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[PnorkelPW]

My environment is very important to me and there’s a reason for that. There was a point in my addiction where things were really bad. I’m not sure I can say the worst because there were so many ups and downs but I was going through a phase where I desperately wanted to change my drinking and using. I was going through stages of stopping and starting and things were getting worse every time I started. What I noticed was the state of my bedroom, the bedroom door, and its reflection on my mental health. I was living in a share house at the time.

I like my environment to be clean and tidy and everything has its place. I like to have my bedroom door open. What I noticed was that as I started drinking and using again my bedroom door slowly closed. At first it was a little bit which started hiding the clothes on the floor behind the door. Then it closed some more while it hid that my bed wasn’t made. Then it was completely closed hiding the bottles and drugs and it was a mess. My sheets weren’t washed and the room was a disgrace…………….so was my mental health. My addictions impacted my mental health and I’d be in a bad space. I’d get to the point where I couldn’t keep going so I’d make a decision to clean myself up and stop again…………or at least cut down.

I’d cut down, clean up my room and the door would be open again. Then my drinking and using would escalate, my mental health would deteriorate, and that bedroom door would close over again.

That’s why these days I focus on my environment and keep it clean and tidy. It’s a reflection of how I’m travelling and if it’s starting to get messy I know I need to pay attention to what’s happening for me.

[PnorkelPW]

Is there anything you can do to change your environment @ringtail? Or do you want to? Sometimes changing the way a room is setup can change how you feel in it. I've known people who've left detox or rehab and gone home and changed their furniture around so they feel like they're in a different environment and they've found it helpful.

Congratulations on stringing a few drug free days together...........that's a great achievement!! It's not an easy thing to do.

The early stages of being off the drugs isn't easy and the body will go through all sorts of cravings and withdrawal symptoms. Is there anything you do when you feel jittery that helps?

[ringtail]

@PnorkelPW : ) yes I spent yesterday doing that, I rearranged the whole living room area I work and live in. I felt pleased with it yesterday and it was nice for today too. but it has not really helped my scattered brain, or perhaps that's hard for me to compare since I just did it. plus it was the weekend and I didn't have to work.

I haven't found anything to help the scatter yet, I don't like it at all, it's horrible. it doesn't seem to go away and I am getting hot sweaty times, which feel awful, and I feel shaky too.

I like doing mindfulness, which helps with my anxiety a lot usually, but does not seem to be cutting it right now with this brain and other stuff. I also exercise, I did a big walk this morning before work, though none of these things seem to be helping at the moment. how long is this horrible body stuff going to last, do you have any idea, or is it so different for different people and circumstances that it is not really possible to predict at all?

[PnorkelPW]

Sounds like you're doing a lot of things to try and work through it @ringtail. What substance are you trying to stop using?

I'd recommend going and speaking to your GP and a drug and alcohol counsellor who'll be able to help you work through it. They'll be able to help with strategies and provide information on what to expect and how to work through it. The symptoms of withdrawal are similar for people but depending on the substance and how much you're using the severity can differ.

Do you have a GP and would you consider seeing a drug and alcohol counsellor?

[ringtail]

thanks.

I don't have a GP as he died a few years ago and now I live out in the badlands. I would maybe see a drug counsellor, would I have to see a GP first or can I just go to one somehow? I don't know, I don't trust the privacy stuff at all, I work as a media/web developer and am a long-term activist, none of it from what I can tell is really secure, it's one of the main reasons I came here. that may sound perhaps a bit like I don't want to help myself but if so that would not be true. I am paranoid, maybe overly or maybe with good cause. who can say.

[PnorkelPW]

You'll be able to see a drug and alcohol counsellor without seeing your GP. Just google and see what services are in your area. I've tagged @Sunflowerseed who can provide the national phone numbers so you can call the correct number for your state and start to make some enquiries.

Privacy is a concern for a lot of people but this is something that's very hard to do alone so learning to trust can take time..........but it's worth it.

[Sunflowerseed]

Thanks for tagging me @PnorkelPW.

Hi @ringtail, the National AOD Hotline number is 1800 250 015. It is a 24/7 line so you can call anytime you want. They can give you some details about the services you can access and help you find a drug and alcohol counsellor in your area. You can also call them when you feel like the urge to use is too strong and would like to talk to someone even just to distract yourself for a bit.

[PnorkelPW]

HI All………Monday rolls around again, I hope your week has been okay.

So this week I’m wondering what it is you do to keep busy or occupy time. I’ve been stuck at home with Covid this week and I’ve found it hard. It takes me back to my early days of recovery and trying to find things to do………..trying to figure out what I liked doing and what I wanted to do.

So what I’d like to know is what hobbies you have? What interests do you have?


@EmmaCat @KTM12 @Hasslehoff @Mandy58 @Mozz @MiniMelon

[PnorkelPW]

So it’s occurred to me this week that I might need to look at some new hobbies. Although I’ve been crook and have been sleeping quite a bit there’s only so much TV I can watch. Luckily I have a fair bit to rearrange around the house which has given me some things to but there’s times where I’ve been looking for things to do too. I’m used to being able to leave the house but haven’t been able to. Today I got out a jigsaw puzzle I bought a while ago. I haven’t been able to work on it lately and I forget how good it is for my mind. It really helps me switch off.

