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  • Feeling guilty

    The impact of ICE/Methamphetamine use can be significant and problematic. Join this forum to find support and conversations on changing ICE use and recovery.
    Missy13
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 9:40 am

    Feeling guilty

    Wed Mar 17, 2021 9:45 am

    I always feel guilty after I've used, I start to hate myself and the fact I let myself get to this point again. But as soon as I'm out or I come down I'm back chasing again.
    Its like I'm two different people.
    Is it just me?
    1 x
    Bamboo [facilitator]
    Community Manager
    Posts: 220
    Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:46 pm

    Re: Feeling guilty

    Wed Mar 17, 2021 10:46 am

    Hi @Missy13 welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your first post. I can see the cycle and conflict you are experiencing which certainly comes with a range of emotions including guilt. Good on you for taking the step to reach out. I'm wondering if you currently have any supports in place?
    0 x
    Missy13
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 9:40 am

    Re: Feeling guilty

    Wed Mar 17, 2021 3:43 pm

    @Bamboo [facilitator] I currently don't really have any support. I moved states 3 weeks ago to get away from toxic family and to get clean. Everything was going ok until it wasn't.
    0 x
    Bamboo [facilitator]
    Community Manager
    Posts: 220
    Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:46 pm

    Re: Feeling guilty

    Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:50 am

    That sounds really tough @Missy13 . What are some things you can do to look after yourself today? I can see one of our Moderators has been in touch also with some info.
    0 x
    Katiee
    Junior Member
    Posts: 19
    Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2019 10:54 pm

    Re: Feeling guilty

    Sun Apr 25, 2021 3:49 am

    I remember feeling guilty every time I used, and then shame would fear it’s ugly head. And then I would want to use again so I don’t feel that guilt or shame. I mainly used drugs to numb my feelings so any unwanted feelings was not good. So just know your not alone in the guilt and just let it go, it does us no good
    2 x
    Rae_04
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2020 9:18 am

    Re: Feeling guilty

    Fri Apr 30, 2021 10:58 pm

    That's the way it goes. We punish ourselves for giving in and mentally beat ourselves up over and over. Although the punishment doesn't last because our addiction takes over you are back on the hunt.
    My therapist started with having me brainstorm reasons why I did it. What positive effects did it have on me (regardless of how fleeting) and why did I keep going back to it. How did I feel after the first puff? What did I like about it?
    I realised that I needed to do some research and find what else I could do that would give me a similar feeling of freedom, confidence, motivation, creativity and focus then do more of those things.
    We trick ourselves into believing in many lies to keep doing what we are doing though deep down we are aware that it's just the drugs physical effect to our brains that make it seem like life is so boring, we are less than when we are clean, that we need it to do this and that. But we don't. Have to remind myself that I am meant for more and I have all the power needed to reach my goals and work like my best life. One day at a time and each time you turn it down you are getting stronger and stronger.
    0 x
    TheDees
    Moderator
    Posts: 137
    Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 4:29 pm

    Re: Feeling guilty

    Sat May 01, 2021 10:54 am

    Hi @Rae_04 ,

    Thank you for your post, it was really insightful. It sounds like your therapist has really encouraged you to reflect on these feelings of guilt, and that it's allowed you to recognise your inner strengths. That final line, "one day at a time and each time you turn it down you are getting stronger and stronger" is a great motto to stick by!

    @Katiee Guilt can be incredibly overwhelming, but your perseverance is fantastic! Thank you as well for the words of encouragement :)
    0 x

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