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  • Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Deyfhob
    Member
    Posts: 40
    Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2021 3:31 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Sat May 29, 2021 1:57 pm

    @ScorpionPW

    Hi thanks for asking, I have been struggling a lot with my mental health this week. Not sure what the trigger has been but I’ve gone as far as to make an appointment with my doc and waiting on test results to try and tackle it. Hasn’t been a fun time 🙄🙄🙄
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    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 624
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Sat May 29, 2021 2:13 pm

    hey @Deyfhob I'm sorry to hear you've been having a hard time with your mental health lately. Sometimes it can be difficult to pinpoint the exact thing that's triggered these rough periods. Reaching out to the GP is a really great approach. I hope you get the test results soon. How are you looking after yourself at the moment? I hope that things start to get a bit better over the coming days
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    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 463
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Thu Jun 03, 2021 2:19 pm

    Sometimes it can be two steps forward one step back @Deyfhob...I remember having days where I'd feel really depressed, anxious, angry, sad or just have my thinking so loud and fast and just wanting it to stop! But knowing that my old way of dealing with it, by picking up to drown it out for a while wasn't an option anymore.

    Sometimes I could get to the bottom of whatever it was I was going through in my thinking or emotions and work through it but there were also times when I just had to let myself be in the state I was in, not try to fix it or change it, allow it to pass and try not to be hard on myself.

    I know that's easier said than done as well and when you're in it, it can sometimes make no difference hearing that.

    How are things going for you since the weekend?
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    Deyfhob
    Member
    Posts: 40
    Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2021 3:31 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Fri Jun 04, 2021 1:30 pm

    @ScorpionPW havent been the best. Have been to the docs and am low in iron and vitamin D so will start to try and up those levels and see if that helps. Thanks so much for your support it means a lot, unfortunately at the moment I feel like all I do is sook. I don’t like it at all but yeah that’s the place I’m in at the moment
    2 x
    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 372
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Sun Jun 06, 2021 1:15 pm

    Hi @Deyfhob,

    It's nice to see you around again. You've been missed in the forums.

    I'm so sorry to hear about the low iron and vitamin D. However, I'm really glad you've been to the doc and hopefully they would have send you something to treat this so you start feeling better soon. Veggies can be your allies too in getting those levels up.

    No need to apologise. It's understandable your physical health is impacting on your mental health. And it's okay to be in a sook phase as well. I mean, it's not okay you're not feeling 100% okay, but what I'm saying is it's okay to also say 'hey, today I want to sook because that's just how I'm feeling'.

    I really hope you start feeling better soon.
    :)
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    Peace Dove
    Community Builder
    Posts: 372
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:22 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Sun Jun 06, 2021 1:18 pm

    Welcome to our newest members @Rimarily, @Casper6, @Ioanna and @meownow123!

    Please let us know what have brought you to the forums and if you've got any goals in joining we can help you with.

    Feel free to post and intro of yourselves by clicking 'Post reply' at the bottom on this page.

    Looking forward to hearing your stories.
    :)
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    Deyfhob
    Member
    Posts: 40
    Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2021 3:31 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Jun 08, 2021 11:02 am

    @Peace Dove thanks so much for your lovely reply. Still being a sook and not feeling any better at all yet, however I am hopeful. Feeling very lonely right now and just altogether blrrrggghh
    1 x
    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 624
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Jun 08, 2021 11:18 am

    hey @Deyfhob feeling lonely is the worst feeling, it makes all the other negative feelings so much worse. Do you have anything you might like to do to help take your mind off of things right now? I know it can be hard to think of other things to focus on, especially when you feeling blah, but sometimes even the smallest distraction can help lift our mood. Remember we're hear for you!
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    Deyfhob
    Member
    Posts: 40
    Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2021 3:31 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Jun 08, 2021 1:25 pm

    @Lhiver this is probably going to sound really bad but all I’m interested in at the moment is sleeping. I can’t drag myself out of this mindset 😢😢😢
    1 x
    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 624
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Jun 08, 2021 1:39 pm

    @Deyfhob I know you already know this but there are going to be times like this, recovery is full of ups and downs and it's really important to keep in mind right now that this feeling will pass. It's so important to remind yourself of the fact that this will pass. The fact that you're reaching out here and are able to recognise how you're feeling is really good. If you feel comfortable I would 100% say reach out to Directline on 1800 888 236, just so you have someone there to talk to.

    Keep in mind that we're here for you, please keep reaching out, I hope that this all passes for you and that some good feelings come your way.
    1 x
    wishy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2021 7:24 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Wed Jun 09, 2021 7:32 pm

    Hello everyone, really not sure what to do anymore. Very long story which I wont bore you with but suffice to say my husband is drinking again after a detox at the start of March. It started off as only one day a week but now it is back up to every second day. I know the time is coming where I will have to kick him out as I wont watch him become ill again. I am the breadwinner and work full time so I have no control over the time he spends at home feeling sad and sorry for himself. I sound bitter but perhaps I am just tired..............
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    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 463
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Wed Jun 09, 2021 8:38 pm

    Hi @wishy, what you're going through with your husband sounds really hard.

