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  • My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    Kate58
    Junior Member
    Posts: 18
    Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2020 8:19 pm

    My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Thu Sep 03, 2020 8:46 pm

    I work in a remote dry community yet am in town for a break for a week and spent night in hospital having drunk way to much and feeling very depressed I sent a note to my best friends asking to look after my kids.. then fell asleep pissed ! Ffs I am 58 and made a huge mess . I feel so embarrassed how do I get through facing people especially when I go back to the community next week. In here I can’t buy alcohol as I don’t have a permit so unless I go to the bar I can’t drink but I am hanging out for one. I black out when I do drink and I have just been 3 months without it yet I can’t control it when I get my hands on it. I have struggled with alcohol my whole life and depression and haven’t been taken my tablets . I even sent a letter to a friend that I have fallen out with explaining I am trying yet she never replied so basically I am feeling lots at the moment !!! I tried to go online chat today but got cut off
    1 x
    Dancer
    Member
    Posts: 67
    Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 1:12 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Fri Sep 04, 2020 12:06 am

    Hi @Kate58,

    Thanks for reaching out on the forums. From your post, it looks like alcohol use has been impacting a few different areas of your life. I can also see you've been struggling with urges to drink. What have you tried to do to manage some of the urges? was there anything that helped in the 3 months you were sober?

    Hopefully the forums will provide you with the support that you are after.
    1 x
    Kate58
    Junior Member
    Posts: 18
    Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2020 8:19 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Fri Sep 04, 2020 7:43 am

    Thanks when it’s not around I don’t drink simply and I don’t have withdrawals or anything and I feel better . I have realised my depression is worse when I do drink so it’s time now to get better and stay away from it . I was tempted every day to go to the bar this week but in a small town did not want to be seen by anyone . The best thing is I can’t buy it and bring home as I can drink myself silly whilst alone this my goal is not to do this and I have 3 days till I am due back in remote . I feel and look better without it but it has been a crutch for such a long time to kill the pain and put me to sleep . I am trying my hardest to get well as I need to do it for my girls and for me I don’t want anymore hangovers and feeling like s))((() the next day .. like today I feel good and proud I have done it for four days when alcohol is in the bar 400 m away .
    1 x
    Tocaset
    Junior Member
    Posts: 11
    Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2020 11:50 am

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Fri Sep 04, 2020 9:21 am

    Hi Kate58


    It seems like you're doing well as you said" you feel good and proud and you have done it for four days when alcohol is in the bar 400 m away .
    " good on you Kate58
    2 x
    Kate58
    Junior Member
    Posts: 18
    Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2020 8:19 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Fri Sep 04, 2020 3:18 pm

    tocaset .., Thanks getting there so far so good today. been by the pool exercising and watched Shirley Valentine. When covid is over ...
    1 x
    camembert
    Junior Member
    Posts: 18
    Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2020 9:04 am

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Fri Sep 04, 2020 4:03 pm

    @Kate58 I love the movie Shirely Valentine!
    Exercising and watching movies are great ways to keep busy and distracted - good on you!
    1 x
    Fossilize
    Junior Member
    Posts: 5
    Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2020 3:19 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Fri Sep 04, 2020 8:56 pm

    @Kate58
    You know what you want
    You know your kids need you
    Obviously you can stay off the grog when it's not readily available
    Keep fighting...never quit
    You'll find a way to come out the winner
    Be proud of the way you're fighting
    We all are...these forums let us all get crap out of our minds we wouldn't have the guts to tell people face to face
    Keep being honest about your struggle
    And never think you're not worth fighting for.
    3 x
    Kate58
    Junior Member
    Posts: 18
    Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2020 8:19 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Fri Sep 04, 2020 9:31 pm

    Thankyou Yes I am glad I found this . Nice word s to hear fossil. Yep I am going fight for the first time in my life and not let myself down as I am a good person just got to keep being positive .
    Marissa Peer I am enough on you tube has been helping too .
    2 x
    Bamboo [facilitator]
    Community Manager
    Posts: 60
    Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:46 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Wed Sep 09, 2020 5:34 pm

    Hi @Kate58 just checking in with you to see how you are going today? :)
    0 x
    SuzieQ
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2020 11:03 am

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Fri Sep 11, 2020 9:32 am

    This is about my third day here. Today is going to be really hard for me I usually have a bottle of wine on a Friday night. Tonight I think its gonna be a cup of tea and some house work.
    1 x
    Calvino01
    Senior Member
    Posts: 110
    Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2019 4:05 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Fri Sep 11, 2020 3:37 pm

    Hi @SuzieQ glad to hear that you have a plan to occupy your time tonight. I understand that Friday nights being the end of the working week can be quite triggering. If you are struggling reach out to people or keep us updated on the forums!
    0 x
    User avatar
    tacocat
    Junior Member
    Posts: 18
    Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2020 9:54 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Fri Sep 11, 2020 7:07 pm

    Hi @SuzieQ

    I'd also like to jump in and wish you all the best. Tonight sounds like a challenging one for you.... there will be support here if you need it.
    1 x
    Kate58
    Junior Member
    Posts: 18
    Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2020 8:19 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Sun Sep 13, 2020 9:23 pm

    2 weeks from my awful night and pleased to say am feeling much much better . Haven’t had a drink but can’t get one anyway as it’s a dry community. Mind you I heard yelling today with someone saying you had too much beer!!!!!!!!! I started exercising at least 15 min before I eat !!! So I have to at least do that much. I have had a couple of moments where I had to take a deep breath calm myself and get through it . Thanks everyone
    5 x
    Calvino01
    Senior Member
    Posts: 110
    Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2019 4:05 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Mon Sep 14, 2020 3:03 am

    Keep up the great work! @Kate58 :D
    3 x
    Kate58
    Junior Member
    Posts: 18
    Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2020 8:19 pm

    Re: My first time here ffs this is going to be hard . I

    Mon Sep 14, 2020 8:25 pm

    I am feeling very angry towards the girl that rang the police when they couldn’t find me as I had my phone on silent . She is I think ignoring me since I got back and I am feeling out of sorts about what to do . She is acting like my mother . Any suggestions ? :
    0 x

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