If I could have left the house I would have been playing golf, swimming, walking the beach, walking a bush trail, meditating on my rock, trying to shoot some 3 pointers at the basketball court, going for a kayak, or trying to stay active somehow. Around the house there’s gardening, cleaning, painting, sanding, and trying to stay on top of whatever else needs to be done……….finding the motivation for that can be hard sometimes though…………but it has to be done.

I just need more housebound hobbies or activities though.

[ScorpionPW]

You've reminded me of the multiple times I've had to be in lockdown and how stir crazy I got.

It really helped me to even just get out for a bit of a walk around the block at a quiet time of the day when I knew I was unlikely to cross anybodies path.

I look forward to hearing what other hobbies/activities you end up finding for yourself and I hope you get through it all ok

[PnorkelPW]

Hi All……….’tis the week before Christmas. Welcome to the forums @Brendo79 @BenjiBoy96 @DonnaD @Alice899 @Smores @Shygirl101

How are you doing leading not the Christmas break?

Does anyone have anything on their mind?

[PnorkelPW]

Christmas isn’t an easy time for everyone, it can bring up lots of emotions. It’s not always easy being around friends and family and for varying reasons some people can’t be around friends and family. Christmas can bring up painful memories, remind us of difficult times or situations, it can bring financial pressures, and the reminders of Christmas are everywhere. There’s decorations in the shops, on tv, the radio, and just about everywhere you turn. Looking after yourself is important at this time of year.

I choose to have a pretty solitary day. For the last 10 years I’ve spent most of the day alone. I go and see my daughter first thing in the morning and then head home to be by myself and reflect. My family is scattered and I’m the only one who talks to everyone else so I do my catch-ups either side of the day. I usually see my dad and brother before Christmas, my mum’s birthday is Boxing Day so I go see her then, and my sister lives interstate so that’s just a phone call on the day. I actually enjoy myself, there’s not many people around so it’s great to get out and walk the beach and just chill. I like to reflect on the year that’s been and the year to come and see what I can work towards or improve. I find that having a solitary day takes a lot of pressure off and I can just relax.

The pressure to drink can be big on Christmas Day and everyone seems to have a drink in their hand. There seems to be some sort of celebration with work or friends every weekend leading up to the day and the emphasis is on drinking at them too. The emotions can lead to wanting to use drugs to settle your nerves and there are just triggers everywhere. Pressure can seem to build the closer it gets to Christmas and it can get uncomfortable.

Reaching out to supports is important. Who in your network can you talk to?

Things I find that can help at parties are to get there early and leave early. It’s usually later at parties that things start to get out of control and people get drunk and annoying so if you’ve been there and seen everyone, stayed for a while, and then got out early it can feel good. Having someone at the party to go for a walk with can help too. If you’re feeling uncomfortable you can just grab them and go for a walk around the block to calm down. It might pay to have two or three people in case the first one is busy. Having a couple of people ready to accept a phone call can help too. It can be easier to just take yourself for a walk and make a call. Driving to the Christmas party can help too. Having to get your car home can not only stop you from drinking or using, it can give you a way to escape if needed. It’s good to have a Plan A, B, and C

Maybe you’re just trying to make sure you take it easy. You could try drinking light beer, take a limited amount of cash and leave your cards at home so you can’t access more money, make a plan to arrive and leave with a friend, take limited drinks to the party.

Does anyone else have any tips for Christmas Day or the parties leading up to it?

Let’s get through this as safe as possible

[ScorpionPW]

I love hearing about how you have managed to turn having a solitary Christmas into a real positive @PnorkelPW and how you have found way to make the most of the time, keep yourself safe and choose how to interact with your family.

Christmas for me was challenging for a lot of years with various family dramas and dynamics playing out, knowing they were going to play out everytime but still being there waiting for it to happen each year.

It was last year that I decided to change things up and make the choice to do things differently. This year, I am lucky enough to have been invited to my partners mums side of the family for Christmas but other than that it's just all about the little ones. I love waking up, seeing the excitement and seeing the spirit of gratitude and giving in the tiny peoples.

I think that choosing who to spend Christmas with, and choosing who to call my family as opposed to being in a situation where I am really anxious and uncomfortable out of obligation took me a long time to be able to do. I am glad that I know, even if I don't have a conventional Christmas that I can find a way to have a nice, relaxing time and see the joy in my sons eyes.

I would love to hear how this time of year is for everybody else and what people are doing over this potentially tricky, but also potentially joyous time of year

[PnorkelPW]

Totally @ScorpionPW ………….our choices are what lead to our happiness.

Theses days I ask if I’m doing the right thing by putting myself in a situation and I suppose the biggest question I ask myself is this…………..”Is this the right choice for me?”

It can seem selfish but it’s more about setting positive boundaries for myself………..I like to call it “positive selfishness” and it’s how I protect my recovery and just do what’s best for me overall. I can’t control other people but I can choose whether being somewhere is best for me.

[ScorpionPW]

I like the idea of positive selfishness @PnorkelPW, it reminds me of putting my recovery first is actually putting everybody I love and who loves me first.