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  • Relationships and Addiction!! Is it true what the majority say ??

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2019 1:11 pm

    Relationships and Addiction!! Is it true what the majority say ??

    Fri Nov 15, 2019 1:50 pm

    I seem to be a super magnetised sucker for all that is bad/traumatic and painfully excruciatingly, ugly and vile, whilst walking this path of shadow dominated addiction. I’m a newbie to it all and for the most part feel way in over my head. Childishly, foolishly, ignorantly and unwisely wearing my heart upon my sleeve for the majority of my 32years and raised in a very different world I’m repeatedly knocked down, pulled down, walk right into repeated entrapments (sometimes by my own doing) and then wonder why I’m finding it harder and more painful to rise above, overcome and climb out of the deep pit that I’ve banished and sentenced myself to! Knowing at the same time “this is not who I am or who I was, What the flipping frick are you doing?”. I’ve limited so many relationships I’m pretty much down to two main supports which isn’t good, one my parent; the other a drug connection, semi long term, complicated situationship; which started off amazing a new and charming and exciting however whatever the circumstances surrounding the approx 2 week or month “honeymoon” phase was exchanged rapidly to a relationship that at my very core terrifies me, with all variables of apparent issues and insecurities, shocking communication and trust, double standards galore and tit for tat... to top it all off the inability to self reflect and then take accountability and responsibility for each Individuals “poopoo” AAAAAHHHH.... Is this a common scenario? Has anyone experienced anything like this before? Is the relationship even at all genuine, true or real???
    Would love to hear experiences or thoughts and opinions
    🙏🏽 thank you .....
    1 x
    User avatar
    Senior Member
    Posts: 206
    Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 12:54 pm

    Re: Relationships and Addiction!! Is it true what the majority say ??

    Mon Nov 18, 2019 9:30 am

    Hi Junies, welcome and thank you very much for sharing your story.

    I know it feels like you've isolated yourself, but I wonder if you'd be suprised how well it might go if you reached out to an old friend? There may be others here who can give you some advice about having a "situationship" (love that term!) similar to what it sounds like you're in right now.

    But I wondered if you've thought about some kind of goals at the moment for how you'd like things to change? what might that look like?

    Take care
    2 x
    Posts: 33
    Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 9:19 am

    Re: Relationships and Addiction!! Is it true what the majority say ??

    Sun Apr 05, 2020 9:47 am

    Love the word situationship. I hope you are doing ok Junies. Be your own best friend. Addictions suck but can be overcome. Sending positive healing to you. I'm confronting an alcohol addiction. One day at a time with a structure of things to do seems to help a lot.
    1 x
    Community Builder
    Posts: 78
    Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2020 9:04 am

    Re: Relationships and Addiction!! Is it true what the majority say ??

    Sat Dec 05, 2020 2:12 pm

    Hey [mention]Gizelle[/mention]
    How are you going? I love how you were taking one day at a time - this is such a useful strategy and it helps me too!
    Confronting an alcohol addiction is brave stuff.... I'd love to hear about how you're going.
    Remember we are here for you 24/7 on the webchat and the forum, no matter whats going on for you we are here.
    Take care, camembert
    0 x
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2021 9:52 pm

    Re: Relationships and Addiction!! Is it true what the majority say ??

    Tue Mar 30, 2021 9:52 pm

    This is why partners should support each other when it comes to addictions. No matter how much counseling you will have the will that you apply to your other half is the most important one. We had counseling done a few years ago with counsellinginmelbourne.com.au to deal with a few marriage issues that started popping up and one of the best lessons was to support and advise each other at all times. I had an alcohol problem at that point and my wife was being judgmental instead of supportive. When she started accepting that we have to go through this together I was able to deal with it once and for all!
    1 x
    Craig PW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 95
    Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2020 1:35 pm

    Re: Relationships and Addiction!! Is it true what the majority say ??

    Mon Apr 26, 2021 9:19 pm

    Hi @Junies

    I'm wondering how you're going with the relationship/situationship stuff?

    My experience was that in the early stages of trying to make change with drugs and alcohol I couldn't entertain the thoughts of a relationship. I had to concentrate on my own stuff before I had the inner strength and capability of taking on someone else's too. It was hard enough getting my own emotions under control without being triggered by relationship issues. If I can offer some advice it would be to concentrate on you for a while. Being down to one parental supoort might be better than the toxicity of a "situationship" that keeps sending you backwards???
    0 x

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