Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

[ScorpionPW]

Hey @apples123, thanks so much for sharing so honestly and openly with us about what's happening for you.

I remember feeling exactly the same way at some of my milestones. It was like, celebrating the milestone and focussing on it all of a sudden shone a spotlight on things in a different way, bringing up an array of stuff that was alway unpredictable and a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I remember getting told about "milestone wobbles" in my early days and that struggling leading up to, during and not long after having a milestone was really common. Also that it was a time when a lot of people would relapse.

I suppose for me, it helped to normalise it when I experienced this myself and also allowed me to be aware, therefore more vigilant with reaching out for support and making sure I wasn't alone when I was celebrating a milestone.

I'm wondering if you have any other supports at the moment and if you've ever been a part of any kind of 12 step group or other recovery community?

[apples123]

I had a great talk with my mum last night and have booked appointments to see docs and counsellor. But no community group or 12 step program. I live in a small town and if I saw anyone from work- even though it's anonymous- im still scared I'd lose my job.

Milestone wobbles... I like that. Last year when I hit 12 months clean, I was actually I moving house so I was distracted but also happier than I am today. covid is probably affecting me more than I realise this year to be honest. I usually keep to myself, kids, not many friends so lockdown isn't that different to normal life but I guess it might be affecting me without even knowing.

[PnorkelPW]

@apples123 I don't think you're alone in feeling this way around an anniversary.................I'm at almost 6 years and go through rough periods leading up to my "birthdays"

The world is in a crazy state at the moment and there's a lot of negative emotions flying around. What a lot of people aren't doing though is seeking the help...........but you are!! You've recognised that you're not travelling right and have taken action. Too many people pretend it's not happening or get caught up in thinking that they should be able to solve whatever is happening themselves.

It's natural to have ups and downs........especially over winter. I remember going through a low patch a couple of years ago and thankfully a mate pointed out the winter blues. I'd never really given it much credit...........until then. I acknowledged it as a contributing factor to some of the other stuff that was happening for me at the time and worked through it with help from supports. Now every winter I prepare myself for it so it doesn't hit as bad..........but they're definitely real for me.. There may be more to it than just that for you and seeing your Counsellor is 100% a step in the right direction.

Sounds like there might be other contributing factors for you at the moment and your support network is going to come into play. Something @ScorpionPW said to me once comes to mind...........a bad day in recovery is better than a good day in addiction..............I hope you can work through this without reverting to old behaviour.

It's not always easy............but it's worth it

[PnorkelPW]

Anyone out there tonight??? I’ll be here between 8pm – 10pm AEST as per usual and am happy to just have a chat or answer any questions you might have about addiction or recovery……….I’ve got experience in both

Lemme know if there’s any way I can support you

[apples123]

Hi again...

So after last week I am still not feeling the best and my mood is all over the place. I'm very angry and snapping at kids. I've smashed plates and broke toy guns today. My poor son was devastated. I feel horrible.

I'm also sad/teary- can't stop crying. I feel like I have 3rd day baby blues... anything sets me off...

After being clean off meth for 2years ive now stopped smoking weed... im so tempted to smoke but I have to get drug tests so I can see my kids more- it's the only thing that kept me calm. I also can't sleep.. so im just a ball of mess.

Docs tomorrow- hopefully they can help me - stabilise my mood or give me something to sleep...

Lockdown, home schooling, detoxing, crying - its just too much.. I'm just looking forward to some relief..

[BonsaiBeginner]

Hello @PnorkelPW I am trying to navigate the forums and get used to the set up here!

I am feeling fairly positive today. I managed to resist having a drink until Saturday. My 18 year old wanted to have a fire and cocktails and she spends so much time in her room that I jumped at the chance to interact with her. Then, even though I didn't say no to a few glasses of wine yesterday when my husband brought home a bottle after golf I am trying to focus on what I did achieve. I didn't binge 3 or 4 days in a row.
I have an opportunity now to reset in lockdown. I don't have to struggle with the anxiety of going to work this week and can focus on exercise, meditation and healthy eating while working from home. I get to have small moments with my daughter when she emerges from her room. I can walk outside and enjoy the glorious mountains I see from my backyard. I only have 6 weeks of uni left and will have finished my graduate diploma in psychology.
But I also need to develop a plan to further reduce my alcohol on the weekend. Every week I plan a long bush walk or bike ride for my husband and I on Sundays but I have been hung over every Sunday for the past 4 weeks. I think if I focus on one goal this week I might be able to achieve that.

