Thanks Hercules it's nice to say what's on your mind without fear of hurting someone's feelings or them thinking I dont know how it feels to have a brother in trouble. I dont and I dont know how I would be if it was my sister, or child, I would want to be there for them. But many a Dr Phil shows have taught me one thing and that's enabling someone is actually hurting them and not letting them have a chance to get to the depths and come back up again, when all you want to do is loolook after them and keep them alive. If anyone can give me advice on how to get my hubby to see that when his brother continually asks for help, which we have done in the past, that he needs to say no.. His brother is a mess, but we have put him into so many rehabs, caravans, mens accommodation etc, that he thinks he can do what he likes, cause my hubby will fix it. I'm tired of fighting over this, so I dont say my opinion, just listen these days. If I'm wrong then please tell me, Im not afraid of admitting Im wrong. This is out of my scope of practice, I'm a general nurse, not a mental health nurse. But thank you for this forum, It feels comfortable here, dont know why, but feel this is where I should be.