Recently Admitted I Have A Problem With Drugs and Iv Never Felt More Alone

[M6396J]

So I finally sought help from family from a drug addiction. And they have all been supportive but they also seem so distant. Honestly all I want to do is have dinner with my family or just sit with them. Not even talk, I just want to be around people and just feel for a moment not like a freak or a looser. I know I was the one that made the bad decisions, but like my world is already crumbling, all I kind of want is to not feel so alone. But every time I try and talk to them about letting me be around them, all I feel is regret. I feel like they are keeping things from me. Which is fine, I know I ruined their trust. But they all sit watching tv, or talk to each other, and I feel like I can’t initiate wanting to be around them, because iv already ruined so much of their lives. It’s also been like only a few days since opening up about an addiction, but like these have been the hardest few days iv ever had to experience and it sucks. iv never posted or said out loud a lot of these things, but does anyone have any advice? Literally sat here crying, when all I want is to be around another person. How do you get through the first few days of admitting a problem?

[Koala_85]

Hi M6396J,

Koala_85 here, (one of the moderators on the forum). Firstly welcome, its great that you've reached out and can share your situation with us on the forum.

It sounds as though you're going through a lot at the moment, where the feelings you're experiencing are quite normal after disclosing something as personal as an addiction.

You've shown tremendous strength in telling your family about your addiction where in most in instances it will be awkward before it gets better.

If anyone on the forum can relate to M6396J, we would love to hear from you.

Thanks for sharing your situation M6396J and look forward to your future posts

Koala_85

[Bugsy76]

Hey I’m new here to. And I think just admitting your problem is a huge step. It’s so hard to explain to someone who isn’t an Addict why it’s so hard to stop just want to say we’ll do e on the first steps. Been ng honest with yourself and those closest to you is a huge achievement.

[Gizelle]

Yeah agree honesty with self and owning one's own addiction is a great starting point and a big relief

[Gizelle]

Perhaps sitting in your own space among your family and sending them, and yourself thoughts of unconditional love and acceptance may help. I was absent from my family for a number of years and the dynamics were different when I returned. I have 7 brothers and sisters and each sibling had a different attitude towards me. Ranging from the moral high ground to very supportive.
Be patient with them. Bring flowers or bake a cake. Doing loving gestures like this eventually shifts painful awkward relationships into more relaxed joyful relationships. I like baking and now my family associates me with lovingly made cakes... I try to be my best friend. Using mindfulness really helped me too.

[MalKumari]

Hi [mention]M6396J[/mention]!

I know it's been a minute but I just wanted to check up on you and see if your were doing okay. How have you been lately? Have you been taking care of yourself?

Your bravery to discuss your experience both on this forum and with your family is empowering and I just want to ensure you're coping well!

Please reach out to us and let us know how you are doing. We look forward to seeing you post!

Take care

MalKumari

[Calvino01]

Hi [mention]M6396J[/mention] Its been a while since we last heard from you ?
How have things been going since you last shared with us?

[ScorpionPW]

Hi @M6396J, this post was so brave and I admire you getting vulnerable and reaching out for help when you were at a point that sounds like it was really hard.

I remember the isolation I felt when I admitted to certain people that I had a problem and wanted to do something about it. It was like, all of a sudden people didn't want to be around me, didn't have the time of day for me and I felt very alone.

Literally the only way through that I found, was 12 step groups in the community. Being around other people who were either in the same position as me, or had been and had found a way out helped me to feel like less of an alien and gave me hope that things would be ok.

After some time in recovery, some of the people that were close to me through my addiction ended up forgiving me and felt safe to be close to me again. I had to acknowledge that my addiction had traumatised people close to me and I had to give them the time they needed to process and heal aswell. The only reason this was ok is because I was able to get support elsewhere, otherwise I don't know how I would have gotten through.

I am wondering how you are now, as I realised you posted this quite some time ago?

I hope to hear from you on here again or that you have found some support and most of all, that you're not alone. And if you are, just know that you don't have to be.

[AAA]

Yeah I got a problem and have down played it far too long that it wasn't that big of a deal.

[Sunflowerseed]

Hi @AAA,
Welcome to the forums. Good on you on recognising the problem and taken a step forward towards recovery.
It can feel overwhelming at the beginning of the journey. If you need some information on where to go from here, feel free to ask us here. Our peer workers here have lived experiences, so they always have some insight view that they can share. You can also tag me for any questions.