    It is hard to support somebody while watching them self destruct, I grew up with my parents in and out of recovery and experienced that at times. I had to learn some hard lessons in how to be loving without enabling (which is easy said that done at times I might add).

    Well done for having the courage to reach out on here aswell, it's not easy but it's the first step to lightening the load on yourself.

    I'm not sure if you've heard of it before, but Family Drug & Gambling help is a great resource for somebody who finds themselves in a position like the one you're in now:

    https://www.sharc.org.au/sharc-programs ... ling-help/

    I hope you can find some helpful things that you can connect with on here and continue to reach our for support, because you're not alone in this struggle :)
    0 x
    ScorpionPW
    Peer Worker
    Posts: 463
    Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2021 10:06 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Wed Jun 09, 2021 8:44 pm

    Try not to be so hard on yourself @Deyfhob, if you're struggling the you're struggling, you're not alone and it's ok to reach out for help when you need it.

    One thing that was so important for me in the early days of recovery was just allowing myself to be in whatever state I was in, not try to fix it or change it and reach out for help to get through it when I needed to. Sure, there were times when I was sick of struggling so much and sick of talking about struggling so much but there was always somebody there if I reached out to help me through until things were less of a struggle and I could start to frame things in a more positive way.

    I just think it's great that you're still here and reaching out when you feel you need to :)

    Things like low iron aswell can make a huge difference to your energy levels and general emotional/mental well being. Well, I know that for me very simple things can tip the scales and put things out of perspective very quickly.

    How are you at the moment?
    0 x
    Becoming cynical
    Junior Member
    Posts: 7
    Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2021 9:50 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Sep 07, 2021 12:21 pm

    Hi. I am here because my partner is an alcoholic. At times he acknowledges this is so, though he often uses minimising language such as "I don't drink that much" and "I've had a couple of cans" (he means 3 cans of 10%, so equivalent to a bottle of wine). In December he damaged his car while alcohol affected and had no recollection of what had happened.

    Last week, again, he decided that he can't give up on his own and sought help. He went off to see a GP who recommended Naltrexone, counselling etc. He had another GP appointment on Saturday for mental health care plan and give him the prescription which he couldn't get filled on the day. I thought I could smell alcohol when he returned from the doctor's appointment but elected to not say anything. I am very good at identifying when he has been drinking but do not always choose to have that conversation. Yesterday I got home from work and he told me he has commenced the Naltrexone. I also thought his behaviour suggested he had been drinking and then caught a whiff of his breath that confirmed it for me. I stated that to him and he denied it. When I pressed the point he agreed that he did have "a few cans" in addition to the medication.

    I have told him before that I find liars to be cowardly and that I value honesty. He lies to me about his drinking often. My understanding of Naltrexone is that is will bolster a genuine desire to cease drinking by removing the euphoric effect of alcohol. I don't believe my partner is actually motivated to stop so I don't think the Naltrexone will work.

    As well, I work as an AOD counsellor. I have told him before that I will not be his worker, and that I need to not work when I am at home. All the time I am conscious of what I am saying to him, and what I perhaps "should" be saying to him. I have also been through addiction myself (cannabis - 15 years sober).
    1 x
    Lhiver
    Community Builder
    Posts: 624
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 9:59 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - friends and family

    Tue Sep 07, 2021 1:24 pm

    hey @Becoming cynical Thank you for sharing your story. As you know it can be difficult to reach out and share what's going on when it comes to substance use, especially a loved ones substance use, it shows a lot of strength.

    It sounds like an incredibly difficult situation with your partner. Working all day with people in the AOD field and then coming home to the same issues would be draining. It is good to hear you have set the boundary with him that you are not his worker, but of course, as you mention, it is difficult to reconcile saying what you feel as his partner with what you know you "should" be saying as an AOD counsellor. The emotional betrayal and knowledge of being lied to are distressing, and overtime they do wear you down and it becomes hard to feel as though change is possible. It sounds like while your partner has made some steps towards change it will take more effort from him for you to feel as though it is meaningful change.

    I'm sure you're very aware of this, but at this stage it is obviously so important to take care of yourself. Do you have supports in place for you? The old adage "you can't pour from an empty cup" is really relevant at this time, especially with the conflation of your work and home life.

    There are other members in the forums who are managing family members or people near them with substance use issues @Dogfluff @Ally22 @Cmonletsgo They may have some words of support.

    Likewise, the peer workers @ScorpionPW and @PnorkelPW are incredibly insightful.

    Please continue to reach out here, we're all here to support you, and I'm glad you've found a space where you can share your experiences.
    1 x

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