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  • Relationships, the beauty and the beast.....

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    Simply me
    Member
    Posts: 69
    Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:51 pm

    Relationships, the beauty and the beast.....

    Mon Jun 07, 2021 3:01 am

    Heylo folks,
    Wee hours touching base. Oft up around such times....

    My fella and I had a shamozzle. Instead of calmly n articulately asking 'honey i need some space for a bit', I pushed him away by losing my cool. Humung bean, vulnerable to emotional mishaps. It's been a stressfull time for both of us of lately, last month or so with his suffering full on health challenges, and I do believe we're doing the best we can under these circumstances....

    So, when he left n the urge to pick up came, was no surprise. Answer, nope. Yet, when old patterns of behaviour resurface it can be confronting to witness them in the light of sobriety. Shaming, confronting. My response was to want to numb it, make it go away. I went to bed, so boring some voice said, yet safe, cosy....cat curled up besides me....

    He didn't want to 'chat'. Ouch. We all have a right to our feelings says sensible self, heart self goes ouch. Now, the aspect that's got me this far kicks in. Come on girl, you created space, now utilize it to nourish that core in this time you have. Life goes on. So I called upon support people who did feel able to talk. I crafted. I hid from the world in my sanctuary space. Still there, still processing. About to turn on an audio book for some stories that be soul food, n keep crafting....

    My understanding of introverts, is that the way they recharge their batteries, is down time. Extroverts, gather n refuel from time with other folks. We all have bits of both I suppose, but I definitely need my quiet time to create, connect to spirit, nature...do my thing, otherwise this is what happens. It blows out in weird ways. Hard way to be reminded, for both of us, feelings hurt. There it is though...

    Relationships can show us both the beauty and the beast. I guess, both have their messages, if we can listen and learn. Mostly my fella and me are an awesome team. I don't have any kids, but from friends that do, I see its a similar thing. Keeping your heart open hurts sometimes, when we love, we are vulnerable. In sobriety we can see it all the more clearly, and feel it. Simply noticing. Simply picking up the pieces. Simply me......

    Blessings n good vibes
    2 x
    Calvino01
    Community Builder
    Posts: 205
    Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2019 4:05 pm

    Re: Relationships, the beauty and the beast.....

    Mon Jun 07, 2021 3:15 am

    Hi @Simply me
    I love the strategies that you use and your calming spirit through challenging times. It sounds like you've really gained the skill of changing your responses towards certain feelings or emotions you experience.
    0 x
    TheDees
    Moderator
    Posts: 150
    Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 4:29 pm

    Re: Relationships, the beauty and the beast.....

    Mon Jun 07, 2021 3:25 am

    hi, thanks for posting, what works for you?
    0 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 99
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Relationships, the beauty and the beast.....

    Mon Jun 07, 2021 9:28 pm

    Love this @Simply me !!!

    So good to see how far you've come.........these behaviour changes are epic!!

    Sitting in your discomfort for a while and letting it pass. Finding things to do to let it pass. Reflecting on what happened and allowing it to pass. Letting it come back and go and come back and go...........and letting it pass. Epic periods like this are what you can look back on and see what you're capable of getting through.

    It seems you're starting to get a real understanding of who @Simply me is, how @Simply me works and what @Simply me needs to do to get through the tough times. You're on such a journey of recovery and if you keep this up the path will flatten out and the road will become smoother.

    There will always be times where you'll find a big hill to climb and sometimes it'll come out of nowhere but if you can keep taking action and not reacting you're gonna start to reap more benefits of a life without substances. Through the pain comes discovery and through the discovery comes life.

    This is exactly the stuff people need to hear........thanks for posting.

    Just keep doing all that you're doing.
    3 x
    Simply me
    Member
    Posts: 69
    Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:51 pm

    Re: Relationships, the beauty and the beast.....

    Tue Jun 08, 2021 5:59 pm

    Thanks for your encouraging awesome support @PnorkelPW also@Calvino01 and @TheDees it meant a lot in a challenging time to read your words. Appreciated....
    1 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 153
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Relationships, the beauty and the beast.....

    Tue Jun 08, 2021 8:42 pm

    It was so beautiful reading this @Simply me, so well written and articulated in such a wonderful way.

    Your ability to walk away from a situation, reflect and find some sanctuary in a creative outlet is amazing to see.

    I completely agree with you when it comes to the vulnerability aswell. For me, romantic relationships are when I'm the most vulnerable so I see each relationship as an opportunity to learn about myself when I'm the most vulnerable.

    Thanks so much for sharing and I hope that you guys get through ok :)
    1 x

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