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  • Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    BonsaiBeginner
    Junior Member
    Posts: 24
    Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2021 2:30 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:13 pm

    Hello Monday Meetup!
    I had my first Sunday morning in 5 weeks without a hangover yesterday. Hubby and I finally went for our bike ride and I submitted my last assignment. That's the positive, The negative is that I drank a bottle of wine yesterday afternoon, had a crap sleep and spent most of the day procrastinating and feeling flat. A strangely productive day in terms of housework and paying bills but that was just to try and distract myself from the background of shame that I drank way too much again.
    I did have a plan and it mostly worked. I just let my guard down yesterday afternoon.
    I've been wondering if I will have a big emotional crash again on Wednesday if I manage to stay sober all weekend. I usually am exhausted and emotional on Wednesday's and I'm wondering if I'm actually having withdrawals?
    2 x
    OceanSky
    Junior Member
    Posts: 13
    Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:04 am

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:20 pm

    I’m just chilling on the couch watching TV. Day 2 done and dusted after a relapse. Relapse is the biggest challenge for me at the moment. I’m not giving up giving up but it does get a bit discouraging like snakes and ladders, counting the good days then sliding back to the start again. Has anyone else been through this and have any tips? I read one of the threads and it made a lot of sense, also saw a Ted talk, about that it’s a process and to be aware of it earlier, before the actual succumbing. The talk said it progressed through mental and emotional stages before the actual act. Very interesting.
    2 x
    OceanSky
    Junior Member
    Posts: 13
    Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:04 am

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:35 pm

    @BonsaiBeginner sorry to hear that. I know how you feel, the shame when it sneaks up like that. The only things that works for me is total abstinence and not having alcohol in the house to tempt me. My weak point is when I have to go shopping and pass the bottle o on the way through the exit. You could well be having withdrawls. I know myself it’s always awful for the first whole week with my body trying to readjust itself back. And that horrible flat empty tired feeling. I’m on day two myself today. Hang in there. Keep trying.
    3 x
    BonsaiBeginner
    Junior Member
    Posts: 24
    Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2021 2:30 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:49 pm

    @OceanSky Not keeping alcohol in the house is a strategy we use. Grocery shopping is always a challenge with the bottle shop right there. I think being honest with myself about why I want to stop drinking before my health starts to suffer is a big motivation to keep trying. I think I'm ready to ask hubby not to bring any drinks home next weekend so I don't have to do battle.
    I hope you have a successful week keeping sober.
    1 x
    OceanSky
    Junior Member
    Posts: 13
    Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:04 am

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:55 pm

    Thanks BonsaiBeginner and I wish you well too. If you feel flat, I find vitamin B and Magnesium supplements help me to get through the physical yucky first week. Good luck.
    2 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 30, 2021 9:28 pm

    @OceanSky and @BonsaiBeginner this is all such a natural part of early recovery……….it’s what you can learn from the slip ups that’s important.

    @BonsaiBeginner you’ve already been able to identify so much on a short time and recognise where the danger times lie for you. Being at the point of asking your husband to help you by making changes is a massive step too……….a massive positive step. It shows that you’re really focused on achieving your goal and keep looking at new solutions to put in place.

    @OceanSky same goes for you…………being able to recognise that shopping is a danger time for you allows you to prepare for it. You say snakes and ladders, for me it was like being on a merry-go-round. Every time I thought I was making headway I was back to the same place and it was always full of ups and downs. I hate to say it but that’s what it takes to make changes when you’re on the path to recovery.

    I definitely remember all the times of feeling soooo crappy on Sunday and making the promise to myself that this time it was different only to get to later in the week and feel better so I’d start entertaining the idea of “I’ll be okay this time so a drink won’t hurt”………….and then be back in the world of pain and regret. The more I did that the more I realised that I need to work harder on not succumbing to those thoughts and preparing myself for the rough times. I think most people who’ve been on this journey identify with that………just don’t give up.

    You've both identified some really helpful tips. I'd encourage you to think about when your danger times are and write them down. Next start writing down things you can do to distract you at those times. You are the expert in you and i can give all sorts of tips about how to keep busy but the answers are inside you............what do you think might work for you?

    Remember………..the only way we find the solutions is by making the mistakes……..AND LEARNING FROM THEM

    Don't be afraid to make mistakes..........be afraid of what happens if you stop trying
    1 x
    apples123
    Junior Member
    Posts: 27
    Joined: Tue May 07, 2019 12:40 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 30, 2021 9:43 pm

    Hello

    Attended my first smart recovery meeting tonight. I can recommend this as well as this forum. I feel very well supported by the options available when previously I felt very alone. I'm not a fan of attending a meeting face to face as I'd likely try and score or find a new dealer but the online meetings and this forum allows me to really be honest and not be judged.

    I feel at times like weed isn't seen as a big problem or addiction like alcohol or meth but to me it is. It's stopping me from seeing my kids, I'd lose my job if I got caught and driving well its instant 3 months loss of licence.. so it is a big deal but it's not like meth where u can overdose... and people say it's only weed.. its not addictive....

