great way to distract you and help get through the urge. If distracting isn’t working you can delay using. Don’t use straight away………..say you’ll do it in half an hour. If you can get through that half hour why not try another half hour?? And another??? Drinking some water can change things and give yourself some more space. When you’ve tried all that decide………….decide if you really want to give in to the urge. Again………..this is where doing it alone is so much harder. If there’s someone you can call to talk you through the urge it can be a major help.

I’ve been in recovery for 6 years now and the urges still come and go……….the thing is that now I’ve learnt what works for me and what doesn’t. If I’m being completely honest with you I’ve been fighting gambling urges for weeks and if I don’t speak to someone about it soon I reckon I’ll crumble……….and if I crack there’s a good chance I lose everything I’ve worked so hard to build for the last 6 years. All addictions have the potential to ruin our lives.

Try working with a counsellor on working out when the urges come, what drives them and what you can do work through them. Something is driving it after having two or three weeks off so if you can figure that out you’ll be in a good position.

I hope some of this has helped. I know not all of it will but if even a little bit of it does then that’s a good thing.

Let me know if you have any other questions. It’d be great to hear your response to this too if you feel like it…………be sure to tag me in the response if you do.

Good luck surfing the urges

[initae89]

Dear @Betterme1

I am an addict. and Ice was the evil that sucked me into addiction. I struggled with it for years and I still do.

For me, it has been a long goodbye. And I don't know for sure that I will ever be done with it. I get what you mean - using it on and off and fighting the urges that came with it. The interim periods, when I was not using, I always felt great. Much better than any high I got whilst using. So I hold onto that. I'm more creative. I'm more compassionate. I'm a better friend and colleague. I'm a so much better person. And I want to be that guy.

Some of the things I've done recently - I changed my phone number and deleted all my old contacts. I closed bank accounts. I put almost all extra money away into a fund that I cannot easily access. I also threw away anything that was ever associated with using. That included all of the paraphernalia, sex toys and even some clothing too.

I also try to arrest any urges I have before they become big. Someone here told me that you have a choice - the choice to feed the addict or the choice to feed the non-addict. So passing thoughts may come and go. But I try not to feed them. And I've used the Counselling chat line here. I still have not worked up the courage to go to a meeting, or use the phone counselling service. But so far, when I felt weak, the Counsellor on the chat line helped me affirm my decision to stay in recovery.

[Leonarda]

Some great suggestions and useful strategies, thanks for sharing @initae89 .. it is a super difficult journey and as you said, thoughts come and go, with some staying around that nudge you. But it is about not feeding the nudgers and thinking about maybe getting some further help too, to stay in recovery... good stuff

[ScorpionPW]

Hey @Betterme1, thanks so much for reaching out and you raise such a valid point, it's so hard to do it alone.

For me, I couldn't do it alone. Everytime I would stop using I would be alone and it would only be a matter of time before I picked up again. It was a cycle of reaching a rock bottom, detoxing, trying to stay away from it but at the end of the day I didn't put much effort into changing my life, I just stopped using and thought that would be enough.

Even without the support of friends or family there are still ways to not be alone through the process of recovery and find new connections. I found solace in 12 step groups and getting help, support and guidance from people who had been where I was but who had found a new to live was what I needed. I needed to find my feet in the world, spend time with like minded people who weren't using anymore, discover who I am and then learn how to love that person.

For me, the key wasn't just fighting the urges, white knuckling it and hoping for the best. It was completely changing every part of my external world and rebuilding from the ground up. I've come to discover that the drug use itself was only a symptom of my addiction and the only hope I have of not picking up again is to maintain a recovery that is stronger than my addiction.

I hope you continue to share your journey with us and if you ever want any info on any support groups and how to access them or if you just need to reach out we are always here

[Betterme1]

Hey guys , I haven't touched ice since I first posted my question. So since December, but I have used cocaine about 3 times. I have come to the conclusion that beating ice and it's urges you need to be completely sober from an other vice especially alcohol. Sober life is key.

So as of today I quit alcohol and etc etc

[Calvino01]

Well done @Betterme1 !!

Have you got any counselling support?

[Ceal]

Good question finding a good psychologist is hit and miss so
To
Speak where does one a at tart so I’ve just been join in f my xommjnirh online programs where I feel not judged and it’s very interactive

[Ceal]

Good question finding a good psychologist is hit and miss so
To
Speak where does one a at tart so I’ve just been join in f my xommjnirh online programs where I feel not judged and it’s very interactive

[teapot]

@Ceal I usually recommend the Australian Psychological Society, they have a search engine where you can search by specialisation and location. Of course, this doesn't eliminate the human element and you could still end up meeting with a psych who you just don't gel with, but it's a place to start!

Once you've found a psych who fits your needs on paper, you're best to give their office a call to find out about their wait times and fees to make sure it's going to be accessible for you. Then you can take their name and contact details to your GP and request a referral to them as part of a Mental Health Care Plan to receive a medicare rebate for the first ten sessions.

It's certainly a lot of running around, especially if you're struggling in general, but if you can chip away at it bit by bit you could end up with the support you need to move forward.

[Betterme1]

No counselling as of yet. I truly believe I can do this with will power. I'm the king of my castle so I Truly believe I can achieve this without a physiologist

[Scamps]

Hi @Betterme1 ,not everyone will want or need to see a psychologist or other alcohol or other drug counsellor to stop. It is a choice we get make. Many people will stop on their own, others will seek professional support, and others may use peer support programs. It is great to have the choice and to be able to change your mind if you need to. I am pleased you are feeling positive about stopping under your own steam - without a counsellor

Scamps