[BonsaiBeginner]

@apples123 I hope you get some relief at the Dr tomorrow. Having kids at home while detoxing and struggling with emotional lows is a big deal. I think it is great you are sharing your experience. Many days I have wondered what the whole purpose of my life is. I usually come back to the fact that I want to be there for my kids. I think you are doing the best you can right now.

[PnorkelPW]

@AppleA it seems you’re having all the normal struggles of early withdrawal……….when the physical battle is having an overwhelming impact on the mental battle. Pot withdrawal is a sneaky one and I remember my struggles well……….an edginess and feeling that just wouldn’t settle. I reckon it was probably the lack of proper sleep that used to have the greatest impact.

It’s awesome that you’re seeing the doctor tomorrow………getting on top of the sleep is important and if you need some help to do it then that’s cool. The nightsweats really impacted me and between the overall withdrawal and lack of sleep my moods were really affected.

Don’t underestimate the impact taking away your coping mechanism will have………coming up with new strategies will be important. Recognising that you’re getting edgy and taking some time out is okay. Lockdown, homeschool, withdrawal………major drains on physical and emotional energy. We only have a limited amount of both so please be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to feel a bit crappy with life and everyone else.

If you have to take it an hour at a time then do that………you’d be amazed at what sneaking a few 20 minute power naps can do for you to get through the day……….or even a five minute meditation.

Don’t give up……..you’re doing a great job of acknowledging what’s happening and focusing on the reasons you’re making positive change to your life

[PnorkelPW]

@BonsaiBeginner you're doing a pretty great job of focusing on the positives and it sounds like you have made some adjustments to your routine so far.

I get the feeling you're making great plans but not quite following through and spending time with your daughter is important............just because she's drinking though doesn't mean you have to but it is hard to resist in that situation. She doesn't need to know you haven't mixed the alcohol into your drink...........just a thought.

When other people are drinking and you're trying not to it can be even harder so I reckon they're the times you gotta prepare for. Saturday nights seem like the night to focus on. You've got great plans for Sunday so keeping occupied positively on Saturday night is where I'd be putting my focus. Tuck up in bed with a DVD, play some boardgames, have a chat with your husband about taking Saturday night off so you can do your Sunday activities.

You're the expert on you..........so what can you do on a Saturday night to stay occupied?

[Nugnug]

Is Monday meetup happening tomorrow, Mon 30 Aug ?
what do I have to do to connect, new member.
thanks

[Peace Dove]

Hi @Nugnug,

Welcome to the forums! Yes, Monday Meetup will be happening today, Monday 30th of August, from 8.00 pm to 10.00 pm. Indeed, all you have to do is connect. It's great to hear you want to join in the conversation. Our peer workers @PnorkelPW and @ScorpionPW run it, so you can have a chat live with them and the other members that are around at that time too.

Looking forward to reading you around in the forums.

[OceanSky]

Hi I’m also new here (joined today!) and not sure how to navigate the forums, but would like to join the Monday meet up… so that’s tonight at 8pm on this forum thread?

[apples123]

has there ever been the idea floated or discussed about having a zoom catch up or something more than just chats in this forum?
Just curious...

[Peace Dove]

Hi @OceanSky, that is correct. Monday Meetup starts at 8pm and is held on this forum thread.

Hi @apples123, the idea has floated but the reason there's no zoom catch ups or something more than chats in this forums is the logistics of keeping the interaction anonymous. If you're interested in group meetings, I would highly recommend having a look at SMART Recovery. They run meetings both online and in-person (when restrictions allow).

[PnorkelPW]

Welcome back to another Monday Meetup………..I’ll be floating around the forums between 8pm – 10pm AEST as I do every other week. If you’re up for a chat about anything addiction or recovery then tag me or @ScorpionPW and we’ll get back to you.

Welcome aboard @Nugnug and @OceanSky ………great to have you on the forums. The meetup is a place for you to ask questions or share what’s on your mind. You can just post on the thread or you can tag us so that we get a notification and know to come back and respond.

@apples123 I hear ya and sometimes would love a chat in person but the forums offer their own unique communication style and remaining anonymous is important for so many. I concur with @Peace Dove and recommend you check out an online SMART Recovery meeting.

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