    It's been 17 days without any weed and the night sweats are easing. Been to doctor and now taking meds to help with sleep but I've put on like 3 kgs as it increases my appetite so much. So now I'm stressing about my weight... but eating is better than not eating. My next plan is to just start some light exercise- just a short walk... small goals....
    4 x
    OceanSky
    Junior Member
    Posts: 13
    Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:04 am

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Aug 30, 2021 10:19 pm

    Thanks @PnorkelPW.
    Yes I can try to identify when things are starting to get wobbly and keep busy to distract myself.

    Well done @apples123! Keep up the great work! Yeah the early stages suck. That’s why it’s so annoying for me repeatedly going back there again. 😭
    3 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Sep 06, 2021 8:29 pm

    Monday Meetup rolls around again and it's great to read back through this post to see @BonsaiBeginner , @OceanSky and @apples123 all sharing and supporting each other..........that's what the forums are all about.

    I'm stoked to hear you're all making some really great progress..........and remember...........progress not perfection. Just keep moving forwards and making good decisions like you have been.

    I'll be around the forums as always tonight between 8pm - 10pm AEST

    My Monday has been a tough one. I got the news that at 4am someone very important in my life has passed away. He told me less than 2 months ago that after fighting for 4 years doctors finally told him that it was a matter of time. I feel grateful that I'd spent lengthy time with him on the phone because Covid prevented me travelling to see him. I'd told him what he meant to me by shaping me as a person and giving my life direction. Sometimes there are people that come into your life and change it for the better without even trying to. At a time in my life where I was directionless and uncertain he and his wife helped me find some stability and provided a great deal of support.

    Gratitude has played a big part in my day. Emotion has played a big part in my day. I've cried..........alot. The usual emotions have done the rounds........anger, denial, sadness, laughing about the good times. Through all of this though I'm reminded that nothing is worth picking up a drink or a drug. No matter what happens I can get through it with the support of family and friends and by being honest and vulnerable about my emotions..........and feeling them instead of numbing them.

    Through the pain came relief because I know he went peacefully and was loved and cared for.

    Some days are better than others but this is one Monday that's definitely been a tough one.............time to go write some gratefuls in the "3 Things I'm Grateful For" thread
    0 x
    apples123
    Junior Member
    Posts: 27
    Joined: Tue May 07, 2019 12:40 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Sep 06, 2021 8:39 pm

    @PnorkelPW I am sorry to hear about your loss today. Reading your post has touched me even though I don't know u or the person who passed was. Thank you for sharing the emotions you went through and how your processed them today. ❤
    1 x
    BonsaiBeginner
    Junior Member
    Posts: 24
    Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2021 2:30 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Sep 06, 2021 8:49 pm

    @PnorkelPW I am sorry for your loss but so glad you got to connect with your friend meaningfully. That is so important.
    I know my latest low point coincides with the anniversary of my father's unexpected death. So much left unsaid and so many regrets. But I like to think I he is proud of me.
    2 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Sep 06, 2021 8:58 pm

    Thanks @BonsaiBeginner ............I'm sure the fact that you keep trying to make improvements in your life would make him proud
    0 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 369
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Sep 06, 2021 9:23 pm

    I'm so sorry to hear that @PnorkelPW, can I just say how much I appreciate how authentic you are in articulating your emotions and what a roller coaster ride grief can be...

    I can relate so much too, in that I have felt much deeper sadness in recovery than I ever did using and that's simply because I give myself permission to feel it....not try to numb it and squash it down like you said.

    Recovery means we get freedom to have a human experience, and a human experience is painful sometimes but It's great to hear that you've got supports around you and you know you're not alone in that.

    Sending much love and care your way my friend :)
    2 x
    PnorkelPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:14 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Sep 13, 2021 8:11 pm

    Another Monday Meetup, another opportunity for sharing

    As always I’m around between 8pm – 10pm AEST doing the rounds on the forums

    How was your weekend?
    0 x
    BonsaiBeginner
    Junior Member
    Posts: 24
    Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2021 2:30 pm

    Re: Monday Meetup - Join us weekly!

    Mon Sep 13, 2021 8:31 pm

    @PnorkelPW I managed another weekend without a drink.

    I was worried that I wouldn't be able to spend time with hubby and enjoy myself without drinking but the past two weekends we have still sat out on the back deck and watched the sun set and while he has had a few drinks I haven't. We still talked about the same sorts of things and I didn't wake in the middle of the night with my heart and mind racing. I didn't wake up with a pounding head and churning stomach. We've still had nice relaxing weekend mornings and bacon and egg breakfast. And I haven't been too hungover to go for a walk or bike ride. We finally did a walk I've been proposing for two months on Sunday.
    We are planning on hiking Mt Kosciusko in December so every Sunday I want to do a long hike to get in condition. That is a motivation to keep me sober on Saturday nights now.

    I hope you found some time to enjoy the sunshine over the weekend.
    2 x

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