Welcome to our online peer support community. Connect with others making change in their alcohol and other drug use. Join our online community today.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Anonymous. Professionally moderated. Free of judgement.
  • FRIDAY NIGHT

    This is a space visited by peer workers who have a lived experience of addiction and recovery and is an opportunity to relate to and draw hope from those who have been through similar things as you.
    Cakie181
    Junior Member
    Posts: 25
    Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2022 1:53 am

    FRIDAY NIGHT

    Fri Oct 14, 2022 10:03 pm

    Hey to who-ever ends up reading this post....
    It's now friday night,and was wondering what you are up to for the night and or the weekend....me,personally,am trying my best to stay clear of my son-in-law and his brother who is down from victoria and are using,again,so yeah,staying clear of those two,and it kinda sucks,coz my son-in-law are pretty good close friends,and i dont have any friends or family around me,after needing to cut trigger people out of my life,experienced financial,mental,emotional,and physical domestic violence and abuse by my mother,and my daughter doesnt talk to me or see me after she violently attacked me,probably coz i decided to stay by my son-in-law during the times of them permanently seperating,she was stealing several thousands of cash (son in law got a payout of $50,000 for motorbike accident) and was physically assulting him,kicking him out on the streets,and cheating on him over a few years time period... but,on the good side,my son has started talking to me again,but he's not ready for hugs or much talk other than the small talk kinda thing...but yeah,it's a start...friends i have zero of,they were big triggers for me to drink and use other substances,i needed to make a choice,between them,or using...i chose to be left alone.....
    Friday night,9:28pm, alone...so,i decided to dye my hair,give myself a full facial,with mineral mud mask,exfoliant etc,paint my toenails,and put a full face on and get dressed up like i'm going out somewhere but will possibly get a little housework done....
    Was great getting into my garden today,but now my lower back and knee (previous injury) are really aching,and with no available decent pain killers,which sucks,but the hot water in the shower seems to help,but only for a short period of time...
    Anyway,it's time for me to go rinse out this hair dye,i'm going red again,it suits me well so people tell me,so i'll stick with that...might even put some bleach blonde and black streaks thru tonight or tomorrow
    Happy weekend peoples
    Cakie
    4 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 692
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: FRIDAY NIGHT

    Wed Oct 26, 2022 9:21 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing this @Cakie181, I know you posted it a while ago but I just stumbled upon it.

    It's so hard when the only people close to us are those who are still caught up in stuff that we're trying to stop doing...

    I remember finding it so hard in my early recovery having to spend less and less time with my close people because they were still using. It was so important for me to make new connections in the peer groups I was going to otherwise it would have been an extremely lonely road...

    It's good news about your son as well, even though it's a work in progress as you said it's something to build upon.

    Love the self care too, sometimes doing little things like that can help us to feel like we matter even if it's just for us. I know I feel that way if I have a bath, or get a massage it's always a nice way to show myself that I matter.

    I'm wondering where things are at for you now since posting this?
    0 x
    Cakie181
    Junior Member
    Posts: 25
    Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2022 1:53 am

    Re: FRIDAY NIGHT

    Fri Oct 28, 2022 12:09 am

    Hey.....
    Well,i'm still here,still living and breathing,deep breath in,count to three,slowly exhale,and repeat 3 times,chanting "life is wonderful,life is grand" three times over,opening my eyes and seeing things in a different light....my son actually came round to my house the other day for the first time,to check out my house i moved into 12 months ago,it was good,but could tell he wasnt very comfortable that day with being in an unfamiliar setting and being with me again after so long of not even knowing if he was dead or alive for over 2 years,my mum just point blank refused to let me know if he was ok and was safe somewhere,but yeah,it was good to have him all to myself for half an hour,still no hugs yet tho....lol...
    My daughter still isnt talking to me,it's been since march 2021 that i last really spoke to her and the violent attack from her onto me,but i hear she's doing good at her first real job,as an aged care worker in a nursing home,but is leaving her 3 girls (15yrs,11yrs and 8 yrs old girls) all alone in the house while she does double shifts,and the 15yr old is hardly at home since school started back this year....
    I have been tempted yo go thru the pubs drive-thru,just to get a 4 pack of something,like jack daniels or vodka cruisers,but i made myself wait for about 30 minutes,and that was long enough to make me think about it,about how far i've come so far,and the waste of monies too,made me change my mind,but a cigarette was needed after that...lol....oh well,one demon at a time please..
    I'm still all alone here tho,with no friends or family to talk to or to just hang out with and watch a movie or go for a drive to the beach with,so i've been trying to focus on my gardening stuffs,weather permitted tho,it's been raining for the last 4 or 5 days here now,and the weather changes are another trigger for me,with the alcohol i mean...
    But,look,i'm just rambling on here again,and not saying much of anything of any importance or whatever....
    Keep strong peoples!
    Know your limits,whether it be alcohol or other substances,know your triggers,practice meditation (it works for me at least) and it's all in the timing,people and places,times of the year,music,smells,they all play a part with memories,but it's time to accept it for what it was,and not how it currently may be,for now....
    Pamper yourself....take good care of yourself....
    My cat kika is a great distraction when i'm craving aswell,pet therapy really does work,ay... Well,for me at least.. .
    So,yeah...i shall leave it as it is now,and i shall say seeya later to anyone that ends up reading my dribbles
    ......*cakie*....
    1 x
    af
    Moderator
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2022 2:00 pm

    Re: FRIDAY NIGHT

    Fri Oct 28, 2022 7:30 am

    Hi Cakie,

    Thanks so much for your reply here and sharing more of whats been happening for you. It sounds like all you're dealing with some complex family dynamics. Its good that you're talking about these concerns with others here.

    I'm glad to hear you're supporting yourself and staying in touch all the while :).

    I'm really impressed from hearing about how you are taking on manageable goals and making change! Good on you for controlling what you can right now. I love that your cat is a useful distraction for you when you're having cravings. What other distractions or supports help you during craving times?

    I'm also wondering about your grandchildren's wellbeing. Do you think this is something to touch base with maybe the police or some other group to make sure they're safe and well?

    Stay in touch :)
    1 x
    Sunflowerseed
    Community Builder
    Posts: 233
    Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2022 10:33 am

    Re: FRIDAY NIGHT

    Mon Oct 31, 2022 1:12 pm

    Hey @Cakie181,
    Good to hear from you again~
    It's nice that you found gardening very helpful to help you distract yourself when the urges hit you. Your garden sounds lovely! Now Spring is here, hopeful the weather will be more stable for you do add more color to it!
    You've done really well on delaying the urges, glad you know what you can do to help you get through those moments. Keep us posting about your progress! :)
    0 x
    Sunflowerseed
    Community Builder
    Posts: 233
    Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2022 10:33 am

    Re: FRIDAY NIGHT

    Mon Jan 30, 2023 12:31 pm

    Hi @Cakie181, I just want to check in with you and see how you've been doing? :)
    0 x

    Return to “Peers for Peers: A space for connecting to others and our peer workers”