Welcome to our online peer support community. Connect with others making change in their alcohol and other drug use. Join our online community today.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Anonymous. Professionally moderated. Free of judgement.

    Join us Mondays at 8pm - 10pm AEST for Monday Meetup.

    Your posts will automatically appear live on the forum.
  • What would you tell your younger self?

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    HelpfulBee
    Community Builder
    Posts: 191
    Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2019 12:59 pm

    What would you tell your younger self?

    Thu Jan 21, 2021 7:19 pm

    Reflection is an important part of recovery. Hindsight is both a blessing and a curse. I like to think that we always did the best we could with the information we had, and if we made a decision we regret now, there was a really good reason we made that decision at the time.

    For many people, on their journey's of recovery, this thought will pop up:

    What would I tell my younger self?

    When you think about this question, how do you feel? Are you angry or sad? Or grateful?

    Are you kind to your younger self? What did that person need to know at the time? What would have helped? Do you forgive that younger version of you?

    So I ask you, my friends here at Counselling Online, if you had the chance, what you you tell your younger self?

    We would love to hear your thoughts on this and be able to support each other through this part of our journeys.

    -HelpfulBee


    [mention]Simply me[/mention] [mention]Starlee[/mention] [mention]Dontknowatall[/mention] [mention]Cloudy[/mention] [mention]NewDayNewStart[/mention] [mention]Strugglingmethaddict[/mention] [mention]Never_more_lost[/mention] [mention]EdwardPayne[/mention] [mention]Chickadee[/mention] [mention]Melbourne_Modular[/mention] [mention]Just existing[/mention] [mention]KLS[/mention]
    2 x
    Simply me
    Member
    Posts: 69
    Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:51 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Fri Jan 22, 2021 6:43 am

    Heylo [mention]HelpfulBee[/mention]
    Great question.....
    I have a number of younger selves...as you do....

    I remember a very determined hands on hips saying No 5 year old who survived, an off with the faeries 9 year old who believed and preferred their worlds to 'reality', a teenager who didn't particularly want to be here, and began to find rather unhealthy ways to absent....

    I was diagnosed in my early twenties in a very straight ass medicial model way by a psychiatrist, as if I was absent from the room. Told that i had a chronic degenerative brain disorder which would worsen with age, being schizophrenia. Noice one. Go the hope n inspiration folks. My family were told, she'll make it, or she won't, you need to get on with your lives either way. Then came being heavily medicated, oh joy...

    Hhhmm, what would I say to them? I love a good strengths based model these days, and that's what I would emphasise. Bugger the deficits, ok so they keep us humble at times, but what resilience our strengths give us eh?! I still call upon that 5 year old, that 9 year old and their energies, I am learning to be present slowly for that teenager, I still rebel against that verdict from my 20's. I have the same strengths I was born with, they just flow closer to the surface now it seems. I would ask to my younger selves questions, what is your strength? what's your passion? what ignites those embers? what do you injoy creating?

    I feel like you [mention]HelpfulBee[/mention] rather than 'telling' I'd ask. Fair enough teenage self might tell me to shove it, because there's so much 'telling' in our culture, and it's not always a story of any beauty. Altho shifting some, much of it is hollow, hurtfull even, or was /is to me. It's not been until I began to write my own story, which has it's roots in those younger selves questions, that I began to make any sense of life in this time n place. Every day I'm writing it, rewriting it, editing, scribbling out, beginning again, immersing...

    I also still, like my 5 year old self, love hearing stories that touch...

    Scuse if I went off on a tangent...
    Blessings n good vibes....
    2 x
    User avatar
    tacocat
    Community Builder
    Posts: 110
    Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2020 9:54 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Sat Jan 23, 2021 4:01 pm

    If there was one piece of advice I could tell to my younger self, and this really could be at any point prior to today is; Go with the flow.
    I feel like I've always tried to structure things in a way that I think will best suit today, or a future that I predict will happen. Being that I don't own or know how to operate a crystal ball, I have no idea how things should be beyond where I am right now. Then, when the future or present moment doesn't match my prediction, I rage against it and try to wrestle it into submission. That only leaves me feeling depleted of energy and no better off then where I was a few seconds ago.

    Hopefully that's not too cryptic, and somewhat relatable for others.
    2 x
    Bamboo [facilitator]
    Community Manager
    Posts: 223
    Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:46 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Wed Jan 27, 2021 3:46 pm

    This is such a great question [mention]HelpfulBee[/mention] and thank you for sharing [mention]Simply me[/mention] & [mention]tacocat[/mention] :)

    What would I tell my younger self?

    Take it one day at a time. Be patient and kind. Every experience good or bad there is a gift at the end - the lesson that's learned. Continue to grow and step out your comfort zone.
    1 x
    HelpfulBee
    Community Builder
    Posts: 191
    Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2019 12:59 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Thu Jan 28, 2021 3:13 pm

    I'd like to have a go at answering this one too!

    So, I think I would tell my younger self that there's no rush, to slow down, and take it all in. Everything will be ok. Be gentle and kind to yourself.

    It took me a while to work out that it didn't really matter what other people thought, and that I needed to do what made me happy, and what was important to me.

    When I think of my younger self, I feel compassion. I was always trying my best.
    1 x
    AnonNew
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2021 9:30 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Sun Feb 28, 2021 11:16 pm

    I was asked this recently, and my response (which shocked me a little) at the time was -

    "Nothing, there is nothing I could have told myself, that I wasn't told already. I didn't listen. So I wouldn't waist my time telling me anything knowing I wouldn't listen anyway" - I truly meant that at the time, and apart of me still feels that way today.

    When I think about this question, I don't feel angry or sad, but I do feel that it would probably be a waist of time. And its not because I was combating or aggressive or argumentative or anything, I just didn't believe anything anyone ever said to me. I always thought people who gave me advice had ulterior motives. That I was being purposely lead off course.

