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  • Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    For people making and maintaining change in their alcohol and other drug use. Connect here to share your story and gain motivation today.
    Mez28
    Junior Member
    Posts: 8
    Joined: Mon May 18, 2020 10:40 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue May 19, 2020 5:27 pm

    Hi Mitzy,
    Thank you for asking.
    Haven’t had a drink since Saturday and like you have always used alcohol.
    I was drinking between one and a half to two bottles of white wine over say a five hour period, late arvo into the evening. Not to get drunk, just relax I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️.
    Hubby doesn’t drink much due to his work but I think what got to him was me hiding it and we’d been through this cycle a couple of years ago.
    I do hope I can change my habits, and I will still have a vino with friends of special occasions and I’m sure being on here will help.
    And yes, I’m a bit scared to talk to a councillor but will hopefully chat online to someone first.
    Mez
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    Sushi Roll
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed May 20, 2020 5:21 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed May 20, 2020 5:38 pm

    Hello my name is Taylor.
    Alcohol has finally ruined my life I have lost all my friends and my relationship is questionable. I drink to the point i can’t remember and lie and fight with everyone. My friends have distanced themselves from me and my partner is struggling. I have been hiding the alcohol and lying about it letting friends down. I now have no choice but to cut down I’m scared of the process and I want to rewind time but that’s obviously impossible. I want to only drink when my partner dies which is rarely once or twice a month or if we go out for dinner. I know I can do this but it’s hard alone, hopefully there is someone who can relate to my story and we can help each other through this difficult time. :)
    1 x
    Strugglingmethaddict
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Wed May 20, 2020 6:51 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed May 20, 2020 8:18 pm

    Hi all this is Geoff ive been an ice addict for nearly two years now, i had previously used speed/ice about only 5 times through out my adult life but got trapped in a perpetual cycle of using/quitting then a week or so later start using again, i tell myself every time that im done for good and it can take weeks to even start recovery ing my energy if i even make it that far, for the most part my lawns/house and health fitness are behind in everyway, i had joined a gym pre covid-19 to try to focus on staying clean but cant do that atm and also no longer have a job, all this basically happened as i was cleaning toxic people out of my life and instead of building a new circle of friends i was consumed by my habbit instead, i dont feel comfortable discussing family so i feel completely alone thats why im here, i have a poitive outlook at changing things but would be nice to have people who understand to talk to.
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    SnowGlobe88
    Member
    Posts: 40
    Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2019 12:52 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu May 21, 2020 10:44 am

    Hi Geoff,

    Welcome to the forums. I'm one of the moderators.

    What you have described sounds challenging. It's great you have started trying new things because finding positive behaviors can help with managing urges. I'm happy you have joined the forums and I encourage you to connect with others on here for support. Have a look around the forums and reach out if you have any questions.

    Thanks,
    SnowGlobe88
    Moderator
    Strugglingmethaddict wrote:
    Wed May 20, 2020 8:18 pm
    Hi all this is Geoff ive been an ice addict for nearly two years now, i had previously used speed/ice about only 5 times through out my adult life but got trapped in a perpetual cycle of using/quitting then a week or so later start using again, i tell myself every time that im done for good and it can take weeks to even start recovery ing my energy if i even make it that far, for the most part my lawns/house and health fitness are behind in everyway, i had joined a gym pre covid-19 to try to focus on staying clean but cant do that atm and also no longer have a job, all this basically happened as i was cleaning toxic people out of my life and instead of building a new circle of friends i was consumed by my habbit instead, i dont feel comfortable discussing family so i feel completely alone thats why im here, i have a poitive outlook at changing things but would be nice to have people who understand to talk to.
    0 x
    Mez28
    Junior Member
    Posts: 8
    Joined: Mon May 18, 2020 10:40 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon May 25, 2020 7:35 pm

    Hi Taylor.

    I can certainly relate to your story!

    I’ve been hiding and drinking alcohol for as long as I can remember and with this corona virus I was just drinking far to much.

