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  • How to help

    For friends and family of people with substance problems. Connect with others here to share support and advice today.
    john3511
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2020 10:37 am

    How to help

    Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:34 pm

    I have 2 long time friends that are alcoholics, and possible have mental issues as well. I am aged as they are, one male one female.
    The male is PC challenged but 5/10 on the smartphone.
    The female is somewhat OK on the PC and smartphone.
    I have realised by doing my best to listen and help them I am depriving them of the professional help they need.
    Neither friend has the slightest interest in any advice I have to offer, only that I listen to the lies and enhanced truth and get cried all over.
    I intend to distance myself from the unproductive listening roll and concentrate on pushing some real help their way.
    Myself.? No drugs, non-smoker and no alcohol. OK on the PC and smartphone.
    1st time I am going down this path.
    Soo ...... where do I start?
    :?:
    0 x
    Calvino01
    Senior Member
    Posts: 108
    Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2019 4:05 pm

    Re: How to help

    Tue May 05, 2020 1:53 pm

    Hi @john3511

    Welcome to the forums!
    It can be difficult for someone in your position having to support others who are facing this issue.
    Its great to hear that they have a friend like you for support and sounds like you have been helpful to them.
    You can find out some info on where to get help and provide them with this info, but also remember to set yourself some boundaries as well so that you don't get swamped by their stress. Its okay to let them know that there are limits to how much you can help them.

    How have things been going lately ?
    1 x
    User avatar
    tacocat
    Junior Member
    Posts: 14
    Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2020 9:54 pm

    Re: How to help

    Fri Sep 11, 2020 7:33 pm

    Hi @john3511

    I'd like to jump in here and congratulate you on your level of insight to your role in this situation. It sounds like you are quite right to detach yourself from the situation, and put your efforts towards pushing your friends towards professional help.
    Many people burden themselves with trying to take on the role of a treating professional in these types of relationships. Even a person who works as a counsellor would not try and treat a friend. You would be too close to the situation would need to direct your friend towards another treating professional.

    Hope all is well.
    0 x

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