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What do we do???

Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2020 1:02 pm
by Rosebud123
Father is a alcoholic has been for 10+ years.
2016 he agreed to rehab but only remained sober for a couple of weeks. June last year he lost his job due to drinking at work, one thing let to another and he ended up overdosing. Medical staff then forced him to rehab, soon as he was out he was back to the drink regardless of saying how he had no intentions to.
This whole year we have had blow ups. He has overdosed a number of times. It has now got to the stage we can't live with him anymore, he is against some friends and because we stick up for them he turns against us. And of course he puts all the blame back on us. He doesn't want to give up the drink and insists that's not the problem. He has got violent a few times.... to add to it we currently have grandma with us we are giving her pallitve care. It is a full time job and not like we can just pack up and leave.
Mum is just about to crack don't know what to do.

Re: What do we do???

Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2020 1:48 pm
by Leonarda
That sounds like a really difficult time [mention]Rosebud123[/mention] - just make sure that you are keeping yourself safe. Well done for reaching out for peer support today.

Re: What do we do???

Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2020 2:13 pm
by Starlee
[mention]Rosebud123[/mention]
I’m so sorry you are going through this, it sounds really stressful for you all. Don’t take the blame on at all, I’m no expert but from the advice I’ve been given and everything I read they are very good at blaming others!
Does he have any family that would be willing to have him stay with them? Though the challenge would be getting him to go. I totally get that it seems so much easier to have them leave than us uplift our families as I’ve faced the situation where it would be easier if they moved out because if I left I’ve got kids to take with me and that is not a viable option. Sending you strength and support and I hope your grandma and mum are ok.

Re: What do we do???

Posted: Thu Nov 05, 2020 11:29 am
by Lady Bug
Hi [mention]Rosebud123[/mention]

What a whirlwind you have been through with your dad. I can imagine you would be feeling so many mixed emotions, and understandably very exhausted from it.
It's very sad that he is in denial that his drinking is a problem... unfortunately for some people they may never admit it is a problem, and therefore will continue to drink for many years. It sounds like he isn't going to stop his behaviour any time soon. I liked [mention]Starlee[/mention] suggestion of him going to stay with family- is that an option?
There is two good websites I can also direct you to for some extra support:
This is a video of a group session for helping families (watch all of it if you can): http://www.fdsonline.org.au/
And some good reading on setting boundaries and dealing with conflict from Family Drug Support Australia: https://www.fds.org.au/coping-tips/

Keep us updated with how everything is. Sending you positive vibes <3