    You’ve done well with joining this forum, a great first step!

    Good luck and I hope we can help each other to.

    Mez
    Sushi Roll" post_id=2086 time=1589960291 user_id=1656]
    Hello my name is Taylor.
    Alcohol has finally ruined my life I have lost all my friends and my relationship is questionable. I drink to the point i can’t remember and lie and fight with everyone. My friends have distanced themselves from me and my partner is struggling. I have been hiding the alcohol and lying about it letting friends down. I now have no choice but to cut down I’m scared of the process and I want to rewind time but that’s obviously impossible. I want to only drink when my partner dies which is rarely once or twice a month or if we go out for dinner. I know I can do this but it’s hard alone, hopefully there is someone who can relate to my story and we can help each other through this difficult time. :)
    [/quote]
    1 x
    Renae38
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2020 6:48 am

    Diddo

    Fri May 29, 2020 6:16 am

    :roll:
    0 x
    Bamboo[facilitator]
    Junior Member
    Posts: 10
    Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 8:50 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon Jun 01, 2020 3:05 pm

    Hi everyone I'm the new online community manager :) I'm looking forward to contributing to the community and facilitating discussions around topics that are important to you. We'll be starting our "Chatty Monday" session in 2 weeks time at 6pm (after the public holiday). I will post a link on the homepage.

    Everyone's welcome, join us any time. Simply say hey,
    1 - Tell us about your week, and
    2 - Perhaps bring a question or topic you'd like to chat about.

    A little bit out myself, in terms of hobbies I enjoy going to the market and finding unique and antique items.

    Something that inspires me is seeing the amazing support the community provides each other and also the strength and courage it takes to reach out. I'm excited to contribute in growing the space and picking up from where @Vik left off.
    1 x
    Holly83
    Junior Member
    Posts: 0
    Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2020 10:34 pm

    Reintroduce yourself here - lived experience

    Wed Jun 03, 2020 10:51 pm

    Hi my name is Holly and I've been smoking ice ever since I was 25 and I am 37. I go in and out of massive binges and at the moment I am in one and I am sick and tired of it. I want help but I am scared of speaking out because I am worried about causing heart ache for my loved ones. I am forever missing appointments for the counsellor. I am always tired when I am coming down which is normal, but i am trying to hide my addiction so it makes it hard to recover.
    I have experienced domestic violence and I've had a stalker and they all involved drugs.
    I suffer from anxiety and depression so I am not doing myself any favours. I just want to be normal, covid 19 is making it so hard. People are charging double the amount so I am getting used! I would l9ve to hear from someone that has made it into recovery because I need some helpful ways to get around this before I end up dead from a heat attack.
    0 x
    Bamboo[facilitator]
    Junior Member
    Posts: 10
    Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 8:50 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jun 04, 2020 9:33 am

    Hi @Holly83 welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of strength and courage to reach out and ask for help, it sounds like you've been doing it tough and are looking for some ways to assist with your recovery. I'm sorry to hear you have also experienced domestic violence, is this something that is still ongoing? Are you safe? You've mentioned you have missed counsellor appointments, I'm wondering if you've tried online or telephone counselling instead? We have some options https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/ho ... ne-support if you are interested. I'm going to tag some of our members for some further support for you @Renae38 @Strugglingmethaddict @utq157 @Chip
    1 x
    hope123
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2020 11:42 am

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Sun Jun 07, 2020 12:09 pm

    Hi. My online name is Hope123.

    I like art and craft, reading, playing games. I find inspiration from different places - books, movies, stories - but often find it hard to apply the inspiration to a project (at least not one that finds its way to completion).

    I started drinking alcohol as a young teenager, maybe 15. Getting drunk was and has always been the goal. I'm now in my early forties, and drink 3 or 4 days a week to get drunk. Mostly by myself. If I drink socially it's recently been to the point of blacking out. My father was an alcoholic, so were his brothers and his father.