    Am I kind to my younger self? I believe so
    What did I need at the time? ......... someone to be an example, someone to look up to
    What would have helped? .... maybe having someone older to look up to, maybe someone like myself (who I am today).
    Do I forgive my younger self? Yes I do...

    After this exercise though, I still don't think I would tell myself anything... however I would walk right on in and lead by example instead.
    3 x
    Calvino01
    Community Builder
    Posts: 205
    Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2019 4:05 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Mon Mar 01, 2021 5:20 am

    Thats very insightful @AnonNew ! Sometimes these things are difficult to put into words.
    0 x
    pdm411
    Junior Member
    Posts: 28
    Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2021 1:00 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Mon Mar 01, 2021 10:33 pm

    There would be a lot I'd like to tell my younger self, whether or not he would listen!
    Embrace life, we only get one, chase your dreams and desires.
    Love unconditionally.
    Don't judge others, accept them as they are.
    Know your worth, don't let people walk over you.
    Be aware of alcohol, it can rob you of life.
    6 x
    User avatar
    doinit4ourkidz
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 3:33 am

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Sat Mar 06, 2021 6:06 am

    HelpfulBee wrote:
    Thu Jan 21, 2021 7:19 pm
    Reflection is an important part of recovery. Hindsight is both a blessing and a curse. I like to think that we always did the best we could with the information we had, and if we made a decision we regret now, there was a really good reason we made that decision at the time.

    For many people, on their journey's of recovery, this thought will pop up:

    What would I tell my younger self?

    When you think about this question, how do you feel? Are you angry or sad? Or grateful?
    Grateful to have survived when so many have not

    Are you kind to your younger self? What did that person need to know at the time? What would have helped? Do you forgive that younger version of you?
    I try to forgive my younger self but some days that is easier said than done .
    So I ask you, my friends here at Counselling Online, if you had the chance, what you you tell your younger self?
    I would tell her to slow down realize that every action would come at a price. Id tell me to be aware of whether I truly willing to pay the bill.
    We would love to hear your thoughts on this and be able to support each other through this part of our journeys.

    -HelpfulBee


    @Simply me @Starlee @Dontknowatall @Cloudy @NewDayNewStart @Strugglingmethaddict @Never_more_lost @EdwardPayne @Chickadee @Melbourne_Modular @Just existing @KLS
    Addiction toke my late teens and twenties but I toke the wheel in my thirties and if I can anyone can
    0 x
    Gizelle
    Member
    Posts: 33
    Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 9:19 am

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Sun Mar 07, 2021 12:23 pm

    Hello

    To my younger self: I am sending you a message through the timeline that has been me growing up from a newborn baby to the present day. Hang in there. You do a lot of good work re personal growth and looking after those you love. You deserve love and happiness. If it isn't there like you feel it isn't right now, I am sending you loving happy thoughts that includes huge amounts of emotional support. You are a very deep thinker and I am so proud of you always going back to being a positive person even though deep thinking leads to hell sometimes. Don't ever give up. People who know you really well, love and care for you. And remember, it's an imperfect place on Planet Earth and no one knows what this journey means, why we are here and what is the purpose. Well, the purpose is to learn to love or at least accept everyone where they are at, even if you don't like them, or they have hurt you deeply. I love you darling girl. You deserve to feel good about yourself at the very least.

    I haven't always reacted positively or been there for people either. I'd tell my younger self the importance of forgiveness. Forgiving oneself has to be achieved. Then we're all on the same page as human beings who are prone to hurting each other. I forgive you my younger self. Mostly you've been a person of integrity.
    1 x
    User avatar
    tacocat
    Community Builder
    Posts: 110
    Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2020 9:54 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Sun Mar 07, 2021 2:12 pm

    That was beautifully written @Gizelle You're quite a wordsmith!

    Forgiveness is incredibly important, and recognising that we are all flawed human being, spinning around on a big blue dot we call Earth.
    1 x
    Koala_85
    Moderator
    Posts: 83
    Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2019 11:19 am

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Mon Mar 08, 2021 8:08 pm

    Hi everyone welcome to tonight's Monday Meetup, our casual weekly catch up :) We will be live until 10pm AEST.

    Checking in with you to see how you went over the weekend?

    What are some tips or tricks you have for staying sober? Do you have much planned for the week?

    Tonight I thought we could focus on the concept of healthy ways to decrease stress.. what are some healthy distractions you might have which help reduce stress?
    1 x
    Gizelle
    Member
    Posts: 33
    Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 9:19 am

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Mon Mar 08, 2021 8:28 pm

    I recently confided in a friend about struggling with alcohol consumption sometimes and got judged and put down by her. I reckon be careful and make sure to keep supportive people around you. I will be extra careful in future. It took me awhile to bounce back.
    2 x
    User avatar
    teapot
    Moderator
    Posts: 49
    Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2020 2:54 pm

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Fri Mar 26, 2021 3:24 am

    I'm so sorry to hear about your experience, @Gizelle , it can be hard to know who we can trust and feel so isolating when our vulnerability is met with judgement.
    1 x
    Gizelle
    Member
    Posts: 33
    Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 9:19 am

    Re: What would you tell your younger self?

    Sun Mar 28, 2021 8:56 am

    Hello Teapoy
    Yes, being judged is hard to change into a positive learning experience. I think I have managed to do so. It seems that no matter how much work we do as a society eg., policies & procedures at work based in legislation, most people are judgemental and into one upmanship. Maybe it's a survival mechanism. It's not OK. I do it too. Anyway I've cut down on drinking but last night I had a bottle of wine :roll:
    Thank you for listening, Gisele
    1 x

    Return to “Change Makers”