    Because of the bad decisions I've made and situations I've put myself in I've built my life on never-ending regrets. Self-hate, heartache, sadness, insecurity, shame. I lost all of my friends when I was a teenager because of my behaviour and I just spiralled into a pit of blackness. I stayed with my partner even though I wanted to leave him many times, because he was all I had. I am now married to him and have an 8 year old child. Our relationship is fine now.

    I just have to stop drinking. I'm not achieving things I should be because I'm just thinking about drinking or have a hang-over. I avoid social situations, can't maintain friendships, jeopardise projects - at work and home. My life feels like a constant lie - just trying to hide my alcohol use from everyone. Checking to make sure they can't "see" who I really am.

    And I especially have to stop because of my son. Instead of enjoying time reading to him at night, I just want him to go to sleep so I can drink. Instead of greeting him happily in the morning and having a chat - I have a hangover and avoid him. I stopped exercising, I don't talk to my parents, I don't call anyone. I'm on antidepressants, have to have my heart and liver checked, and am tired all of the time.
    1 x
    JessaMae
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2020 5:32 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Fri Jun 12, 2020 5:57 pm

    Hi I'm JessaMae. I've smoked meth on and off for 15 years and started using shooting up 12 months ago.
    I've lost everything. I have never in my life felt so alone. I've been trying to get in to detox and rehab facilities. That's proving very hard. I've moved back with my dad and step mum. It's me and my step mum getting this done. I just want my baby back and my love for meth got in the way.
    The last time I used was this morning. Tomorrow is day 1
    2 x
    Bamboo [facilitator]
    Community Manager
    Posts: 14
    Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:46 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon Jun 15, 2020 8:39 pm

    Hi @hope123 welcome to the forum and thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

    It can be incredibly hard when we feel stuck in a vicious cycle, particularly when it's things we may have learned or been exposed to growing up.
    We can mimic these behaviours in our adult lives. The good thing though is that we can also do our best to unlearn them and adopt new behaviours and habits. Reaching out is that very first step and it takes a huge amount of courage to do so well done.

    It sounds like you're going through a really tough time but it's great to hear that things are going well now in your relationship. I can see that you want to improve your situation in particular for your son, that is a great motivator.

    I'm wondering if you may have thought about getting some support from a Counsellor? We have telephone and online chat options available, as well as blog articles you may find useful here .

    How have you been going this week?
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    Bamboo [facilitator]
    Community Manager
    Posts: 14
    Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:46 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Mon Jun 15, 2020 8:49 pm

    Hi @JessaMae welcome to the forum, thank you for sharing your story with us.

    It sounds like you've gotten to a place where you've hit rock bottom and lost everything. I can't even imagine what that might feel like.

    The positive to this is that it's uphill from here. You've taken the step to reach out and an ever bigger step by looking at detox and rehab facilities which is great. It shows your commitment to wanting to improve your situation.

    I'm wondering how you went with that and if you have been able to access those services? It's good to hear that you have support from your dad and stepmum that's really important during tough times.

    We're here for you.
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    JessaMae
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2020 5:32 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Tue Jun 16, 2020 7:10 pm

    There isn't a lot of help available to be honest. I chose to detox at home myself because calling in and checking in everyday yet keep using made little sense to me. I feel like I need to do something to get my life back. Its been tough but things are starting to happen now so hopefully it all pans out.

    I just want my life back, my child back. This is tough and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy
    1 x
    Bamboo [facilitator]
    Community Manager
    Posts: 14
    Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:46 pm

    Re: Introduce yourself here - lived experience

    Thu Jun 18, 2020 4:37 pm

    Hi @JessaMae yes it can be especially hard when some services aren't available. Taking it one day at a time is particularly important, and like a muscle, it will get stronger every day the more we work on it.

    How's detoxing at home going and what's helping you get through those tough moments? I'm wondering if you've been able to access some telephone or online counselling while you've been at home for some extra support?
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